The Best Is Yet to Come

“It’s beautiful,” Genna shouted over the thundering music. I was surprised the police hadn’t been called yet, then again, it was New Years Eve. The music was blaring out of the local rugby club that was situated best for everyone we knew. The floor was shaking. I could feel the bass thunder through my bones the same way it did at the guy’s gigs.

I automatically reached up to my neck, patting on the necklace that proudly hung there and grinned at her compliment.

“Thanks,” I shouted back, sipping at my vodka induced coke. Dan and Charlie who looked 18 had been buying us drinks all evening.

“I can’t believe we haven’t been introduced to Charlie sooner!” Amelia hissed in my ear, putting her drink and purse down on the table next to me and slipping into the chair. Even now, her eyes were glued to his leaning frame on the bar. I turned to look at him and tilted my head to admire. He was alright but he seemed to have developed over the year, had he been working out? I could see what she was getting at.

“He’s fucking fit,” Genna mouthed in agreement.

“And his rugby mates,” Charlotte snickered into her glass. “Remember last week when they were all out, off their faces?”

“Too vividly,” I said, wrinkling my nose at the memory. What a fun boxing day that had been.

“You didn’t shut up all night when you stayed down mine!” Nadine complained with a laugh. Charlotte looked completely offended and a bit confused. “We were up all night listening to you describe their fucking ‘fit’ arses all night. You even had a scale.”

“No, no,” I quickly said, raising my hand between them to pause Nadines. “That was the sleepover from the other night, cause then she started comparing it to Genna’s brothers…?”

“Oh yeah!” Nadine grinned, shooting a sideward’s glance at a glaring Genna.

“Why don’t I rememeber-”

“Cause you were off your face on both occasions, you’re a wonderful drunk by the way Char, so glad we got you all that alcohol for Christmas.”

“Oh fuck off,” she snapped, but then smiled at her best friend. She shifted to get a better look at Charlie with Amelia, who’s eyes were now glazed over.

“Day dreaming?” I asked her.

“Pfft, I’m planning,” she said evilly, her eyes glinting as she assessed her prize.

“Well have fun with that,” I said, downing the rest of my drink.

“Jasey, baby.”

“Maxy darling!” I cried, noticing Max for the first time. When had he arrived?

“I have a surprise for yooooou,” Max added, once he’d let go of me from a tight hug, stinking of smoke and alcohol. Ehh, I was pretty much the same.

“What?”

Then someone grabbed me from behind, snaking their way around my waist, pulling me to their chest, their cold lips pressing to my heated neck. I gave a start, but I could smell him before I could see him. That sweet, sweet aftershave. He was home.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered in my ear.

“Bit late,” I said, grinning, slipping around in his grasp to face him. “I think ‘Happy New Year Jasey’ is more appropriate.”

His thick eyebrows dipped ever so slightly, his blue eyes slightly put out as his bottom lip jutted out absently. I curled my fingers through a tuft of his soft brown hair and grinned.

“Oi!” he defended. “I got you your present on the day didn’t I?”

I let out a long dramatic sigh, beaming at him.

“I suppose so,” I added theatrically. His eyes flickered to the necklace around my neck before he swept me off my feet in an ecstatic kiss.

“Welcome home,” I whispered to him when he’d put me down and together we went to join the others.

***

“You’re late,” Ashley whispered to me as I came skidding through the door, blinded by the whiteness of the room and stunned by the loudness of the completed version of ‘If I Were In Your Shoes’. The band were filming.

“I know,” I hissed at him, a few of the crew from the video shoot turned around to glare at me. “Got caught up shopping.”

I could see his eyes rolling.

“What are you doing here?” I snapped at him as a retort, slipping the gloves off my hands. Ash ha had been here when we filmed Save It For The Bedroom. He turned around to raise his eyebrows at me.

“Sorry?” he asked bitterly.

“Sorry,” I quickly mumbled. “Bad night sleep.”

I forced a smile. Lucy and Tom came through the door after me carrying a tray of coffees. I hadn’t seen anyone outside the band in weeks. I was shocked to see Lucy supporting a more natural shade of blonde than her normally bright red hair.

“Luce,” I smiled, gratefully taking a coffee off her. “Cheers. Loving the hair by the way.”

“They said you were turning up,” she whispered as she returned my smile. “And thanks.”

“Okay cut,” Lawrence Hardy shouted. I recognised him from filming their previous video. The guys stopped playing to the playback. Now I looked properly they were on this large circular platform. Weird.

