The Best Is Yet to Come

I stared down out of the window; nothing could be seen because we were encapsulated inside a cloud. All I knew was that our home country rushed past beneath us as we drew closer and closer to home. Home…

My face was still stinging - my salty tears had mixed into the scratches. I knew I looked like fuck. I knew I was clinging onto the seat to stop myself from ripping someone’s head off. Only Mr Farlen, sitting on my left, was keeping me in my seat. My nails dug into the padding of the arm of the chair as a fresh set of tears threatened to claim me again. I could feel my throat choking. I ripped the headphones from my ears, the lyrics to unbearable, and didn’t care when the ear piece dangled off its securing precariously. I could feel Mr. Farlen’s stern stare on my face, burning, like his eyes were blazing. The look had been etched on his face since last night. I was going to be in so much trouble when I got home. I was lucky if Mr Farlen, let alone the school, was going to keep me on. I was going to have to have an apology brewing, but it was too early for all this, I was still blinded with rage.

Because my mind hates me, Terri on top of Josh flashed into my memory over and over again.

I remembered my drunken stagger into the room, the halt in my breathing that almost caused me to pass out, the sickness and knot that had claimed all dominance in my stomach. I’d thrown myself up straight after several moments, my eyes meeting both of theirs. I’d known Terri’s plan all along but that didn’t stop the pain that had ripped out my heart, thrown it on the floor and trampled all over it. Josh had complied for fuck sake!

I remember Terri’s smug pleased look as her lips had lifted from his. Her body arched to lean over him, like a over orange, skinny cat. Her skirt had hitched up to her lower back as her legs had parted over his, a noticeable lump in his jeans…

Josh’s face had broken my heart. His familiar and comforting blue eyes, that I’d always loved, found mine and for a second he looked completely confused before guilt and shock crossed over his face. I didn’t give him the chance to flick through any more emotions because I’d stormed from the room.

My heart was pounding in my ears as I tore from the room. I could only faintly hear him calling my name.

“Jasey! Jasey! JASEY! WAIT!”

There had been a scramble as he collided with his door in his desperation to reach me. I’d turned around on my heel and typical fashion, slapped him as hard as possible.

“Fuck off!” I’d managed to strangle out my clogged throat.

“Jasey, hang on a minute, I did no-”

“It’s okay Joshy, you don’t have to explain to her,” Terri had appeared at his shoulder, her fake nails snaking over his shoulder, claiming him. “Sorry, Jasey, we couldn’t help it.”

That’s when I’d lost it.

“No-” Josh had started to say, shaking her off him but it had all happened so fast I didn’t comprehend his actions in time. I could feel my claws extend as I lashed out for that fake face. I managed to hit her at least. I wasn’t normally such a violent person – I couldn’t help it when I was feeling like this. This was worse than that time with Nia. I threw everything I had at her but she retaliated with equal force. Hair had been pulled, nails slashed skin, and punches collided with skulls. Josh had tried to rip us apart, his hands trying to separate us. I didn’t hear what he was saying. People had turned up. I could hear squeals and cries and chants. I could hear Mr Farlens voice over everyone’s. He had been shouting at us to stop.

Finally Josh’s hands had wrapped around my waist and he’d tugged me backwards away from the bitch. Sam and Callum had pulled her away. Her hair was a complete mess and I could see blood on her lip.

“Put me down!” I demanded as tears finally hit. “You bastard put me down!”

“Jasey! Will you let me-”

“LET GO OF ME!” I’d yelled, my nails digging into his hands because I needed the space. I was suffocating. I was going to pass out. He had refused to let go.

“Mr Franceschi please!” Mr Farlen had yelled and Josh reluctantly let me go. I staggered away from him and Mr Farlen stepped between us all. There had been a lot of shouting. I had known I was going to be in deep shit but I didn’t care. He’d sent Josh and everyone away. He’d then taken me and Terri, with the other teachers on the trip to keep us apart, to the lobby downstairs where we got a row. I absently massaged my face. I had cuts on my face, swollen lip, bruised cheek bone and head. There was a deep gash on my shoulder too. We had a huge lecture for an hour before we were sent to separate rooms.

