The Best Is Yet to Come

“Woah!” Several people shouted at once.

Someone helped me out of the pool and into someone else’s hands. People taller than me with male frames blocked my view of what was happening. Max had me shoulder width apart so he could examine my face. His forehead creased with worry as he examined my cheek. Katie winced at the sight of me. I shivered violently as the wind tortured the cold watery layer I was drenched in. The air seemed harsher as I sucked it in rapidly – it burned my lungs. I coughed several times and had to double over when I couldn’t breathe. Blood dotted the patio floor.

“You got a problem kids?” I heard Alex shout at who ever was opposite.

“Yeah, you ain’t meant to be here.” That was Matt. I tore away from Max and looked over what ever was happening. I peered through the gap between Alex and Matt. Several other of their friends were standing with them. They looked pretty intimidating to the Year 11’s posing with fake ‘hardness’. Nia was standing with her hands on hips looking smug – it had been her. I pressed my hand to my cheek – blood.

“What you’re going throw us out?” one of the boys sneered. Several of the ones on my side stepped forwards. I saw a few chests puff up indignantly.

“Don’t!” I called over the music at the row of college boys. I bent over to cough again. “Just leave it.”

Alex turned to look around at me in disbelief. His lips separated when he caught sight of my face and he turned back angrily to the crowd in front of him.

“Come on Jasey, let’s get you inside,” Max whispered in my ear and put his arm around my shoulder. I wanted to stay and stop any of them from making a mistake but the shivers that violently convulsed my body along with the amount of blood I was spitting out had me following Max back inside the house. I went back inside to the sweaty warmth and those in the kitchen fell silent. People were taking notice of the problems happening outside and pushed past us to get there.

“Fuck, what happened?” The shock in Josh’s voice convinced me he knew nothing of what had just went down outside. I refused to look up at him as Max lead me to a seat.

“Your girlfriend,” I muttered and wiped the blood from my lip onto the back of my hand. My head was throbbing, my cheek stung and the blood in my mouth was forcing me to feel really sick. I still couldn’t breathe properly – chlorine water was burning my throat and lungs. I coughed several times. Katie fetched me a kitchen towel and some tissue.

“You better go save her. I think a fight’s about to break out,” I snarled and glanced down at the tissue in my hand. Josh glanced over his shoulder and out the window at the dividing line.

“Are you alright?” Max bent over, resting on his knees, to look into my eyes.

“Yeah,” I muttered and dabbed the tissue to my lip. “Please go stop them from doing anything stupid Max.”

He nodded and hurried back out the back door with a swarm of other people.

“Go on!” I spat when Josh didn’t move. “Go fucking save your baby.” More word vomit. “Or are you too much of a coward to protect the whore of the school who’s so easy she doesn’t give a fuck about what she’s fucking?”

Josh’s genuinely concerned expression dipped into one of anger. His fists clenched irritated as he stormed out the back door. Alcohol wasn’t a good thing for me – it made me say things I shouldn’t. Katie had vanished to go and fetch me some proper towels. She returned with them and the birthday boy. He glanced nervously out of the window as he handed me the towels.

“I’m so sorry,” I cringed as I wrapped it around me. I was creating a little puddle under the seat.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He smiled at me briefly before vanishing out the back door. I got to my feet and followed after him. I clutched the warm blue towel around me tights as I stepped out the back. There was still the tension of a fight in the air. I was pleased to see Max, Matt, Chris and Josh standing between the two lines, clearly unsure where they wanted to belong. Max and Matt were talking to Alex in the middle trying to calm him down. Josh had his back to them both, facing his year and talking rapidly to a sulky looking Nia.

Alex’s eyes traced over me when I stepped out and I shook my head at him. I nodded towards the front door asking if we could just go home in a single glance. His jaw tightened briefly before he nodded. I smiled weakly at him.

We left the party with a brief apology to the birthday boy. Max, Matt and Chris all saw me off to check that I was okay. I had a strong comforting feeling I was getting my best friends back.

When we got in, my mother threw a fit at the state of me. I explained and she wanted to ring the police. I contemplated the idea briefly but told her no – we were kinda even now... She’d done a lot worse to me physically and emotionally but I didn’t want to prolong this war. Alex made sure I was alright before he was picked up by his brother. The shock had kind of sobered me up so I climbed the stairs with miserable grace. I locked myself in the bathroom to get a good look at my face for the first time.

