I Just Had to Lick the Cookie, Didn't I?

Sweeter than wine you are, you are
We've seen the dark of the night
Sun won't come shine some light on our lives
Milo's POV

I don't know if I'm going to be able to write this. It's humiliating...

Still, Matthew's a giant fucking bastard. I wish Hakim was here, he'd beat Matthew up for me. I wouldn't want to do it myself, I'd like to watch as he suffers.

Last night Matthew had a party. His parents are out of town until Sunday and he's changed. When I started liking him, he was so kind and thoughtful, but now that his cousin Greg has become some ridiculous popular ass, Matthew's wanted to prove something. He's become what he is and I officially hate him now.

Everyone was there last night. Well, everyone that Matthew thinks matters. He's ditched all of his old friends for his new ones. Sometimes I wonder why he still hangs on to me like he does. I'm no different from the others.

Matthew had always been my only friend, you know? I was really into riding and singing, I didn't have TIME for friends. Then when we got into high school we decided we'd try dating. It was working for a while, until he turned into a giant retarded fuck...

As I was saying, last night he had this party. There was drinking. Lots of drinking. Half of the kids were drunk, it was ridiculous. It made me sick, watching them all turn into monsters. I stood on the sidelines, all alone. Until Greg came over anyway.

Greg grabbed me by the arm and dragged me inside the house. I had been outside sitting on a bench in the garden, away from most of the guests. So, he dragged me inside where music was blaring and the air was hot. Eventually we met up with Matthew, and when I found out the asshole had been drinking I wanted to shoot him. I thought he was better than that. Then again, I've thought that Matthew was better than a lot of things...

Greg and Matthew exchanged some rather embarrassing words regarding the relationship Matthew and I had. They basically just talked about whether or not Matthew and I had taken our whole relationship 'to the next level', which we HADN'T. I didn't want to, and Matthew knew that. He's known that since before we even started dating. To tell you the truth, I was just embarrassed to. I mean, that sort of thing is really intimate, and it makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Anyway, Greg convinced Matthew that right then was the time. I was frozen, I couldn't even think. But Matthew obviously didn't care because he just nodded and then dragged me up to his bedroom.

"What the fuck!?" I shouted, nearly tearing Adriaan's notebook in half.

Rage was flaming inside of me, just about ready to explode and make me angrier than ever before. I swore on my life that I was going to hunt down that bastard and kill him if he did what I was thinking he did. There was more for me to read, but from the looks of it I was pretty sure I knew where it was going.

Growling, I decided that before I got ahead of myself I needed to find out the rest of what happened. So, I started reading again. Not very happily might I add.

I'm not going to go into detail because it still grosses me out.

I can remember the exact words I said to him. "This isn't right."

He obviously didn't care, but it's sort of my fault too isn't it? I mean, I never told him no. I never asked him to stop. Then again, I didn't do ANYTHING.

I hate myself. What the fuck am I thinking? He's a dirty rotten bastard and he had NO right to do that! He should be arrested! Why did I even GO to that party? I'm so depressed it isn't even funny, and not to mention no one even loves me anymore.

I told mother about the party yesterday. She honestly didn't believe me, which was ridiculous. She accused me of wanting attention. Seriously, why would I lie about that? And when my dad found out, he got really mad. He called Matthew over and they had a 'serious talk'. Matthew obviously denied what I accused him of, and they believed him over me because I'm apparently 'too fucked up'. It pisses me off.

Sometimes I just want to screw cutting my palm and just slice my arm wide open. Maybe I could just shove all of my pills in my mouth at once. I'm on three different medications, I'm pretty sure that would be enough to make the lights go out.

Word's gotten around about Matthew. Some people actually believed he HAD done it. Grandmother's pissed because she's always like Matthew. She thinks I've ruined his reputation, and she's promised to do what ever she could to clear this mess up.

Seriously, just whatever. I hate that woman. I hate my parents. I hate my family. I hate myself. I HATE EVERYTHING GOD DAMN IT! Why do I have to suffer like this and feel the way I do? It isn't fair. No one should have to go through this. They shouldn't have to feel this way.

You know what, I'm done writing down crap. I've discovered that everything that's happened thus far has been pretty shitty. Why would I ever want to look back on all of this? I'd have to be mental.

My hands were clenching onto the notebook. I slammed it closed and threw it on the floor. One way or another, I was going to wring Matthew Christians' neck. He wouldsuffer, he would feel the pain Adriaan felt, and he would definitely regret every screwing with her. That bastard was going to pay; big time.

I angrily got off of the bed and pulled my phone from my pocket. Before I dialed the number I wanted, I made sure Adriaan was asleep still.

"Merry Christmas unless you don't celebrate it! Hello?" Andrew asked from the other end.

"Andrew," I growled, not angry at him of course. "You like Adriaan, don't you?"

"Uh, yea. Why?" he asked unsurely. I clenched the hand that wasn't holding my phone into a fist.

"I need you to do something for me, regarding her."

"Sure. What is it?"

"I need you to fly to Rochester and find a kid named Matthew Christians. He's pretty cocky and arrogant. I doubt you could mistake him for anyone else..." I gritted into the phone.

"Do I dare ask questions?" he inquired thoughtfully.

