So, You're in My Tour Bus?

Natalya's Point Of View

I lay there silently, my eyes staring intently at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. What have I done? That was all that came to mind. What I did was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! I gave up my virginity to a charming, sweet-talking, cocky, horny asshole of a rock star. Why; well because he had a way with wordsand his lips…

The only sound in the room was our uneven breathing though I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear my heart pounding anxiously in my chest. I opened my mouth for a moment then closed it and bit my lip. I paused then took a deep breath and spoke in a feeble whisper, “Alex?” I waited for an answer which didn’t come. “Alex.” I spoke a little louder this time, thinking he couldn’t hear me.

“Mmm?” He murmured and I sighed.

I stopped and swallowed. Why had I not thought of what to say before I began? Maybe it’s because I’ve never been with a guy and I’ve never had to think. I was always the shy, smart girl at school. Boys didn’t pay much attention to me, not unless it was for help in class or on homework and even then I was hopeless in small talk. “W-Well…” I started and tried to think quickly on my feet like Cecile always does.

“Yes?” Alex asked and I could imagine his eyebrow lifting curiously.

“I- Well- I was wondering…” I stuttered, wanting to slap myself when I found I was blushing. Alex was nothing to get flustered over. He was just using me anyhow.

Alex slid an arm around my waist and tugged me closer to him. “Just tell me what’s on your mind, Nat.”

“So, does this mean there’s going to be something between us?” I blurted the question out and regretted it when I felt my stomach churn unpleasantly. I sighed, now would be the one time in my life that I want to be Cecile. I wish I had the same tact and confidence that she had when she was with boys. Alex chuckled humorlessly, no doubt boasting that famous smirk of his.

“I don’t do girlfriends.” He stated flatly. There was no debating it.

I had just ruined everything.

We just had sex. Aren’t you supposed to like the person you have sex with? I guess it’s different for Alex Gaskarth. Something told me not to do it and now he’s taken my virginity and I can’t take it back. I can never take that back. At that moment, the hormonal teenager inside of me was let loose. I wanted to cry; I wanted to cry my eyes out, eat tubs of ice cream, and watch chick flicks with Cecile.

I sat up slowly, my body shaking a little and in an instant I wished I could ignore all the feelings coursing through me; anger, sadness, fear, remorse, depression, and more. I felt a need to be wanted and I knew Alex wouldn’t give me that. I could imagine him laughing bitterly. He would never want me, not like I wished he would.

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut before grabbing my clothes. I felt his gaze burning into my bare back then his warm hand touching my skin in what seemed like comfort but I knew otherwise; his intentions were callous and impure. I shivered at his touch and sucked in a sharp breath. “Don’t take it personally…” He said awkwardly and I cringed but said nothing. I got dressed as quickly as I could manage and went out to find Cecile, my eyes clouded with tears.

“Cecile…” I called, my voice cracking though I was determined to not let my tears fall.
I paused before calling her name out once again.

Smack! The sound of something falling came from the bathroom. Hesitantly, I walked over there. Cecile was sprawled out on the floor and Jack was helping her up. She must have tripped/fell. Her lip was busted and she was blushing like there was no tomorrow.

Her face fell when she caught a glimpse of me. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Come on,” She murmured, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “Let’s get you home.”

It was so strange to me how Cecile could go from being… well, Cecile to being a kind, caring, guardian. She was so protective of me when I needed it most. She led me out into the main section of the bus and stopped right at the front door.

“Wait here. I forgot something.” She said quietly. Cecile turned on her heel, and nearly stomped back over to the bunks.

She threw the curtain to Alex’s bunk aside, the angriest glare that I had ever seen polishing her features. “Get the fuck up you piece of trash!”

“Back off, whore! I’m trying to get some sleep.” Alex snapped back at her, his glare coming close to matching hers, but she was fiercer, more protective of me than she had ever been before.

“Sleep? Fucking sleep? That’s all you can think about?” She raged, looking like she was about to rip Alex’s head off.

“Yeah. I’m pretty tired.” He stated, rolling over, trying to tune her out. It was a bad idea and only infuriated Cecile more.

“You are a worthless piece of shit. No wonder parents always freak out when their kids say they want to be musicians…..” Blah, blah, blah. I lost what she was saying words were flying out of her mouth so quickly. “They don’t want their kids ending up like you.” Another moment when I couldn’t tell what she was saying. “As skanky, man-whores, who write shit music, and can’t fucking sing.” Cecile ranted on and on until she got to this particular sentence.

I wished that I had a time machine so I could rewind this moment and make her not say that. Alex sat up quicker than a hiccup and slapped Cecile right across the face.

“You don’t know a god damned thing about being a musician. And I do not write shit music, do you understand me, you crack whore?” Alex seethed, pointing a finger right in between her eyes.

Cecile snapped.

I sighed. If only I was brave enough to make her stop.

She threw a punch that landed squarely on Alex’s jaw. It left his lip bloody and torn, much like the mark on Cecile’s lip. It took Alex a few seconds to comprehend that she’d actually punched him, but when it hit him, he wasn’t happy about it at all.

“Stop!” I screeched as he snatched a fist-full of her hair. Jack had seen the whole thing.

He was brave. He was like Cecile. A lot like Cecile. Couldn’t he have said something sooner? Didn’t he have the guts to stop Alex?

What the hell is going on?