I Just Had to Lick the Cookie, Didn't I?

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real;
I wanna find something I've wanted all along,
Somewhere I belong...

I hate the world. I hate everything in it. That includes everyone. I hate my parents, my house, my life, my self. Anything worth hating is hated, except maybe my dog. HimI can love...

"Adriaan," My mother's voice was barely heard through my music. I like to drown out the world; I'm turning this up... "Look at me. Adriaan!" I always ignore them. This car ride was hell, ten hours trapped with them and no where to go.

"Adriaan, look at your mother." My father scolded. Like he's any better... "Damn it Adriaan, get out of the car!" Oh, when'd we stop?

Still ignoring them, I got out of our gay SUV. Unable to hear my parents' fight, I sized up our new house. At least it's in the woods. No one can see that we're rich. Don't get me wrong, it's not a huge ass mansion or anything like that, but it's fairly big. My dad's a lawyer, so he makes pretty good money. Mother used to be a kindergarten teacher, but she hasn't been working for close to a year now.

The playlist I was listening to ended, so I turned to face my parents, whom were arguing quietly. They noticed me and shut their faces. My mom plastered her fake smile on, again. Dad just crossed his arms with his angry face and baggy eyes. Both of my parents look terrible, complete with bags and tired expressions. They always look that way too.

"Don't you love it?" Mom asked with fake excitement. In case you haven't noticed, everything with her is fake; it's the only thing that holds her together: fakeness and the desperation to be back to normal.

"Whatever." I sighed. Just remember: I hate my parents. "Where's my room?" The sooner I'm away from them, the better. "And where's Leo?" Yes, my dog got the easy way out, he got shipped to Maine. However, I was forced to drive with them, lucky dog.

"That beast is at the kennel. I have to go pick him up tomorrow." What?! They sent Leo to a kennel?! What kind of people are they? I officially hate them more than I did twenty seconds ago, but Dad isn't going to get the satisfaction of me complaining. Incompetent ass of a father. Glumly, my father spoke again, "I need to go to the office and get settled. I'll see you later." He got back into the car and drove away. Mentally, I flicked him off. He deserves it.

"Your room is the second door to the right upstairs." Mother smiled. Stupid cheerful freak...

You know what? I want to kill my mom. She sends me through our new house to my room and what do I find? Yellow. Adriaan finds a bright yellow, sunny room. This makes Adriaan unhappy. Very unhappy indeed. Stupid mother... At least all of my stuff is in here.

"Do you like it?" She freaking came out of nowhere! What the hell?

"No, I don't like it." I turned to look at her disappointed face. As if I care...

"Well, the neighbors came over..." I've been up here for a while, just so you know. Now, what was this about neighbors?

"So?" Seriously, they're probably some old farts that bake lemon meringue pie every Sunday for the church get-togethers.

"They wanted us to come over for dinner." She answered shyly, she gets that way when she isn't trying to be happy: shy. "She seemed nice." Who seemed nice? Betty Crocker? I bet her cakes seem nice too, until they get you sick.

"Don't most old people seem nice?" I am definitely assuming they're old people. Why the hell would any youngcouple live here?

"She isn't old Adriaan. Caroline was very sweet, and it was kind of her to invite us to dinner. It turns out that her husband is the owner of Daddy's firm." Yes, my mother still refers to my father as 'Daddy'. I have a feeling she always will.

"Whatever. Does that mean they're rich? Because I really don't want to dress up." This always happens... Stupid rich people that are richer than me and have stupid parties...

"Yes. Your dress is in the closet. We're leaving at five." She turned and left, leaving me all by myself. Thank God. It's three now, I have two hours. Yes...

Sixty-three minutes later, I'm done in the bathroom. I took a nice long shower, and, no duh, it took me sixty three minutes. Now it's sometime after four, I have a few things to do. In my towel, I sat on my bed and combed out my hair. That only took twenty more minutes... For my mother's sake, I'll blow-dry it so I don't leave wet spots on my dress.

Time to get dressed in my 'little black dress'; something I didn't want to buy. I used to have a pink cocktail dress for all the parties we had to go to, but it got too big, way too big. Therefore, my mom made me buy a new one. I had hopes for the disposal of all dresses, but that isn't happening.

"Adriaan, it's time to go!" Stupid party. I snatched my iPod from the end table and ran downstairs. My mom was wearing her cocktail dress, which was a champagne color with a black ribbon around the waist. It looked good on her, but I would never tell her that. Let's face it, my mom is beautiful and I don't look like her at all. She has the pretty blonde hair and green eyes. The perfect tan and flawless smile. Where the fuck did I come from? Even her bags are gone because she's so god damn good with cosmetics. Stupid party.

"Can we go already?" I asked impatiently. She always does this: the stare and compliment. I've heard it enough to know she only wants me to feel good about myself. Like that will ever happen.

"You look beautiful honey. I love your new dress." Please, someone wipe that smile off her face before I suck it off with a vacuum.

"Let's. Go." I repeated hostilely. I'm always impatient for these things. I want them to end before they even start. You would too if you had to act happy for three plus hours.

We get to ride in my mom's SUV this time. What an upgrade. That got shipped too. Lucky car... As soon as my door was closed I plugged my iPod into the stereo. My mom hates that because she gets to listen to what I want, which she generally states 'makes her tense'. You would think that she realized by now that I don't care.

"Can't we listen to something else?" She asked after the five minute drive out of our driveway.

"No." And you know what I did? I turned it up louder. Take that! She sighed and gave up. Good choice, mother.

It took six minutes to drive to some giant gate. I assumed it was where we were going because eventually they opened and we drove down a stamped driveway. Pretty spiffy, and expensive. The house was fucking huge. Definitely huge ass. They had six cars, six! Each one of them wasn't exactly cheap-looking either. These people were loaded. This is one place I don't belong.