I hadn’t had the chance to talk to Josh since then and I didn’t want to. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. My eyes drifted from the dreary blank windows to stare at wall in front of me. We were at the front of the plane away from everyone else. I swallowed hard and let my head fall back against the hard airline seats – I needed to rest.

***

“What the fuck?” Erin asked me when we finally got in the car. To be fair, I’d never seen her so shocked. Mr Farlen was telling my mother what had happened. Erin turned around in the front seat to stare at me.

“Bitch kissed my boyfriend.”

“So you hit her?” Erin asked with a laugh.

“Yes.”

“Nice.”

I threw her a glare and ran my hands over my battered face. I groaned and sank down in the seat.

“Wuuhuohhh, here comes lover boy.”

My head snapped up to look out my window. Josh was arguing with his mother as he hurried over to our car. My eyes snapped to his hand – there were bloody cuts there. Shit I’d done that to him when he’d refused to let me go. I’d hurt Josh.

‘He broke your heart’ – I told myself.

His cheek wasn’t quite right, one side tinged red, his eyes were puffy and he looked more exhausted than he had all tour. I’d never seen a more forlorn looking person.

He’d caught my gaze in the car.

“Fuck,” I breathed. Mr Farlen and my mother had caught sight.

“Josh, please, now really isn’t the time, I’ll get her to call you when you get hom-”

“Please Mrs Warne,” Josh said sharply but politely. “I really need to speak to her.”

“Sorry about this Samantha,” Mrs F apologised.

“I really, really need to speak to her.” He turned to me pleadingly. I looked away.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mr Farlen interjected. I knew Josh was about to retaliate but Anne Franceschi cut across him.

“You can call her later, come on Josh.”

And I knew they were gone.

My mother shouted at me, despite looking mildly amused, and didn’t approve of my violent behaviour. Surprisingly, I wasn’t grounded; my mother rarely expelled such serious punishments. Erin just bit into her lip to stop herself from laughing. My mother ended by telling me not to get into a fight over Josh Franceschi again – that was something, I was keen to stick too.

***

“You have sixteen new messages.”

I groaned, sank back down onto my bed and hit the ‘delete’ button. I had also received multiple texts and house calls. I glanced across the room to my mirror to check the damage. I wasn’t too bad. There were a few cuts on my left cheek and one that just missed the corner of my eye. My lip had gone down but I could still feel the cut on the inside. I had a bruise on my right cheek and several fingerprint ones up my arm. She’d looked worse.

I wasn’t sure actually what to do. Some small truth inside me knew that Josh had nothing to do with it. He hadn’t complied with it at all but yet he’d been turned on by her? Why hadn’t he pushed away?

I was battling away internally all day.

After the calls and texts had failed, he tried a new tactic – in the form of Max Helyer.

“Oh God,” I muttered under my breath when I opened the door.

“Thanks,” Max replied flatly and his mouth dropped when he finally took me all in. “Shit Jase, what’d she do to you?”

“You should see her,” I hissed and turned my back, letting him come in. “He sent you round didn’t he?”

“Excuse me, I’m not allowed to see my best friend?”

I growled. He got me there.

“I’m here for several reasons. One, I wanted to see how you were. Two, I haven’t seen you for an entire week and I miss you. Three… he wanted me to check on you, okay you got me,” he sighed before getting defensive. “But I was coming around anyway!”

“Okay.” I collapsed onto my sofa, letting my head hit the back of the cushion.

“So how are you?” Max asked, sitting down on the cushions next to me.

“How do you think?” I muttered with my eyes shut. “My boyfriend got off with a skank.”

“Jase, do you honestly think he would do that?”

My eyes snapped open.

“You’re his best friend, you’re supposed to defend him.”

“I don’t have too. I know him, I believe him, Jase, I have heard his story.” Max shifted his weight to face me better. “Will you at least talk to him?”

I groaned, snatched a pillow and yelled into it. I resurfaced to sigh a ‘yes’ at Max. Suddenly looking very elated that his work was done, he grinned and started babbling on about what Josh and I had missed whilst in Ireland.