“Can we take two secs?” Max asked, noticing me and slipping out of his guitar without permission.

“Coffee break,” Matt seconded, doing the same and jumping down from the platform. I smiled at my band but Josh didn’t look too happy.

“Sorry,” I said, handing him a coffee. “Got caught up with-”

“Genna and co, I gathered,” he grunted, grimacing at the coffee before taking a large gulp. He pulled a disgusted face that screwed up as a shiver shot down his spine. “Blecch.”

I pulled off the lid and sniffed at it.

“Sorry, mine,” I said suddenly enticed by the sickly sweet vanilla scent wafting up from my mistaken latte. I gave Josh the one I thought had been mine before he vanished to go and talk to the director.

“Fine,” I mumbled, sipping at my concoction and went to go talk to other people. The band seemed tired. Bored, probably, from filming over and over again, this was their first studio based video. They were bad enough when Tom forced them to sit still for photos. Max was the only one spurred on by the caffeine rich coffees that fuelled his sudden explosion of energy when they emerged from having their makeup re touched. Tom was holding a camera, capturing everything.

“Why’ve you got a video camera Thomas? Giving up the photography business?” I asked, curiously looking into the lens as if to see him through it. He dropped it to his side with a laugh.

“They asked me to film, I’m really loving it though, may branch out into it…”

“What for?”

“Oh, Bobby asked them to get some behind the scenes footage of their first video. And so does our mum,” he added, glancing at Matt who was perched on the edge of the constructed rotating thing absently plucking at his bass. He looked very bored and was watching Max running around.

“Guys get over here!” Tom shouted at the dismembered band. “I need like, two of you to talk to the camera about the new video.”

Josh automatically stepped forward, being the leader of this whole project. I realised there and then that if it wasn’t for Josh there wouldn’t be any You Me At Six. Dan and Matt exchanged a glance before Matt heaved himself up from the platform and joined Josh for the interview.

“Okay, small intro,” Tom said, lifting the camera and pressing it to his eye.

“Uhhhh,” Josh and Matt said, looking to each other for some small hint, and then Josh turned back to the camera.

“Welcome to the set of our new video, ‘If I Were In Your Shoes’,” Josh said as Matt gave thumbs up to the camera. Josh and Matt then continued to talk to the camera about filming whilst Tom quizzed them. The rest of us sat on the side, those not in the band sat against the back wall, watching. Chris, Dan and Max were talking to the director and helping to move equipment.

Just as I was beginning to catch up with Ashley and Lucy, Max suddenly ran full pelt towards us, his guitar raised, screaming his head off. We quickly realised he was aiming for the camera but it still caused everyone in the room to turn and look at him.

The day was long. They filmed a loads of different shots, from over head ones to close ups to slow motion takes. The room was starting to get warmer and warmer and the song was starting to take its toll on all of us. I wanted to rip it from the CD player by the end of the day.

One of the most interesting part of the day was when Max yanked down his pants, flashing his arse to the band as Dan was being filmed. We had all burst into fits of giggles.

Whist waiting for Chris to finish his close up shots, Matt sat down on the wheel as it rotated, reading Kerrang. Lucy then jumped up and joined him. The pair circled around again and again. This was the most entertaining aspect of my day. If you weren’t in the band, it was very dull. Even Tom who was filming got bored and started staring off into space for long periods of time.

Finally, it was a wrap.

***

Things weren’t right…

Things weren’t right at all. I didn’t like the way they sneered at each other, how they made faces after someone had said something, how none of them could stand to be in the same room. The other always made up an excuse to leave if the other was there. When had this happened?

I was talking about my friends. Things were fucked up between my friends. Dan was struggling as badly as I was.

My old friends and my new friends hated each other. What the fuck?

I hadn’t noticed it for a while.

First it had started as snide comments. Amelia and Genna bitched about Max’s weird hyper attitude, about Chris’ hair, about how Dan wasn’t really good enough for Abby (Abby had become a really good friend of theirs over the Christmas period and into the New Year). I wasn’t exactly pleased about these comments but I think I’d subconsciously blocked them out. Equally, Lucy and Josh had harshly commented about the change in Abby, about how they were slags, unable to understand how I could stick them. The comments became more and more frequent as we progressed into January.

Then they started avoiding each other. Josh or they guys had left my house on multiple occasions when Nadine or someone had turned up at my door. On the latest occasion, I saw the glares they gave each other. Fiona turned on the spot and left when they turned up at college to say hello.

