Head Over Heels

I sat cuddled on my sofa with Ian behind me. We weren’t watching the TV or listening to music, we were just sitting in silence. As boring as it sounds it was actually really relaxing, we’ve been like this for a couple of hours now. Ian and I barely spent time together anymore and moments like these were ones that I missed. Ian really was just a sweet guy and I hated myself for having feelings for Parker sometimes.

“Shit Tanner I have to go.” Ian cursed himself while I turned and looked at him in confusion.

“Why? Didn’t you say that you have nothing to do today?”

“Yeah but I now just remembered that I have to pick up my sister from her friend’s house. I’m really sorry Tanner I know it was supposed to be just us today I don’t want to leave you here by yourself though.” He said sincerely before kissing me.

“Its fine don’t worry about it I’ll find something to do its only a couple of hours alone besides tomorrow is Friday I’m pretty sure I have homework that I didn’t finish. “ I said trying to reassure him that it was fine even though I was bummed that I was going to spend the first of the night by myself.

“Alright Tanner.” Ian said pecking my lips and smiling and getting off of the sofa. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said walking to the door. I walked him to the door and buried my face in his chest as I gave him a hug. Ian chuckled to himself and hugged me back just as tight. I pulled away and gave him a weak smile.

“Goodnight Ian.”

“Night Tanner.” He said before rushing off to his car, I was a little upset that he didn’t give me a kiss before he left but it wasn’t a big deal. I watched Ian drive off and vanish down the street before I sighed deeply and walking back into my house. I locked the door before I made my way back to the living room and shut off the lights. I turned off all the lights downstairs before I made my way upstairs and into my room. I shut my door behind me and through myself onto my bed.

I put my bag on the floor, I knew there was no way I was going to do my homework I was just too lazy at the moment and didn’t feel like doing it. I grabbed my phone from off my counter to check to see if I had any missed calls or texts and was slightly surprised to see that Parker had texted me. I looked at the time the text was received at groaned realizing that he had sent me that text message over two hours ago. I wasted no time and opened it.

need to talk about my curiosity.

I still was highly confused about what he was so curious about so instead of pushing off the conversation I started to text him back and hope that he would answer.

What are you so curious about anyway? I sent the message and lied down on my back and laid my phone down beside me. Moments later I felt a vibration and my phone lit up signaling that I had a new text. It was from Parker and I pressed my phone and opened the text.

My sexuality I’ve been feeling differently about guys lately and well I guess I’m just curious as to whether or not I’m attracted to them.

My mouth was slightly hung open in shock that was actually a lot for me to take in. My best friend Parker out of all people wasn’t sure about his sexuality. I just didn’t think that it was possible. As long as I have known him all he’s ever talked about his girls, girls and more girls. So for him to tell me he might like boys was weird to me. Not that I mindedI might actually have a chance with him now. I shook that thought out of my head and reminded myself that I have Ian before I texted Parker back.

How long have you been feeling like this?

A little after I started dating Jaz.

I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about this through texting or talking on the phone.

No not really… I’d rather you’d be with me to talk about it.

Well then lets talk about it tomorrow during our movie night. That sound okay?

Yeah that’s way better.

Alrighty well then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow I’m off to bed

Oh okay night Tanner.

Night Parker.

I texted before I got off of my bed and plugged my phone into the charger. I stripped down to my boxers and cleared everything off of my bed. I turned off the lights before I climbed into my bed and rested my head on my pillows. Endless thoughts started to run through my mind and all of them had something to do with Parker. I was really hoping that I could help him with his curiosity and help him figure this out. I know that he is probably so confused right now and battling with himself. That’s what it was like for me when I was figuring out my sexuality. I guess I just have to wait until tomorrow.

-X-

The whole school day just seemed to drag on and on for no reason. It was like the clock knew that I was anxious for tonight after school and was taunting me. Damn thing was tickling away too slowly for my liking. This day needs to end. Through out my whole entire class I did nothing but stare at the clock.

Just one more minute to go and then I’d be out of math class and school will officially be over. Finally after what felt like eternity the bell rang ending the school day. I sprung out of my seat and bolted out of the room and towards Parker’s locker. He was already leaning against it and looking down at his shoes. Damn he looks out when he’s spacing out.

“Hey Park!” I shouted catching his attention. He smiled when he saw me and started walking towards me. “You ready for movie night?” He started nodding vigorously with a slightly nervous smile on his face. I was guessing he was nervous about our talk and I hugged him for reassurance.

“Stop worrying so much and let’s go watch some movies.” Stated and Parker just smile before we started walking out of the school. Ian had drove me to school today like he usually did and I search around for his car. I was driving with Parker today anyway, but I haven’t seen Ian all day since this morning. Usually he walks me to my classes and we have lunch together but I haven’t heard from him all day. I texted him earlier and I still haven’t gotten a reply. I hope he’s okay.

Putting thoughts of Ian out of my mind I walked with Parker towards his car. He opened the doors and I slide into the passenger seat just as he shut his door.

“Your mom finally gave you your car keys back?” I teased and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah after grounding me for practically two months. I swear that woman is so difficult. All I did was stay the night over your house and I’m grounded for two months without a car just because I forgot to call her and tell her I was at your house. She should have figured I was over your house where the hell would I go?”

“She probably figured you were with Jaz.”

“Well it’s a good thing that that bitch is out of my life for good. I honestly do not know what I saw in her.” I started laughing as he continued to rant about Jaz.

“Honestly I don’t know what you saw in her either.”