“I spent the entire day with her,” Max said, his eyes dazed, and ran a hand through his hair, lost in awe. I smiled slightly, curling up to face him.

“You had your first date with Lucy?”

Max shifted uncomfortably, his grin fading slightly.

“Well… I don’t know if she saw it that way, it was more like friends…” He looked like a lost puppy. My own troubles forgotten, I smiled in sympathy for him.

“Oh Max,” I said through a soft laugh and hit him with a pillow. “Boys are such idiots.”

“Thanks.” He ran his hands through his hair which the pillow had flattened.

“Keep going out with her but make it a bit more… romantic? Take her out to coffee or dinner and a movie or something,” I told him, smiling that something in the world could potentially go right, especially for my best friend.

“I love having girl best friends,” Max said cheerfully.

“Yeah, we’re the best, by the way,” I added, snatching my mug up from the table. “Get your hair cut.”

I smiled into the tea whilst Max desperately ran his fingers through his long hair.

***

“You look like shit,” I gasped when I arrived in the park. I’d actually stopped in my tracks when I’d caught sight of him. His face looked drawn and tired, his eyes sunken with heavy shadows underneath – I’d never seen him like this. He looked rather bitter. I was frozen to the spot. All I could hear was the thundering hammer of rain on my frail umbrella. Josh had nothing, he hadn’t even pulled his hood up. He was drenched from head to toe; his saturated hair plastered to his skin. He blinked a few times, the rain falling off his lashes each time. Instinctively, my eyes finally fell on his bare hand and I could still see my fingernail marks there. A twinge of guilt twisted my uneasy stomach.

He finally looked up from the broken and scuffed tarmac to look at me. I managed to unfreeze and take a step back. His tired eyes had a menacing effect. I felt this urge to reach out and tell him everything was going to be okay, but the eyes kept me in place.

“Josh,” I started, reality finally falling into place.

“I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t do anything with her,” he said sourly, each word full of meaning and impact. He refused to take those broken eyes from mine. “You have wonderful timing. Just as she climbed on top of me, before I could register what she was doing, you were in the room.”

I stood there, clutching my umbrella, speechless. A single drop of collected water fell from his hair and landed on his nose.

“I did not cheat on you,” he said through clenched teeth, his eyes flickering between the both of mine. “I never would.”

“But you were…” I swallowed and tried to steady my breathing. I felt so horrible. “’Happy’ to see her.”

Then he blushed. His cheeks flushed with a noticeable red against this drained skin. His gaze finally left mine and he stared at the floor. His shoulders hunched and he looked uncomfortable.

“I was thinking about the night before,” he whispered shyly as he scuffed his trainer against the tarmac. “Before Mr Farlen… And what could have happened.”

“You didn’t…?” I asked gently. Lost for words. “You don’t want her…?”

His face broke into a soft smile.

“Course not you idiot,” he replied through a laugh. He ducked under my umbrella, slipping a hand around my waist as he pulled me towards him. “I only have eyes for you. Remember that.”

The large knot that had sickened my stomach unwound itself until it was completely gone. I sighed and felt my shoulders relax. I smiled sheepishly up at him.

“Sorry I hit you and sorry I thought you’d do something like that,” I whispered.

“It’s a natural reaction.” He shrugged and then his forehead creased as he became serious. Josh pointed his finger at me. “But you have to stop hitting people. Including me.”

“Sorry,” I repeated and stared down at the ground before grumbling to myself. “I’m not sorry I’ve got a good swing. Stupid cow.”

His chuckles sent vibrations of good energy through me and I felt myself soften.

“School’s gonna be fun, huh?”

“If I’m not expelled,” I mumbled and glowered out into the rain. Josh laughed, kissed my forehead with his cold wet lips until I shivered.

***

“I don’t give a fuck,” he murmured seductively into my neck. In spite of myself, my legs went to jelly at the growl in his tone. I gripped onto his arms as his nose traced along the bare skin. What the fuck was I doing? His lips pressed to my skin, the sensitive spot caused my entire body to tingle. I clamped down on my lip as hard as I could. I had to swallow before I could speak.