Emily and Summer had made an excuse to leave me shopping when I’d told them the other girls were coming.

Whenever the other group was mentioned there were audible huffs, comments and cursing. I only managed to pick up on it when Matt and Genna had got into a full blown argument. It was over Henri’s. Matt had rolled his eyes and made a comment when Genna started into a minute by minute account of her weekend, that I didn’t one hundred percent believe about getting smashed, getting off with loads of boys and getting into the most exclusive clubs.

“What’s your problem?” she’d snapped at him after catching his whispering to Chris. Her nose had turned up at him, managing to look down at him despite her small stature.

“Nothing,” Matt had said calmly but through pursed lips. He’d lifted himself up off the sofa and headed towards the kitchen. “Just don’t want to listen to this bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” Genna had demanded, getting up off her chair.

“Don’t take it personally, I rarely believe any slags.” And he’d strolled out into the corridor. Chris and Max didn’t even bother to hide their snickering. In fact, they burst out into loud laughter at the look on Genna’s appalled face.

“What the fuck?” She shouted, following after him, looking so small in comparison.

“Ohh shit,” I sighed, getting up with Chris, Max and Athina.

“-I don’t actually give a shit, I am so fucking sick of your whiney voice,” Matt had snapped, turning to face her.

“How dare you! You fucking wrist cutter.”

Then I saw the division. It was like looking at the world from a whole new perspective. I sucked in a sharp gasp, but at my own realisation. The boys squared up at that point. The band and friends had taken up Matt’s side whilst my newer friends backed up Genna. How could I have not noticed the difference before?

The boys, with their long hair, dark band tops and large trainers contrasted so strongly against the brightly and provocatively dressed, fake tanned, heavily make up wearing girls. Lucy and Emily stood behind the guys, their dyed hair and eyeliner fitting them into the same category as them. It was Chavs vs Emos. The two didn’t click.

Athina, Booley, Henri and I were the only ones with a mixture of both. We stood in the middle, stunned.

“You’re so fucking queer,” Genna added, wrinkling her nose at Matt.

“Wow, the Barbie knows a clever word,” Matt had retorted with a snort. “Sorry Henri mate but I don’t really fancy sticking around, the fake tan stench is becoming overwhelming.”

And then they’d left.

I hadn’t kicked off then, feeling too shocked to actually find my voice to defend either side. Although, the next mention set my compressed confusion off into a sudden outburst.

“What the hell?” I’d shouted at Josh after he’d made a comment about me going to the cinema this weekend.

“You’re shouting at me?” Josh asked in utter disbelief, he stared at me from his bed, dropping his phone to his side. “Me?!”

“What’s your problem? It’s ridiculous!” I cried, pacing back and for in front of his bed, running my hand through my hair and down the back of my neck.

“Jase, I’ve said this a million times, they’re not good people-”

“You love Athina! And your best friend is dating one of them!” I shouted over his calm reasoning, coming to a halt in front of him.

“Yes, I do love Athina, she isn’t like them at all, if anything she reminds me of you. And I think you mean our best friend,” he hissed quietly, heavy meaning in his bitter tone.

My mouth fell open and a strange strangled noise escaped my throat.

“Our best friend,” I repeated quietly after a moment, stunned I hadn’t said it in the first place.

“He’s not worthy of being your best friend anymore? They’ve taken his place?” Josh argued, sitting higher up on his bed to shout better.

“What? No! I didn’t mean-”

“Forget it,” he snapped and looked down at his knees. I knew he wanted to say more, I could see it in his steadying breaths, his clenched fists, his pursed lips.

That was our first proper argument and I knew they were going to get worse.

***

“He can’t stop me,” I argued, wrapping my coat tighter around me as I tittered down the wonky street in my Christmas present heels. “And I don’t care that I’m going to get shit for this.”

“Good on you Jase,” Amelia agreed, slipping her arm through mine to stop herself from falling over. “It should be fun.”

“Sure you can get us in Gen?” Nadine asked sceptically, keeping an eye on her feet, wrinkling her nose at the cobbles.

“The owner’s my dad’s mate, easy peasy,” she said confidently, flicking her curled hair over her shoulder as she strutted confidently down the street.

The club wasn’t too far off. The music was muffled but the strong dance beat was like a calling. The steady fast rhythm was soon a leader for my heartbeat.

“Underage,” I muttered, a tad worried.