“I think I only liked her because she’s hot. Her personality is complete shit so that had to be the reason.” I continued to laugh as we drove back to his house. It was a quick drive and soon enough we were pulling into his driveway.

“Fuck yes my mother’s not home.” Parker chanted and I giggled at his face expression.

We made our way to his front door and walked in making our way up to Parker’s room. I put my stuff down and plopped down on his bed while he kicked off his shoes.

“I already set up the projector and stuff this morning so really all we have to do is wait until its dark to watch the movies.” He explained while sitting on his bed next to me. “Anything specific you wanna do while he wait for it to get dark outside?” He asked me. I figured we might as well not push off the subject that Parker seemed to be extremely eager to talk about and just talk about it.

“Well do you want to talk about well…you know.” I said hinting what we should talk about. Parker started blushing and he looked down at his lap.

“I don’t know how to start that conversation.” He admitted and I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed it showing reassurance.

“Trust me I’ll help you figure out what you’re feeling no matter what. So start talking.” I jokingly demanded. Parker chuckled to himself before we started talking again.

“Well I’ve been thinking differently about guys lately and it odd to me considering all I’ve ever thought about was girls. But lately guys have been attracting my attention and I’ve been finding them attractive. But I still like girls.”

“Well you’re not gay considering you still like girls. You might be bisexual or just going through a phase. Are you only feeling this way towards one guy or have you been feeling this way around different guys?” Parker seemed hesitant to answer the question and I wasn’t sure why.

“Well…I’ve b-been a-attracted to one guy specifically lately.” He mumbled before looking at me then quickly staring down at his hands. “B-but I’ve been finding other guys attractive too.”

“Who’s the guy that you’re attracted too?” I asked and he froze. His whole body stiffened and he looked really nervous.

“Ah well… I’d rather not say.”

“Okay.” I said he was already telling my a lot, I wasn’t going to push him into telling me who it was that he was crushing on. “Parker you’ve never kissed a boy before have you?” His head shot up faster then a bullet and he frantically shook his head. I bit my lip not sure if what I was about to say was a good idea or not. He could always shoot it down if he wanted to.

“Do you want to try?” I asked him biting my lip.

“W-what?”

“Do you want to kiss a boy to see if that helps you figure out if you’re bisexual or not?” I asked him again.

“Yeah, I mean sure but who?”

“Me.” I stated and his eyes grew wide.

“Are you sure you want to do that? What about Ian won’t he get mad?”

“Ian doesn’t have to know, besides if we tell him its to help you figure out your sexuality he won’t mind.”

“Are you sure Tanner?”

“Yes. You don’t have to if you don’t want to I was just suggesting it. We can always find you someone else to kiss if you want.”

“No! I mean no I-I’d feel more comfortable if it was you, considering that you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want to go around kissing random people I don’t know.” Parker started rambling.

“Alright now don’t freak out or anything just relax. It’s exactly the same thing as kissing a girl.”

“Okay.” He said nervously. I moved closer to him and put my hands on his waist. He tensed at first from my touch but started relaxing.

“Just relax.” I whispered before leaning my face towards his.

I could he breathed in deep before exhaling and closing his eyes. I closed my eyes as I moved closer to him and slowly our lips touched. Instantly shocks surged through my body as his soft lips pressed against mine. I gripped his hips in my fists and pulled him closer. This was the day that I had been dreaming about for years and even though I knew that I shouldn’t get to carried away I couldn’t help but put more pressure into the kiss and deepen it. Parker’s shaky hands started to wrap their way around my waist and pull me close to the point where I was practically sitting in his lap. Parker’s tongue brushed against my bottom lip and I more then willingly opened my mouth granting him entrance. His tongue invaded my mouth and I let him take control. Parker’s grip around my waist tightened and I found myself on his lap. I didn’t care I was enjoying this way to much to care. I moaned into his mouth and he moaned right after me. Something was starting to poke my leg and I gasped at the realization that I was starting to give Parker a boner. I was getting ready to curse the need to breathe as we pulled apart gasping for air. I shifted out of Parker’s lap and sat back down on his bed. Both of us could do nothing but stare at our hands and let the awkwardness of us making out set in.

“Um ah… thanks Tanner.” Parker said not sure about what to say.

“You’re welcome.” I said quietly still looking down at my hands. I was starting to feel guilty for making out with Parker. It was supposed to be just a simple kiss nothing serious. But that was serious. I had made out with my best friend and I enjoyed it more then I should have considering that I have Ian and he is such an amazing boyfriend.

Parker got off of the bed and started walking towards the door. I stood up and grabbed his arm and made him look back at me.

“Ah well… did that um you know…help?” I asked nervously. Parker just looked down at his shoes and bit his lip before answering me.

“Y-yes Tanner it really did help me.”

“And…” I trailed off hoping that he would answer.

“There is no way that I am completely straight, I’m definitely bixsexual.” He stated and I let go of his arm. “Um I have to go…use the bathroom, there’s a whole bunch of dvds downstairs. You can go pick a bunch of movies that you want to watch. By the time I get back we can start watching movies.”

“Okay.” I mumbled and watched him leave the room. I sighed deeply to myself before I throw myself back onto his bed. My emotions were running haywire right now and my whole entire body was still tingling from the feel of Parker’s lips. There was no way that I could deny my feelings for Parker anymore. I loved Parker and there was no way that was going to change. That kiss between us left me craving more and I know that I shouldn’t be wanting this so bad. I have Ian and he’s such a nice guy he doesn’t deserve me kissing my best friend behind his back. There was no way I was going to tell him that I did. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him right?