“I hate you,” I replied weakly. I wasn’t very convincing, even to myself.

“I know,” he responded in a chuckle. His hair tickling my chin as his made his way, kiss by kiss, down the side of my neck.

“Fucking hell!” I protested through clenched teeth. “I’m still a bit- FUCK!.”

I heard him snicker as I bit down hard on my lip. His hips were pressed to mine as close as possible.

“I know, I know, I’m trying to undo everything that’s gone wrong,” he whispered into my skin, as the strap of my top slipped off my shoulder.

How the fucking hell was I here? Had it only been an hour since we’d argued? Since we’d gotten back from the park? I wound my hands into his t-shirt, yanking him backwards to look him full on in the face.

“Joshua Franceschi, you are so damn evil,” I hissed but smiled ever so slightly.

“I have some making up to do,” he countered, his finger tracing up my top and back down my spine. Then he lost me because I instinctively pulled his mouth to my own.

***

October came around in no time. Our first month a college seemed to blur past in a mixture of hard work and band stuff. Things had patched themselves up at school. I was allowed to stay and I just kept my head down and worked, deciding to ignore the whispers in the corridor. I was learning to not give a shit about what people thought of me. Unfortunately, even though the attention had shifted to I a bit more, the talk of Josh and his band didn’t fade away. He was as popular as ever – whilst I got on with it, I trusted him to decide who was genuine and who wasn’t. Terri wasn’t a problem because I just ignored her. I wasn’t going to drop so low ever again. I had Josh and that was all that mattered.

The band stuff started to get more exciting. The guys set off on a short tour supporting Elliot Minor for a week. I was proud at the guys because they’d arranged with the colleges to be sent coursework over email. I sucked it up and just carried on with my home based friends. On the 23rd, after they’d got back from the Elliot Minor tour, their debut single ‘Save It For The Bedroom’ was released on Slam Dunk Records. This seemed perfect for a celebration so the occasion arose for a house party thanks to Mr and Mrs Helyer. This meant friends and family of every band member made their way to Max’s house for a night of celebration in favour of You Me At Six and their first single.

“Just stick it on mute then,” I argued as I snatched the remote from Matt’s hand. “Otherwise we’re going to have to put up with all the adverts.”

“Chris turn it back up!” Josh shouted without taking his eyes off the TV screen as an advert rolled on for spot cream. The music in the room suddenly over threw the chattering again.

“D’you really think they’re gonna show it?” Matt asked dubiously as he picked up his half drunk can of beer.

“They’re bound to,” Josh said optimistically with a matching smile and still didn’t take his eyes off the screen.

“One of us going to stay here all evening aren’t we?” I asked the other two as Limp Bizkit’s ‘Rollin’’ came on the Kerrang channel.

“We’ll just keep an eye on it,” Chris said as he joined our side. We were all frowning at the screen as we watched the video in silence. We felt completely oblivious to the party in full swing behind us. Chants, cheers and laughter could just be heard over ‘This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race’. None of us moved.

Max’s voice broke our transfixion.

“It’s the first day, may take a week to come on, will you please stop gawking at my tv and enjoy this stupid thing we’re throwing for all of you?”

“And you,” I added as my gaze finally slipped away.

“Thank you by the way,” Josh said as he came to join my side, his eyes kept snapping to the TV. I nudged him in the side.

“Yeah well done Maxy,” Matt said and downed the end of his drink.

“Yeah well no more for you mate,” Max said taking the can away from him. “When you get to the ‘Maxy’ stage you’ve had way too much.”

Josh bent forwards slightly at my side as he tried to hide a laugh. I bit my lip at the look on Matt’s face as Max walked away.

“Coming to get another?” Matt asked the three of us.

“I’m going to stay…” Josh’s voice trailed off as he sunk against the window sill, his eyes on the screen again.

“Come on,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at my boyfriends behaviour and yanking on the guitarists and bassists arms as we made our way through the crowd.

Everyone was here. All of our close friends were here, all the friends Josh and I had acquired from college, friends from Chris, Dan, Matt and Max’s colleges, local band’s they’d got to know, Tom, Elissa and Erin with their friends. It was a really packed house. I flashed smile after smile at familiar faces on our mission for new drinks.