"No," I spat.

"Alright then. What should I do when I find him? Are we taking up the act of whacking people? I always thought the Boones were better than the Mafia's form of justice..." Normally I might have laughed at his joke, but I was furious.

"No, I want you to bring him to me. Don't tell him anything at all. If he asks questions, ignore them. We'll be in with Gary until New Years Eve. Then we'll be in Miami."

"Alright. I'll bring him as soon as I find him," Andrew said. I sighed and then hung up the phone.

Andrew and I were friends. Sometimes. Other times we fought. A lot. However, we grew up together and we've bonded over the years, we would do anything for one another to this day...

While Adriaan slept some more, I took a shower. When I was done, she was still sleeping. So, I decided to watch those videos.

There were more than I remembered grabbing, but I planed on watching them all anyway.

Two were of Adriaan as a really little kid, and I have to admit she was really...um, cute. Yea. Anyway, there was another one of her 'growing up' basically. It was just a bunch of short clips through the years really. I saw Faith in a few as an infant, and Hakim---whom I am no longer jealous of because he's her brother and brothers deserve affection too. I should know, even though I hardly get shown affection...

Then there was that one of her riding, I got to watch the whole thing this time and boy was I impressed beyond all means. It was ridiculous, really. Plus there was a second video of her riding, which was also amazing... Seriously, I would have never guessed she was so into riding, and good at it too.

The last one had me curious before I put it into the player. So far I'd seen many sides of Adriaan, but I was hoping this wouldn't just be a repeat of everything I'd already seen.

Boy was I surprised.

When it started, I was slightly puzzled as to what was happening. Once the piano's introduction was over, I became even more confused. An absolutely wonderful sound accompanied the soft counter-melody of the piano and I had to blink a few times before realizing what it was.

Adriaan, my Adriaan---yes, the very same---was singing. SINGING!

To be completely honest, I was more than shocked, I was...nearly traumatized from the surprise of it.

I would have never thought that such a beautiful sound could be made from her. Sure I think, you know, that she's...um...you know, pretty? BUT, considering that the entire time I've known her she's been depressed and angry at the world, I didn't think that...it was possible. Don't get me wrong though! It's not like I think she doesn't deserve the voice or anything, I just... I don't even know what to say.

After that song ended, the screen took a second to switch to another place. Another piano introduction started, and I listened once more to Adriaan's voice. As that one ended, I heard a gasp from behind me.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Adriaan shrieked and before I even had a chance to look back at her, she was tumbling out of bed and lunging at the innocent television. Her body blocked the screen from me as she jabbed her finger at the power buttons on the DVD player and television.

Once everything was turned off, the room was silent, aside from her heavy breathing of course.

"What...were...you doing?" she asked, panting. I looked up at her innocently with a curious expression. "What's that look for?" she inquired harshly, but her voice sounded apologetic.

"I'm sorry?" I tried, not sure exactly what I was supposed to say. Adriaan sighed and came over to me. With another sigh she plopped herself down next to me.

"Please don't ever watch those again."

"Why?" I asked, perplexed. She was so talented; so gifted. Why would she not want people to hear?

"Because, first of all, I'm the worst singer on the face of the planet. Secondly, I'd rather not remember all of those things."

"Are you going to be like one of those annoying chorus girls, or do you honestly think that?" I asked her. If there's one thing I hate, it's people that say they're the worst singers and they're actually not that bad. They only say they're bad for attention.

"What? No! I--you have no idea. I don't think I'm that bad, I suppose I was being dramatic... I just have really low self-esteem and no confidence what so ever. I cried after every single one of those performances and I don't believe people when they give me compliments. They could be lying for all I know..." she blurted.

I chuckled at her.

"If it makes you feel any better, the only one of my vocal performances my mother recorded---it was the only one my parents attended---was my very worst. I threw up before and after my turn on stage." I can remember that day like it was yesterday...sort of. Turns out my mother and father showed up on accident. They'd gotten lost and it started to rain while they were headed towards Wayland's football game. I'm over it. They're my parents and no matter what mistakes they've made or what they've done to me, I'll always love them in some way or another.

Adriaan laughed and then stopped abruptly.

"Did you um...finish reading those...?" she asked quietly. I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Yea," I said, trying with all of my heart to keep the anger they had caused me to a minimum. After all, it wasn't exactly her fault I was angry, right? It was that stupid Matthew Christians. I swore I was going to kill him some day... Maybe not literally, but I'd kill him metaphorically. He'd wish he was dead.

We sat in a semi-awkward silence for a while until some random squealing started getting louder from in the hall.

All of a sudden there was pounding on the room door and the squealing was growing more and more excited. With a huff, I got up and walked over to the door. When I opened it, Gary ran inside, jumping up and down, squealing still.

"Oh my God!" he squealed, jumping and spinning in circles. Adriaan and I shared a look of confusion and fear. "There is this guy downstairs!' Gary gasped, still moving around. "He's here for Adriaan!"

My hand was still on the doorknob when Gary took a deep breath and stared straight at Adriaan.

"He says he knows you, but he won't say how. His name's Hakim Malik," Gary swooned over the name. My hand clenched the doorknob and Adriaan's eyes widened.

What's with the ironic coincidences?