I looked okay, a little bit of dried blood down my cheek and neck. I had a cut going across my cheek, my lip was swollen and I had a growing bruise on my forehead. Ouch.

I showered and went to bed with wet hair not really thinking about much. I was too scared to think about the events of the evening. I lay down on my comfy covers and stared up the white ceiling, my head hurt too much for me to think straight and I soon drifted to sleep. Glad to have best friends back, bar one or two…

We finally hit the summer holidays. It was nice to kick back and relax in my own back garden with Alex and Katie, spending evenings out with my friends around the local town and sleeping in as late as I wanted. Thankfully my parents had no plans for the summer so Erin and I were free to do as we pleased. I was proud of her. She’d actually studied, completed her exams and earned her wild summer off.

I still got to see the Max, Matt and Chris but apparently they were all really busy with band practice. Josh had come up with some new material that they had to develop together. They always looked uncomfortable talking about the new songs he’d come up with.

“So how’s it going?” I leant back into the wooden chair and lifted my chin towards the sun. It was a few weeks into the holidays and my parents had decided to throw a little barbeque in our back garden. Alex’s older brother, Sean, was there talking to Erin and her friends. Katie’s mother and father were chatting with my own at the barbeque. Max, Matt, Chris, Joe and Alex had all been invited at my own personal request. Max’s parents had been invited too – they were becoming good friends with mine. A few other members of my family, neighbours and parent’s friends filled the rest of the garden and house.

Matt looked down at his cup before answering.

“It’s going good actually,” he said and leant back into the sunlight too.

“You guys getting yourself a manager or agent or whatever?” Alex asked, one arm around me and the other raising the cup of lemonade to his lips.

“Trying too,” Chris sighed. Matt glanced at him and smiled awkwardly.

“Yeah, well we’ve gathered some interest on MySpace, a load of friends and we’ve been invited to play a few gigs over it.”

“Oh yeah, we did this awesome one at a sixteenth birthday back in February. This girl contacted us and since then we’ve had loads of requests.” Max looked rather smug as he shoved the hot dog into his mouth.

“So you’ve got some interest, a name, an EP, a MySpace, some photos and you’re still recording some songs. You need a manager slash agent, maybe some press, an album, a video, some crew, a bus to get around-”

“And a shit load of money,” Matt added with a laugh.

“True,” Max mused with defeated shrug.

“Maybe get some merch going? Or start selling the EP at the gigs you’re asked to play,” I suggested. Merch… I wondered what their stuff would look like. I visualized a million t-shirt designs with the words ‘youmeatsix’ emblazed across them. The boys had opted to turn their logo into one word coloured alternatively to separate the words - I’d seen it on their MySpace.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, we’re going have to make some dosh if we want to get anywhere,” Chris traced his finger of one of the patterns on the wooden surface.

“You could do it on pure talent,” I reassured, feeling super cheesy when the words left my mouth. Oh so what, they were the truth.

The boy smiled at me before my dad brought around a fresh batch of burgers.

***

I could hear the argument before I saw it.

“He’s being so stupid! That was way out of line!” Matt shouted at a disgruntled looking Max and Chris. They were both sat against the park fence with Matt pacing in front of them, fuming. “There is no way she deserves that.”

“Deserve what?” I asked and pushed the metal gate open. The boy’s glanced at each other, Matt closed up completely and looked awkwardly at the floor.

“It doesn’t matter,” Max called over at me and gestured for me to join them. He turned back to Matt whilst I made my way over. “Look there’s nothing more we can do. We’ve told him what we think. It’s up to his own conscious now.”

I sat down on the swing nearest them and frowned to suit my first question.

“What is going on?”

Matt sank down the climbing frame and onto the tarmac staring at his Vans.

“We snapped at Josh,” Chris informed me in a tired tone.

“Ohh, what did he do?”

Chris and Max their heads to stare at me in disbelief. Matt just shook his head with closed eyes.

“He did something that’s probably best you don’t find out. If decides to use it then fine, he’ll regret it but that’s his decision. After the party, we really don’t things can go on like this much any more.”

“Use what?” I demanded stubbornly.

“You really don’- Just leave it Jase, trust me.” The firmness in Chris voice sent a shiver down my spine. What had he done now? Another song? God I hoped not – I knew it would be full of hate. My lips that were ready to ask another question fell onto each other in a pout. I gently pushed against the floor and the swing rocked back and for gently.

