Head Over Heels

I went through the rest of my day completely bored. I hated the fact that Ian and Parker were only in my math class and nothing else. Jaz was in a couple of my other classes but for some reason she doesn't like talking to me when Parker's not around. Even when he is around she barely talks to me. I don't think she likes me at all. It’s fine with me because I don't like her in the slightest. She can be an extremely pissy person. Finally hearing the bell ring signaling that English was over, I jumped out of my seat excited. School was finally done for the day.

I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and started speed walking to the door. I accidentally bumped into a couple of people on the way. I didn't bother to say sorry because I didn't see who I'd bumped into and because I was almost out the door. When I did make it out of the door I started walking towards my locker. Ian would be waiting for me there. He always had a free block at the end of the day and when classes were over we met at my locker. And sure enough when I got there Ian was leaning on my locker smiling when he saw me.

"Hey Tanner!" He said pulling me into his chest and into a strong hug. I sniffed and breathed in the scent of his cologne. Ian always managed to smell extremely good no matter what. I buried my face into his chest farther and sighed in relief.

"What are you doing?" He asked laughing at me. I still hadn't bothered to take my face out of his shirt and I had a grip on it as well.

"I'm smelling you."

"Why?"

"Because you always smell extremely good no matter what even if you were just working out you always smell good. How is that even possible?" I asked mumbling into his chest. Ian just chuckled to himself and shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess I just do. So anyway what are we doing now that school is out? I don't have to babysit tonight and it’s my day off from work."

Now it was my turn to shrug. I had no clue what we could possibly do. My house was always boring. My mom was out with an old friend and my dad was on a business trip to Ohio. Sucks I'm an only child. I have nobody to harass besides Ian and Parker. But they are both usually busy so if I'm not with my mom I'm alone. My face was still buried into Ian’s chest and he rubbed circles into my back.

“You have no clue what you want to do today at all?”

“Nope not at all.” I mumbled into his shirt. He just laughed and continued to lean against my locker with me in his arms. It was moments like these that I completely forgot about my feeling for Parker. Ian was just perfect, so I couldn’t understand why I would want anyone else. I keep hoping that my feelings for Parker are just some kind of phase that will pass or some kind of test to show how much I really care for Ian. I really do care about Ian but I also care about Parker in the same way and half the time I can’t tell who I love more. Everything is just so damn confusing!

"Well do you want to leave now? Cause we have been standing in the middle of the hallway for about ten minutes.” I lifted my head out of his chest and looked up at him.

“Yeah we should get going.” I leaned up and pecked his lips. He smiled wide and gave me another quick kiss before entwining our fingers together. I gripped my messenger bag in my free hand as we started walking towards the entrance of the school. Within five minutes we were walking outside towards the school parking lot. Ian always drove to school in the morning and always drove me home after school. I liked driving in Ian's car because it was usually just the two of us. It was nice, besides my boyfriend Ian was like my second best friend. It was always easy to talk to him about anything.

Ian unlocked his car and I opened the door and was about to climb inside when someone called my name. I turned around and my heart slightly sank when I saw Parker run towards us. I didn't need to see him right now. Not like I don't seeing hanging out with my best friend. I just don't like hanging out with him and Ian at the same time. My emotions ran wild when they were both together and I can't handle it most of the time.

"Hey guys!" Parker said when he got to the car. He put his hands to his chest to try and regain his breathing. He was extremely out of breath.

"Hey man what's going on?" Ian asked while I just leaned on his car and remained silent.

"I was talking to one of my teachers and I ended up missing the bus. Mind if I bum a ride off of you?"

"Dude you know I don't care hop in." Ian said signaling for him to get in the car. Parker opened the back door and got in and I climbed into the front seat and shut the door. I stared out the window and tried to ignore my surroundings as I started to space out. It didn't even accrue to me that the car had started moving until there was a poke at my side. I turned around at Parker he was furrowing his eyebrows at me in confusion.

"Tanner did you even hear a word I said?"

"Huh?"

"Well as I was saying before, Jaz doesn't want to do the movie night. So we can still do it with the three of us."

"Or it can be the two of you." Ian butted in. "I know you two haven't hung out alone it a while. You guys do need your best friend time too."

"Dude that's not fair to you. I'd feel like we'd be leaving you out. Right Tanner?"

"Yeah." I responded I didn't really know how I felt about it.

"Alright then it’s settled." Parker said sitting back in his seat and clapping his hands.

"Wait, wait a minute. Parker you doing anything right now?" Ian asked him.

"No why?"

"All of us should just hangout now. That way you two can have your movie night together. I'm not busy tomorrow so Tanner and I can be all coupley alone tomorrow."

"Sweet, I can harass the shit out of you two right now." Parker said beaming, he was already having way too much fun and we were only driving back to my house. Ian just laughed before focusing on the road. I could tell he was looking at me through the corner of his eyes as he tried to focus on his driving. I knew he could tell that something was bothering me but there was no way I would tell him what it was. I ignored his questioning glances and turned up the volume on his stereo before I turned my attention back to the window and watched as the cars flew by.

With every passing second I wished that the day would just go by faster. I just wanted it to end, if I could fast foreword this day and the rest of the week I would be ecstatic. I didn't trust myself alone with Parker anymore and it made me scared. What's going to happen if I accidentally slip and tell him how I feel about him? What if I do something worse and act out on impulse? It would kill me if I did. I would ruin our friendship. I would ruin the relationship between Ian and me. Ian doesn't deserve that. He is such a sweet guy, amazing really and I know I take him for granted. I don't deserve him at all. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt him. But I have this deep fear that I know I will.