Status: slow active

Head Over Heels

I Need You To Know

I was so glad Tanner changed the channel. I hate the discovery channel with a passion. Who wants to watch some guy go and eat some animal parts? Definitely not me. I was glad Tanner stole the remote from Ian and changed it to cartoons. I fucking love cartoons. They are so funny, and never have any problems at all. They don’t have to worry about their girlfriends telling them that they don’t love them. I frowned slightly, but then concentrated on the cartoon. I was not going to let Jaz ruin my afternoon.

I laughed at this one part. Some person banged into the wall. That sort of stuff always makes me laugh. I heard Tanner laughing next to me. I turned around and looked at him, with an amused look on my face.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“You,” he replied simply.

I was confused. How was I funny? “Huh? Why am I so funny?”

“It’s just amusing watching you. You get really into the shows you watch. You just always seem happy,” he explained. My smile soon faded. “I’m far from happy at the moment,” I mumbled softly. He nudged me, so I figure he didn’t hear me.

“What did you say?” I was right.

“I said I’m far from happy at the moment,” I mumbled. I needed to tell him. I needed his advice. This Jaz thing was really bugging me. She is my first real girlfriend. I thought she loved me.

“What’s wrong?” he now had a frown upon his face.

“It’s just Jaz. She is just not the girl I used to love,” I sighed. It felt so good to tell someone about how I am feeling.

“Why what happened?”

“She’s only using me, she doesn’t really like me at all. She’s just dating me for popularity. I think I’m going to break up with her,” I looked down at my hands. I felt his hand on my back, patting it. He was so supportive, even if he didn’t say words. I have made the decision that I will break up with her because I don’t want to be used anymore. I want to be with someone that will treat me right. Someone like Tanner. What the hell? No I do not want to be with my best friend. I don’t have feelings for him, do I?

“Well whatever you decide to do you know I support you,” I was thankful that he was so supportive. I don’t know what I would do without him.

I heard him ‘awe’ and I looked over to where he was ‘awing’. It was Ian. He was sleeping. Tanner slowing moved Ian’s arm from his waist so he could sit up. Ian slowly started to stir, so Tanner put a pillow under his arm. Ian then snuggled right into it. I tried to hold back my snickers, and I noticed Tanner was doing the same thing.

“He looks so cute when he’s sleeping,” Tanner mumbled.

“Yeah like one big teddy bear,” I added.

“You want to go downstairs and grab some food?” Tanner suggested. I nodded, I am starving. We got off his bed and our way downstairs. I led the way even though it is his house. I have been here so many times; I could probably tell you where everything is and where everything is kept in the house.

When we were halfway down the stairs I heard a yelp. I looked up and noticed Tanner tripping; I quickly caught him before he fell to the ground. His body was shaking softly. He looked up at me and gasped. I think I stopped breathing. I don’t think I have ever realized how amazing his eyes are. I think if any one of us moved we would be kissing. I was confused. I had never had feelings for another guy, ever, and now I am thinking about my best friend in ways I shouldn’t considering he is taken.

“Ah...thanks Parker,” he awkwardly chuckled. I blinked a few times and then chuckled. I stood him up, so he could walk.

“No problem Tan,” I said as I patted his back. We walked into the kitchen and I stood by the counter, while he went behind it.

“Anything specific you want?” he asked.

“Hot chocolate,” I beamed. He rolled his eyes at me and turned on the stove and put the kettle on. He has a nice ass. What the hell? I did not just think that. Nope, I didn’t. There are a few reasons why I would never think that. One, he is my best friend. Two, he has a boyfriend. Three, I am not gay, well at least I don’t think I am. Maybe I should ask Tanner about it, the gay thing, not the possible crush on my best friend. He might get freaked out about that. He would probably be the best person to ask about this sort of thing, since he is gay. God, I am so confused. Damn me and my stupid mixed up feelings.
I froze when I felt arms rap around my back, but I relaxed when I realized it was Tanner.