“Who’s side are you on?” I asked quietly whilst staring intently at the broken, worn tarmac.

“We’re not on any side,” Max sighed. “Not really. But after the party where the little bitch beat you up something had to be said.”

“Hopefully he’ll listen; he seemed to be a little bit resentful before we left band practice.” Chris twisted his fingers in the grass until he sized a chunk and pulled it from the ground.

“Ohh,” I said quietly. Yet again I was causing tension in the band. When things were… my fault? Were they? I shook the thought from my mind. I was too stubborn for my own good. “Wait, you guys don’t like Nia?”

Three of them laughed darkly and looked over to me.

“No, she’s selfish, controlling and a complete whore,” Matt snarled in disgust.

“And after what she did to you? Ha, no…” Max finished for him. I smiled at the three of them to show my thanks.

“We’re going to put a stop to this,” Chris said securely and for some reasons, I believed him…

***

Alex pressed his warm lips to the nape of my neck, handed me the cold well decorated glass before falling into the seat next to me. I was loving my summer – it was a shame it was almost over. The weather wasn’t too bad this year, with lots of sunny days and warm evenings. It was gorgeous. We had one week left before we had to go back to school.

“Wow,” I commented with great appraisal as I examined my drink. It was lemonade mixed with Bacardi and cranberry juice. It was served in a high ball glass with perfectly sculpted ice stacked all the way to the top. Two pink straws stuck out from the top along with a matching umbrella that hung over the rim weighed down by two glacier cherries. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Alex pulled his shades back over onto his nose and sunk down into the lounger.

I stared up at the sky overhead that faded from a brilliant blue through purple, pink and to a glorious orange – it was really stunning. I curled my legs up onto the lounger as we watched the sunset in my own back garden.

“Jasey,” Erin called through the open back door.

“What?” I shouted back, my voice not hiding my irritation.

“You’ve got a visitor,” she yelled at me, refusing to come outside to physically fetch me. I groaned and got to me feet muttering, “I’ll be right back,” to Alex. I stepped into the shady house and had to squint in the contrasting darkness. My bare feet felt dirty as they walked over the linoleum. Sean was sitting on the sofa as I passed and Erin returned to join him. They had a real thing going on. Was that weird? Two brothers with two sisters? Sean was the total opposite to Erin but yet they seemed to fit together perfectly. Well as they say – opposites attract.

I turned to the corridor leading to the front door and I smiled at the impatient Max in the door way.

“Hey Max,” I greeted as he glanced over my shoulder.

“Good, he’s not here,” he muttered and bounced up and down on the spot.

“Do you wanna come in?” I asked warmly but he shook his head, still moving edgily.

“Can’t, I’ve really got to go, I just wanted to drop something off.” He handed me a CD in a see through case.

“Thanks…” I took it from him and tilted my head to read the writing on it - ‘The Liar And The Lighter’. “Cheery. Is this one of yours?”

“Yeah, look, promise me the first time you listen to it, you won’t listen to it in front of Alex?” He glanced nervously down at he disk in my hand and seemed like he was almost regretting handing it over. His head turned to look over his shoulder at the car waiting for him.

“But why?” I examined the disk, turning it over in my hands.

“Just promise me,” Max insisted quietly, staring at me intently.

“Okaaaay,” I said slowly, feeling the crease in my forehead.

“Good, thanks, I’ll see you soon yeah?” Max retreated down my garden path hastily. He paused and almost tripped over his feet he was in such a hurry. He turned back to look at me.

“Oh, my parent’s are having a party sort of things on Saturday. Your sister and folks are invited too. Oh! And tell Alex!”

“Okay,” I said again and watched him get in the car. I closed the door and looked back down at the CD in my hand. Why…? I shook the thought from my mind when I heard approaching footsteps, I dropped the CD onto the stairs and met Alex half way in the kitchen.

“Who was it?” He wrapped his arms around my waist the exact moment I wrapped mine around his neck.

“Just Max inviting us around his on Saturday.” I smiled and lifted up onto my tiptoes to kiss him.