Abby laughed lightly and slipped her hand through my other arm. “It’ll be fine, you look about twenty.”

I grimaced. Josh’s shouts echoing in my head as we made our way forwards.

“THIS ISN’T YOU.”

“Isn’t me?” I had argued back.

“Isn’t you,” he’d repeated, shaking his head, the look of disappointment heart wrenching.

It was never the shouting that scared me or the look of anger on his face. That look in his eye, the blue dulled as he lost his spark. I wasn’t used to those eyes – it was horrible.

I knew he was concerned. Booley’s party and the incident with the druggies had ignited some kind of jealousy in him. Other guys wanted me. Other guys would try it on with me and that was killing him.

‘He’s in a fucking band’ I kept telling myself. I was going to have to deal with that every day of my life. Girls were going to want him.

As the music grew louder, the chatter of people, the argument and the image of Josh began to fade like someone was drilling it out of me.

We got in straight away.

The lights flashed widely as the chavy remixes blasted my ears until I couldn’t hear what anyone was saying. The room was slick and modern, the bar highlighted with neon lights and unique looking stools. Cocktails, exotic looking drinks and colourful shots littered the bar to give it a more intriguing look. The booths were sealed off individually for some form of privacy. The dance floor was packed with grinding and bumping people.

Maybe this wasn’t my scene. It didn’t feel… right. Maybe was too young for it all…

Or maybe the argument from earlier was just raining on my parade.

We danced, loads. My feet were killing me after half an hour and I retired to a booth to numb my feet by doing a round of shots. That was my theory at least. It didn’t really work so I spent most of the time resting my aching feet.

My hand often drifted in and out of my purse, keen to see a ‘forgive me’ text. Maybe I should make the first move…

“The boy completely dominates your life,” Nadine snapped in a slur, snatching my phone out of my hand, her plastic fake nails scraping against my skin. She glared at my phone. “Stop worrying! You need to learn to enjoy yourself Jasey!”

My defence died inside me and I let her pocket my phone. I snaked my hands around my aching neck and played with the hairline of my hair. I groaned and then looked up at Nadine who was staring over my head. Her eyes were hazy, she was steaming! But she was watching something with an expression mixed of smugness and delight. There was a hint of an evil mastermind, whose plan had gone right for once, in her eyes. In confusion, I turned my head to look over my shoulder.

Why hadn’t I expected to find what I saw?

It was like a performance of a play that I’d seen over and over again, but with a new cast. This happened way too often. It had happened to me, to Max, and now Dan…

***

I couldn’t sleep, despite it being three in the morning. Nadine and Abby were crashed on the floor, still wearing their makeup and dresses.

I was sitting on Genna’s windowsill, smoking. I stared out into the quiet night, thinking. The sky was thick of clouds, putting a heavy claustrophobic feel on the small street. I didn’t feel I could breathe. I took a long drag then exhaled out the window. This was not calming me. What did I do?

“You cant’ tell him.”

The cigarette slipped through my shaking hands and out the window.

“Shit,” I cursed in a hiss before turning to look at Genna. Her and Amelia were sitting up on her bed, watching me intently. I couldn’t really see them properly.

“Why not? She cheated on my best friend,” I retorted, pulling another fag out of my pack and lighting it quickly.

Amelia got up and crossed the room, carefully stepping over the bodies on the floor. Her face was unreadable as she finally came into the orange glow of the street lamp. She didn’t say anything but jerked her head towards my pack asking for one. I threw it at her, tapping on the end of my fag so the ash slowly floated down to the ground below. I watched it as she lit one up.

“It’ll crush him,” she reasoned, leaning on the sill with her elbows and looking out into the night. “You don’t want to crush him do you Jasey?” She still didn’t look at me.

“Abby didn’t mean it,” Genna chipped in, her voice sickly sweet, as if her throat was doused in honey.

“She was drunk, it was a mistake.” Amelia shrugged, watching her smoke as it vanished into nothing. “They shouldn’t break up over a mistake. Dan’ll be distraught won’t he?”

“Abby’s your best friend too,” Genna added before I could reply. I opened my mouth to answer but Amelia cut across me before I could breathe to speak.

“You’d fuck up their relationship on a mistake?”Amelia finally looked at me. Her eyes were cold and sceptical; both her smudged eyebrows were raised in a disapproving scorn.

I held her gaze for while. Abby’s drunken snores echoed softly through the room. I didn’t reply as looked back out of the window taking a long drag.