“This whole Jaz thing still bugging you?” he asked. He was so caring.

“Yes and well other stuff is too,” I pointed out. I needed to tell him.

“Like what?” he asked.

“I really think I’m going to break things off with her because she said some things about you guys that didn’t sit well with me at all. I can’t believe I’m dating a homophobe. That doesn’t work considering my best friend is gay. You will always come first before some girl,” I smiled softly. No one could ever come between my friendship with Tanner. He means too much to me. I value his friendship more than life itself. I would be completely lost without him.

“Thanks Park. That’s not the only thing that’s been bothering you lately is it?” He could read right through me.

“Well I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately,” I saw him nod, which meant he wants me to continue. “I think I’m slightly, you know....curious,” I explained. He looked very confused.

“Curious about what?” he asked.

“You know....,” I trailed off. I gave him a ‘duh’ expression. I didn’t want to explain it out loud, because if I said it out loud it would become more real and then I would have to tell my parents, which I don’t think it would go down well, especially with my mother. I was also scared that he might judge me. I know it sounds stupid, don’t ask me why I thought he would judge me.

I was about to tell him when my phone started ringing. I got my phone out and my eyes widened. It was my mother. She is probably where I am, and is probably planning on killing me when I get home.

“Fuck, it’s my mum. She’s probably wondering where I am. Tanner I gotta go,” I said as I rushed out of the kitchen.

“Wait a minute, Ian will drive you. It’s no big deal.”

“He’s sleeping don’t wake him up. I’ll just walk. I don’t live that far away, just about a mile,” I sighed.

“But Parker...”

“Tanner seriously it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” I said as I slipped my shows on and opened the door. He started to say something, but I couldn’t hear it because the door slammed shut when he said it.

About 20 minutes later I arrived home. I was breathless because I ran most of the way. I opened the door and slammed it shut. I wish she never rang me, I could be telling Tanner my troubles right now.

“Parker!” I heard my mother yell. I grumbled and made my way into the lounge room. She was always in there, reading a book. I think she thought it made her seem smarter, it didn’t.
“Where have you been?” She asked sternly. None of your business.

“Tanner’s,” I answered. She nodded. Nice to know you agree with my whereabouts.

“How did your test go?” She asked. Of course she asked that, all she cares about is my grades. Heaven forbid if I don’t get top of the class.

“Alright,” I mumbled.

“You better have got at least 80 percent,” she ordered. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Go upstairs and do your homework,” she ordered again. I felt like I was a prisoner been told what to do by the prison guard.

I rolled my eyes again and made my eyes upstairs. I wasn’t going to do my homework; I had too much on my mind. I can’t believe the thoughts that have been going through my head all day. They all indicated towards one thing; I have feelings for Tanner. I can’t have feelings for Tanner because it will end in disappointment. Tanner has Ian. They are happy together. There is no room for me, I just have to deal with being Tanner’s best friend. I couldn’t ruin their relationship with my foolish feelings.

One thing I did need to do was break up with Jaz and tell Tanner about my recent thoughts towards men.

I wanna break up with you. I texted Jaz. Hopefully she would reply soon.

Good, hoping you would do it soon. You are seriously the most boring boyfriend ever. I can’t believe we never had sex. I mean have you seen me. Any guy would love this. She texted back. I will admit that hurt a little. I didn’t want to have sex with her because it never felt right. It never felt special. Call me a girl or whatever but I want the moment to be perfect.

Goodbye Jaz. I didn’t mean to do it over text message but I needed to get her out of my life. It was the only way I could do it.

I texted Tanner next, I need to talk about my curiosity.

I hope he will reply, I really need to tell him about it.
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i started writing this the second Death By Vanity posted her part, haha <3
Finally Parker realizes his feelings and gets rid of Jaz.
I hate her, if she was real I would probably stab her.
Comments <3
thanks for all the comments so far guys, they are amazing.