***

I patted the case of the disk against my hand several times wondering if any good could come from listening to the song. He said that I shouldn’t listen to it with Alex, hmm…

Curiosity got the better of me and I slotted the CD into my laptop. I waited it to for whirr into life in my ancient machine. I curiously wondered if I would be able to listen to Josh’s voice without wanting to throw my computer out the window. I loved my laptop – I knew it inside out but it was getting rather slow. I could do this. I double clicked on the file when it popped up and waited with baited breath.

I pushed the machine away from me and got up to walk around my room. I was surprised when the sounds of an acoustic guitar kicked in, Josh’s voice kicked in almost straight after and I stopped pacing.

“Well have some heart and hold it to your chest,
We weren't in love we were too young,
We throw our words around as if they were not gold, well they are,”

My first reaction was – the lying filthy scumbag. Why the fuck had Max given me this fucking CD? Why would I want to hear Josh write about Nia? But then the next lines cooled my boiling blood.

“Oh maybe some day I will be something more,
Real with arms and legs so I can walk away and stay away forever and some more, some more.”

What? I stared at the back of my laptop unable to move.

“I’ll stick around to watch this town fall down to its knees,
You can pray the day that you hope is coming around real soon,
I will run and stay away in a place that I don't know well of,
You can choose a different sun you will soon love.”

The song was confusing me. What was he…? Who was he…? Gahh! I threw myself back onto the bed and turned my laptop around to face me.

“Well here are the reasons that hurt me the most,
Call of the search I'm coming home.”

I turned over onto my back to stare up at the ceiling, frowning with deep concentration, trying to decipher his words.

“People lie once but not on the third,
Not without reason, not for a girl,
The names will vary, the names they may change,
But the game, the game it stays the same,
We'll love, we want the ones that we will grow to hate, to hate.”

My throat closed up uncomfortably and my heart stammered. Was that me?

“Its just so ohh no-o, ohh no-o ohh no-o n-noooo, ohh no-o n-nooo ohhh.”

I smiled ever so faintly.

“Well maybe some day I’ll deserves something more,
A home in which I will turn to grow,
A plant, the seed so we can become something more, something more.”

Awww. I couldn’t stop the wave of sympathy that passed over me. I clenched my fists and fought guilty tears. Why did I do this? Why did I cause the boy pain? Josh was such a good writer, his words were so complex and deep and meaningful. Wonderful.

“Stick around to watch this town fall down to its knees,
You can pray the day that you hope is coming around real soon,
I will run and stay away in a place that I don't know well of,
You can choose a different sun you will soon love.”

I turned over when I thought the song had ended to replay it, but it carried on.

“Oh here are the reasons that hurt me the most,
Call of the search she's coming home,
People lie once but not on the third,
Not without reason, not for a girl.”

The guitar strummed a few times signalling the end of the song as Josh’s final note died out. I stared at the screen with glazed eyes, I wasn’t seeing it at all, my mind was too far away to notice anything. Words replayed over and over in my head. Key lines sticking out as I tried to put pieces of the puzzle together.

What? What? What? WHAT?!

I finally blinked and more or less attacked my laptop in my attempt to replay the song. I bounced off the bed and to my feet, repeating the words as they came.

Josh had told me before that aspects of ‘Noises’ had been exaggerated. It tried to keep that in mind because there were so many conflicting ideas to me.

It wasn’t a love song, so I deduced it wasn’t about Nia, it was more… sad.

“We'll love, we want the ones that we will grow to hate, to hate.”

That was me, right? He wanted the one he was hating. That actually stung really bad but I took it as a good thing. One question that bothered me. Did I want Josh back? Not with the slag on his arm, but Josh… yeah. I missed my best friend like fuck. We’d both done things wrong and there had been harsh casualties on both sides. We’d been friends for so long. Did we want to throw that away on something so stupid? It had taken me this long to realise that the mistakes that Josh had made had no excuse for my actions. He’d apologised and stepped up to the mark when I’d needed him. Why couldn’t I just grow up and get over the complexities blocking our long lasting friendship.

“I will run and stay away in a place that I don't know well of,
You can choose a different sun you will soon love.”

I stood there turning the words over and over in my head. What was he saying? He would stay away if that’s what it meant?

No. That couldn’t be it. He was speaking of the present despite the use of the future. He was in a place he didn’t know well of, a place he wasn’t completely comfortable with.

Was it? Oh I hated the boy’s complexity!

One line rang through my ears as I sat back down on the bed, a series of different emotions battling through me. – “Call off the search, I’m coming home.”

