I Want a Taste of Your Medicine

The competition was tomorrow and both guys had confronted me alone telling me why I should be with them and why they loved me. I however wasn't sure how I felt, but for some reason I knew that in my heart what I felt was love and I just didn't know which guy it was directed at. I became even more confused every time I thought about the conversations that went down.

Adam-"I love you Pattyn, and you're all I ever think about. I've never felt like this before and I just think that with someone as beautiful and smart as you that you should be with someone that makes you feel special and happy. If that's not with me then I guess I'll just have to live with that,"

*A day later*

Landon- "Okay so I'm not so good at these, um, talking about feelings things ... I guess. But, um, anyways, I fell in love with you and I can't honestly tell you how or why because I don't know. The only thing that I'm sure of right now are the feelings I have for you. You're beautiful, and you're someone that is way too good for me but you make me a better person. No one has ever made me smile the way you have and no one has ever made my heart ache when they weren't around me, but you did that to me. I just thought that since you were already deciding that I should tell you how I feel. Anyways, I have to go surfing with the guys, I'll talk to you at the surfing competition."

See where my dilemma is? They're both so cute and sweet and I didn't even realize that they were falling for me. Maybe I should just go live with my dad and be with Trent, even if I know that, that's not entirely what I want.

Before I could think any longer my bedroom door opened and Max walked in. He smiled at me and then sat down on the bed and was soon followed in by Jake. I smiled at the two of them and scooted over to make some room.

"We wanted to tell you the news before we came out to everybody else," Max said, and I could tell that with each day he was becoming more used to his sexuality. I was proud of him though, he had so much going on for him this summer and he's been taking it so well.

"You're coming out to everybody else?" I asked surprised and excited at the same time. I hugged them both before they could respond and then looked at them trying to be patient enough to be able to hear the rest.

"Yes, but not until tomorrow night when the competition is over," Jake said, smiling widely. I could tell that he was extremely happy about the way things had turned out. I mean he got the guy he wanted and all he had to do was tell him the truth.

"But anyways, we wanted you to know that we're finally official," Max said, and I stared at them already noticing that fact but getting more hyped up about it when it was actually said out loud. This relationship was the only thing I wasn't confused about, these two people are the only people I can really talk to at this point. Marshall seems upset with me since he found out about Adam and Landon and I. I can't really blame him though, he thinks that I might have ruined a good friendship, and I feel really sorry for that.

"I'm so happy for you!" I shouted at them bouncing up and down and giving them another hug. It seemed like I was getting carried away, but this is something I can finally be happy about. I haven't felt happy in days.

"So I don't mean to bring this up or anything but have you thought much about tomorrow and all of the decisions you have to make?" Jake said and both of their faces turned to concern. I just shrugged and looked at them with a confused expression. I seriously needed to pick or I might as well not pick one of them at all. The thing is though, that I didn't want to let them go. I needed them and I knew that, that need was more for one of them then the other.

"Maybe it'll just come to you when you're sleeping tonight?" Max suggested to me but it came out more of a question then anything. I knew that they weren't much help when it came down to the messes that I had made for myself but I appreciated them trying.

"Maybe," I said huffing as I lay down on my bed. "Hopefully,"