“Have you seen Lucy?” Max whispered in my ear when he snagged me from my path back to the living room.

“I don’t think she’s arrived ye- Em, have you seen Lucy?” Emily jumped off the last step, swinging around on the banister to face us.

“Hmm? Oh no, she and Ashley are arriving in like ten minutes, they were having car trouble.” She scrunched up the side of her layered hair to give it some volume. “You seen Summer? She had some very nice boys a moment ago.”

“Living room.” I grinned when her face lit up. “So,” I said, turning to Max, backing him up to the corner where there actually wasn’t anyone around. “Tonight’s the night?”

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for the perfect time, there’s alcohol, party atmosphere, I’m pulling.” I’d never seen Max so happy.

“I figured as much, I wondered why you jumped at the chance to throw a huge party. I mean it’s a single, not your first studio album.” I shut up then because the glare Max was giving me was too much. “Sorry.”

“I got your support?” Max asked me, his eyebrows raised.

“Of course-”

“HA!” Josh’s outburst of happiness had us both looking around in surprise as the music vanished. “Mate, turn it up!”

We stood there confused, frozen and listening as the familiar intro sound of ‘Save It for the Bedroom’ increased as someone turned up the volume. Surprisingly, the flatter sound coming from the TV sent tingles through my bones. Excitement shot through me with a slam of my heart.

“No way,” Max breathed and yanked me into the living room. Everyone was crowded around the TV. Of course, I’d already see it, but I kicked off my heels and clambered up onto Max’s sofa with him to view over the heads of the party.

Everyone was silent as Josh started singing on the TV. A shot of pride warmed my chest when their name and video name appeared on the screen at the bottom. I glanced over the heads to find the guys. Max was next to me, dumbstruck. Chris, Josh and Matt were still in front of the TV, their faces lit up like it was Christmas morning. I found Dan, whispering something to Lucy, who seemed to have arrived, at the back of the room. Dan was tall enough to see the screen but Lucy jumped up onto Ashley's back. I was conscious of Max next to me but wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment.

Josh had sent me the video when their director was done with it last month, and I’d watched it a million times by then and even shown it to our Film Studies teacher. It seemed to put me in his better favour after the whole school trip incident.

“Good camera work.” Elissa’s voice started me just as the shift in weight in the cushions almost sent me toppling. She and Erin caught me before I had the chance to fall. Erin leant forwards on Tom’s shoulders.

“Thanks.” I laughed and looked back to the TV. I smiled every time a shot I’d taken came up on screen, a thrill of excitement teasing me internally. My boys were on TV! Their music video was on TV! The pride was indescribable. I squeezed Dan’s shoulders when he came to watch in front of me and Max. I could feel the cushion under my feet start to vibrate as Max got more and more excited.

There were a collective laughs around the room every time Max and Ashley showed off on screen. Memories flooded my memory – it had been a good night.

“To far save it for the bedroom.” The room started to sing with the guys. I squealed and joined in, Dan lifted me up onto his shoulders and we made our way forwards towards the rest of the guys, Max behind us. Emily and Summer, who were near the front, got lifted up by the very attractive guys they must have been on about. I high fived them both as we carried on singing at the top of our lungs. When the last beat sounded, the room erupted. I cried with happiness, high fiving Matt, Chris and clinging onto Josh’s raised hand.

We were swamped by everyone as everyone tried to congratulate the lads. The music started back up again, pounding in my ears, just about drowning out the cries around us. Matt and Josh helped me down from Dan’s shoulders so he could talk to his mates. In the high of the moment, I seized Josh by the front of his t-shirt and pulled him to me, giving him a huge enthusiastic kiss of congratulations.

I jumped up and down, completely and utterly happy but froze when I saw the look on Max’s face - he looked like I’d felt when I’d walked in on Terri and Josh. With a kick to the gut, I turned my head to follow his gaze. Lucy, caught up in the throng of celebrating people, was wrapped around Ashley, his hands on her waist, their lips merged together.

Fuck.