***

My fingers raked through my hair several times pushing it out of my face as I sat with my feet up on Max’s wooden chair. I felt a faint numbing pain where my knees were pressed up against the table but I wasn’t concentrating on it – I was staring blindly at the bubbles fizzing in my coke.

By now I’d listened to the boy’s new songs a thousand times over – I knew it word for word with flawless timing. It was the most played thing on my iPod. I was too much of a coward to face the boy I wanted to see most alone so I'd decided to wait until Saturday where I hoped he’d show.

I finally pushed away from the table and got up to stretch my numb legs. Max’s garden was relatively full. Max’s college friends, the Helyer family’s friends, all our friendship group’s parents and siblings were all there. What amazed me were that people were still arriving! Max’s garden was much bigger than mine so it could accommodate more – the Helyer’s had gone all out for their bash. Good food, good drink, good music and good company.

I wasn’t totally sure if the Franceschi’s would be attending. I knew they were really close with the Helyers and there was no way Josh’s mother would let him slip away from this. Matt and his family was yet to arrive along with Alex, Sean and Katie. Alex hadn’t listened to the CD Max had given me yet but I didn’t think it was for the best – he might decipher the words in a way that would give Josh a black eye.

Erin eyed me carefully as I walked over to the patio doors and back again pressing my hands into my back and stretching backwards.

“What’s up?” she asked when I started to press my fingers together and subconsciously click them. I scratched my sweaty palms with my thumbs and bit my lip. I turned to face her.

“Hmm?” My lip was still held down by my teeth.

“You, you’re just not with it,” she commented with a raised pierced eyebrow.

“I am fine,” I said automatically and looked around the buzzing garden. The sun was starting to make a path down the sky towards the hills. It was boiling. I pulled on the neck of my t-shirt in the attempt to cool myself. I crossed the garden to sit back down by Erin in the shade.

“You hate sunlight,” I realised with a slight laugh. Erin was the palest person I knew. She just chuckled and kicked her feet up onto a nearby chair. Even in this heat she was still wearing her dark skinny jeans.

“I don’t like heat.” She pushed her sunglasses up her nose and sunk more into her seat. I snatched my coke from across the table and took a large gulp. The bubbles tickled my nose.

“So why are you stressed?” Erin was persistent.

“I’m not-”

“Oh just spill,” she groaned without looking at me. “I’m your sister don’t insult me.”

“I think Josh is coming,” I muttered quietly, surprised how nervous I actually was about facing him under these new circumstances. I’d figured out so much the past few days.

“Oh…” Erin sat back up and lifted her glasses off. She looked around the garden. “Well we’ll just avoid him all evening.”

“No,” I said more firmly than I felt. Erin looked at me in surprise. “I want to see him, I need to see him.”

“Who?” Chris sank onto the seat next to Erin.

“Your mum,” Erin muttered with a wink and placed her glasses back on. I rolled my eyes - I hated the comeback that was starting to come into fashion.

“Chris, thank God. I needed to speak to you before I make an idiot of myself.” I leant over Erin to talk to him.

“What’s up?” He asked cautiously – obviously alarmed by my paranoid expression.

“That new song, what’s it about?”

Comprehension flashed briefly over his face and he relaxed into a relieved look.

“Oh that.” Then he just shrugged as he thought about it. “I’m not sure. Josh didn’t say. We all reckon it’s got something to do with what’s been going on. He obviously listened to us after the other day.”

I sank back into my seat with similar relief. Thank God.

“I’m not the only one then,” I muttered. “My first thought was that it was about skanky face.”

“Wait…Didn’t you hear? They broke up,” Chris informed me. I didn’t miss the pleased smile that flickered across his face. I literally froze in my seat. Erin tense a bit and sat up at the sound of new gossip.

“What?” I said through shaking lips. I couldn’t accept this news as much as I could accept it when I’d found out they were going out. They’d broken up?!

“When?” Erin asked in disbelief before I could.

“When what?” Matt collapsed in the seat opposite me. I jumped at his quiet arrival and both Erin and I turned to glare at him.

“Josh and Nia,” Chris explained to him as if it was nothing.

“Ohh…” Matt said with comprehension and sank down into his seat.

“Shush Barnes!” Erin snapped before turning back eagerly to Chris. “When’d it happen?”

“Last week.” He recoiled away from both of us as we leant forwards gaping at him. “I thought you knew.”

