I Want a Taste of Your Medicine

It was the day of the competition and instead of going right away I wanted to wait a little bit longer. I still had no idea who to choose, I sort of went with what Jake and Max had said and slept on it but nothing came.

The house was empty and not even Jake was here because he wanted to support his new boyfriend. I smiled at that thought and how good and perfect everything had turned out with them. Of course they still needed to tell everybody else and I knew that would be difficult.

I was pacing around the house only sure of one thing; I was going to be living here. I had called my dad earlier and told him everything that was going through my mind. I also told him that I would be visiting him a lot. As for my mom, we both have no idea where she is. It hurts having her just leave that like but she could easily find us if she wanted to; she clearly didn't want to.

I went up to Adam's room and sat down on his bed looking over at Marshall's and then at the door and thinking about everything I liked about Adam. He was special to me but so was Landon. It was weird how I hadn't even noticed I was feeling this way. Then again I was being a bit stubborn and bitter about everything in my life.

I remembered the first day I had gotten here and was told that I would be sharing this room with Adam. I remembered how it smelt bad and I pulled out the air freshener and we fought over the littlest things. I remembered those two nights we shared and how both times they were ruined. Was that fate?

I got off of his bed and walked out of the room and over to Landon's room across the hall. I had been in this room a billion times while Landon and I were sneaking around. His room was so clean and it smelt so good because he was of course the pretty boy. I smiled at the thought and then sat down on Landon's bed remembering everything that had happened with him.

I remembered when he told me that all of the guys wanted me physically but it wasn't worth it. I remembered him getting me drunk of the first night. I also remembered him giving me sweet gentle kisses and never going too far with me. Now that I remember it all he hardly even tried to either. There was that one time when we were sharing ice-cream but even then nothing happened.

I looked at the clock for a really long time and found myself becoming sleepy. Before I knew it I had dozed off and was dreaming.

I was walking along the beach with my sandals in my hands and I was quite happy. I could feel the smile that was planted on my face begin to hurt my cheeks, but I couldn't stop. I stopped walking all of a sudden and looked out to the water.

A pair of arms wrapped around me but they felt unfamiliar, something I wasn't used to. I could feel my smile widen as he continued to hold on. I couldn't see his face though, it was pretty dark. I tried to make out the shape of who it was but I just couldn't.

"I love you," He whispered and it was so low that I thought I hadn't heard anything at all. I couldn't tell by the whisper who it was either, but I found myself saying it back to him.

I woke up and felt my stomach do a flip flop at the familiarity of the dream. Even though in my dream I didn't know who it was, for some reason it showed me a face at the end of it and I just knew who it was that I was going to pick. I don't even know why it had taken me so damn long. I knew now that everything I was feeling, the frustration, the anger, the love, it was all because I was in love with this guy and I didn't want to hurt the other one.