In My Hands

“Hey Jimmy!”

My head jerked up and I looked around confused for a moment. I was lost trying to remember where I was. I had had another dream. I shuddered at the memory of it. “Why you yelling Johnny?” I asked cocking my head to the side.

“You’ve been staring at that damn wall for the past two hours man. You’ve got us all worried,” he admitted. I knew what it cost him to do that. Johnny had been slowly distancing himself from the rest of us over the last few months. We would have been blind not to see it. It hurt though, especially for me. He was my best friend. We were all family of course, but Johnny was the one that I had gone to when I had first started having the dreams.

I gave him a smile and a pat on the back. “I’m sorry Johnny. You know it wasn’t on purpose. You drank anything yet.”

Johnny’s mouth snapped shut at that and I knew I had touched a raw nerve. He was going on three days now. It was getting to the point of dangerous. I didn’t want him to get hurt or to hurt anyone else. We were walking a thin line as it was. It was lucky for us then that tonight was the last concert of the tour probably. We could haul ass and hide somewhere while we tried to figure all of our shit out. The media could label it as a stunt to make ourselves bigger when we got back. We didn’t care. This was bigger than the press.

“How’re Matt, Zack, and Tasha doing?” I asked instead.

Johnny shook his head and sighed. “Matt still won’t let her anywhere near him. He’s too damn afraid that that thing is still inside of him. Tasha has gotten over the shock though…she’s sitting outside his door and won’t leave until he lets her in. Zack he…well…he threw out all his mirrors as the last stop. And he’s also taken a vow never to touch a single weapon or woman again.”

Johnny and I looked at each other and laughed. The weapons he might be able to manage, but woman…like hell that would happen. It was an amusing thought, but he wouldn’t be able to manage it. They all knew him far too well to think of that kind of thing. “How about Brian?” I asked steepling my fingers. I knew that I couldn’t ask Johnny about himself, but I could check up on everyone else. Johnny knew what I was doing. I was checking against my dreams. I had to know how close everything was. I didn’t doubt that these dreams were prophetic anymore. We had seen too much to think otherwise.

I still regretted not being able to save Brian and Johnny from being bit. Those had been the first and on the same night. I had seen the signs and dismissed them. Déjà vu. How wrong I had been. If only…I hadn’t ignored them the next time though. We had managed to save Matt and Tasha before anything happened. Though I’m still certain that was more Matt than me no matter what he says. As for Zack…I hadn’t seen that coming and the only explanation I had was because it was a god living inside him trying to take control. That was the only thing that made sense.

“He’s doing better now,” Johnny finally managed to get out. “Last night…last night was rough on him Jim…” Johnny cut off. He didn’t have to continue. I understood. Last night Brian had almost killed a few people when he had turned. It had only been luck and quick thinking from all of us that had stopped it. This had to end.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” I said standing up. Johnny looked like he was going to say something then shook his head. We could talk about it later. I slipped past Johnny and through the hotel suite to the other side where Brian’s room was and knocked. I looked over at Zack’s locked door and wondered if he had tossed out the mirrors in this hotel room or just covered them.

The door opened and Brian looked haggard, his dark hair handing in front of his sullen eyes. “C’mon in Jim,” he said moving aside and letting me in. I was the lucky one. Everyone always let me in. I guess it was because I had let them in first. They trusted me. I was lucky for that.

“I think there’s a way you can stop this whole thing Brian,” I said taking a deep breath and watching him carefully. His eyes snapped up to mine, wary and almost animalistic, the question echoing in them. “If I tell you Brian, you have to keep us with you. You can’t leave us in the dark…please?” The last word was a soft plea. I knew what was in this dream and I didn’t want Brian to take the wrong path. I couldn’t lose my friend.

“Alright.” I couldn’t tell if he was lying, but I chose to believe him and started telling him about the dream and everything I had seen in it. Brian listened quietly. After I finished we both stood silent. It seemed to register finally that I was finished and Brian nodded. “Thanks man…thanks…” he whispered.

“You know Brian…we’re always gonna-“

An explosion came from the front of the suite and both Brian and I whipped around and dashed out of the room. Smoke billowed down the halls and towards us enveloping us. I could hear screams from outside and from Tasha while Johnny, Matt, and Zack were shouting everyone’s names. My stomach flipped as I realized what was happening. I reached out and felt someone grab my arm. I was pulled through the smoke and the suite, completely blind until I found myself pushed through a window and onto the fire escape. Hands pushed me forward up the escape, up until we came to the roof. I rolled onto my back and looked over to see Johnny covered in a thick blanket, lying flat on his stomach. Matt was coming over the little ledge to join us, Tasha, clinging to him in his arms. Zack was right behind him, but Brian was no where in sight.

“D-dammit!” I yelled drawing everyone’s attention and surprise. “Brian’s gone…that explosion wasn’t his fault, but he used it. He left without us.” Fear stirred in my gut. I knew, I knew even if they didn’t know yet. If we didn’t find Brian soon, he was going to die.