“I haven’t seen anyone that would know!” I gasped and suddenly became very animated. I pressed my hand to my forehead and pushed my hair out of my eyes. I ran the moving hand down over my face where it lingered slowly pulling on my lower lip as I tried to grasp this news.

“What happened?”

“Well-”He stopped dead when he caught sight of something and leant backwards. I followed his gaze to the door that was wide open. Elissa was standing in front of it, looking around the garden when her eyes caught us around the table. It had been so long since I’d seen Elissa. She’d grown up completely. Erin was only a year younger than her but Elissa just looked so much more mature. She was a woman now.

I unconsciously smiled when she walked over to us. Her eyes lingered on me and Erin when she finally reached us.

“Hello,” she said cheerfully – evidently there was no tension.

“Hey,” Matt called from his completely relaxed position in the chair.

“Hi Liz,” Chris said warmly from across the table.

“Hey,” I squeaked. Elissa turned to look at me and smile sweetly.

“Hey, Jase, I haven’t seen you in ages.”

I seriously loved this girl. Elissa had to be the nicest person on the planet. A smile played on my lips as I responded with genuine affection.

“I know. It’s been too long.” Even I could hear the pining in my voice. I glanced nervously over her shoulder every few seconds because I knew I wasn’t going to gain one Franceschi without the other.

“My brother is an idiot,” she whispered to me and placed her hand on mine. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, this is as much my fault. I’m the one who walked away. I should have been a bit more mature.”

Elissa was the first person I’d voiced these thoughts to. I also realised it was in front of a load of my friends. Elissa pulled a sympathetic face and squeezed my hand gently. People were starting to reassure my guesses on the song. My flickering eyes paused on the figures of Mr and Mrs Franceschi as they walked over to greet the Helyers. Then Josh stepped out onto the patio with Max. Matt and Chris, who’d started up their own banter, fell silent. Elissa turned in her seat to see the distraction and turned back – her expression confirmed the awkwardness of the situation.

Max caught sight of us all and led a sheepish looking Josh over to the table. I didn’t know if he would look at me – because I wouldn’t look at him.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Matt demanded from Max.

“Socialising,” he responded snidely and sat on Matt.

“Oh mate!” Matt protested and shoved him off. We all laughed when Max lost his balance and would have landed on his arse if Josh hadn’t caught him. Max caught sight of Elissa and grinned widely.

“Elissa!” he settled for her lap instead and wrapped his arms around her neck. I expected her to throw him off in disgust but Elissa just played along, ruffling his hair.

“Lay off my sister yeah? That would be weird.” Josh’s voice sounded so force – it sounded broken, like he had a sore throat. The involuntary concern that washed over me controlled my gaze to lift to his face. I just caught his eyes before they flashed away quickly.

My fingers flexed, I clenched and unclenched my fists and dug my nails into the wooden surface. I picked up my glass and busied myself with it -just to give my hands something to do to stop them giving me away. I was so nervous. Why was this so hard?

Alex would be here soon. Alex was good at calming me but, right now, did I want him here? It would probably make this situation ten times worse. I looked over my glass at Matt who was watching me carefully. Erin and Elissa were also staring at me. I took a plentiful gulp of my coke and coughed back the sugary mixture when it burned the back of my throat.

My cheeks burned, despite being in the shade, when everyone fell silent. The rest of the garden was buzzing with mature light conversation. A heavier atmosphere hung over us – to dense it was crushing us all.

I took a deep breath and stood up.

“I need to talk to you,” I said very bluntly to Josh. It took him a moment or two to nod. He glanced at the entire table watching us eagerly and jerked his head towards the side of the house. I followed him, he opened the gate and we stopped just before the front of the house. We were still in the shade. I wanted to feel some warmth. I walked past him, switching our sides, and stretched my arm out into the rays of the sun. I turned my arm, watching the light reflect off my skin with mild interest. The heat of the sun was rather comforting. I closed my fist, let it drop back into the cold and turned back to Josh.

“Hi,” I said weakly.

“Hi,” he responded and slumped against the side of the house, kicking a stone against the fence opposite.

I wasn’t actually sure what to start. What was I trying to achieve here? Get my best friend back. Push everything that had happened behind us. We had both been as bad as each other. I had debated internally for hours if it was worth it after what Nia had done to me – I’d been beat up pretty bad. I still had cuts and bruises. Josh was more important – it hadn’t been his fault she’d done that to me, plus we were even, kind of. The thought of their break up lightened my mood slightly.

“I heard you broke up with Nia.”

Josh ran a hand over the top of his head, threading his fingers through his hair and ruffling it slightly. His lips curved up into an awkward grimace.

“Yeah…”

That seemed to be all I was getting without provoking. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and just smiled instead. I’d missed this boy. I whipped it off my face when I realised it would have looked harsh at the sound of the news.

“Why? What happened? You seemed happy with her.” I hated to admit it; I hated to say the words out loud. I would have never have thought Josh would get suckered into that crowd – that was the bad crowd, the wrong crowd. He cringed away and fell back against the wall again staring the stone he’d kicked.

“I- She…”He paused rethink his sentence. “I don’t want- It doesn’t matter- She was- Oh I missed you Jasey. No girl is ever worth that, especially after what she did to you.” His eyes flicked over my bruised temple.

All rational thought was erased from my mind. I pulled him from the wall, wrapped my arms around his neck and stood up on my tiptoes to bury my face in his shoulder. I wasn’t going to cry. Josh slid his arms around my waist and hugged me to him.

“God I’m such a fucking idiot!” I yelled into the soft material of his t-shirt. I moved my head down a bit when the strength in my toes slipped, forcing my forehead to rest on his shoulder. “I’ve been such a bitch to you! What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s taken me this long to realise my mistakes.”

“Jase, it’s okay.” Josh tried to tell me. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you that first day in school. I’m such a sucky friend.”

“Sucky?” I repeated with a chuckle.

“Oh shut up.” I could hear the sound of a laugh in his tone. “I’m sorry. I’m such a damn hormonal boy! I mean a girl was interested in me. The most popular one in school. It’s hard to explain…”

“Josh, you’re going to get a million girls after you! Half of them because of your band but there’s no avoiding that. Please tell me you do realise that Nia was the first of that list?” Again, my words were harsh but true. I wasn’t saying there was nothing appealing about Josh. He was gorgeous, just like the rest of his band mates, with a great personality. Well, when we weren’t fighting. “It’s the price of fame.”

Josh nodded in comprehension but his face conveyed the obvious wounding my words had caused.

“But the other half will fall in love with you because you’re attractive, funny, sweet, talented-” I shut my mouth quickly with an audible snap. My hand twitched, aching to cover my lips to stop anymore spilling out. “I-I mean-”

Josh’s eyebrows raised and smile tugged the corners of his mouth. He laughed at my babbling and pulled me back into a hug to erase the discomfort that was colouring my cheeks.

“The Liar and the Lighter set me off,” I whispered into the side of his neck.

“You listened to it then?” Josh asked and inhaled quickly, he held his breath waiting for my answer.

“Yeah, it’s really good. Nice turn for the band, it shows your versatility with different genres…” I trailed off in thought. We were both avoiding the serious subject of the song. Now was not the time. I wanted to bask in the happiness of finally being in the arms that I wanted to be. Through all the months of torture it seemed I only needed a hug off the right person to fix me.

“Oh Josh I missed you so much! I’m so sorry!” I breathed into his ear and squeezed him tightly. It felt so unbelievably good to say his name with no horrible sentence following it, to not say his name in fear or annoyance.

“Missed you too babes,” he said teasingly in my ear and I pulled away to grin. I took his hand and lead him back to the garden.

We rejoined the others where Katie and Joe had turned up. Alex arrived slightly later along with Sean who stole away Erin and Elissa. It ended up with the eight of us around the wooden table as the sun began to set.

Alex looked relieved and displeased when he’d first arrived. I was sat inches away from Josh, too scared to be too far away from him, so close I could feel the heat radiating from him. The sleeve of his t-shirt often brushed against my bare arm. Alex pulled up a chair on my other side trying to look expressionless over what had happened. He was evidently happened I was happy but upset for the reasons why.

The evening rolled on with flawless ease. It did seem like that half the year hadn’t happened. It felt normal – it felt right. It ended up sitting on the grass when the sun finally set covering Weybridge in darkness. I lay down on my back staring up at the cloudless sky and listened to the easy banter that passed between the eight of us. Alex, on my left, and Josh, on my right, didn’t talk to each other but they didn’t make the situation awkward either. I was proud of them. It seemed I was going to be able to enjoy the rest of my summer.