Rooftop

Ryan had met Brendon in the city a few months ago. Before that meeting Ryan didn’t have a connection to any person, preferring solitude. It didn’t bother him that he didn’t have anyone to talk to. This was just something that he preferred. Brendon had been something unexpected. Brendon had pursued Ryan because he could sense Ryan’s loneliness and it had made him feel something he wasn’t used to. Sorrow.

As soon as Ryan had taken some notice of Brendon, Ryan felt something awaken inside of him. It was a passion that was different from the passion he felt when he was writing something that he felt was meaningful or reading something that he found of the utmost importance. This feeling that he felt because of Brendon made him feel light-headed and made his breath catch in the back of his throat. Ryan liked this feeling.

Ryan was sitting on the rooftop of a building in some forgotten city, staring at the dull lights in the distance. He was leaning against the ledge, and every few minutes or so he glanced behind him before returning his gaze to the distant skyline. Clouds covered the sky and the air surrounding Ryan felt dry and he knew that it was only a matter of time before it would start raining.

If anyone were to see him they would assume that he was alone, and sure, they were right--but he didn’t feel alone. Not at first anyways. Somewhere in that city was Brendon, and as long as Ryan knew he was there he never felt alone.

But as Ryan stood on that rooftop, something changed. He felt something shift inside of him as a sudden emptiness overcame him. His back straightened as he took a step away from the building’s ledge. He had forgotten this feeling—this overpowering sense of loneliness that had just now overcome him. And he knew—Ryan knew that Brendon was no longer in the city.

He felt his chest tighten as he tried to take in even breaths. Brendon couldn’t be gone. But Ryan couldn’t deny his gut feelings which said that Brendon was, in fact gone. A sense of panic was starting to grow inside of him as he looked hopelessly around him, wishing that there was just some sign of Brendon.

As he looked around, though, he stopped suddenly, thinking of something that Brendon had been talking about the previous week.

“If I could fly, I would fly straight out of this city,” Brendon said. Ryan laughed.

“There’s an airport about 10 minutes from here,” he said. Brendon smiled for a second before staring out at the city below them. They were on the roof of Brendon’s apartment building. Brendon was sitting on the ledge, Ryan preferring to stand. Brendon wasn’t afraid and Ryan admired that. But Ryan worried, because he knew that Brendon could do something reckless even if there were harmful consequences.

Ryan felt his nerves increase as Brendon leaned forward slightly to look at the ground far below him.

“I don’t mean on a plane,” Brendon said, leaning back again. He stood up on the ledge and Ryan looked up at him as Brendon stretched his arms out to the side. “If I could just jump off of this building and suddenly be flying—That’s the only way I’d leave this place.”

Brendon turned his head and looked down at Ryan. He lowered the arm closest to Ryan and held out his hand for him.

“Would you come with me?” Brendon asked.

“Of course,” Ryan replied as he took Brendon’s hand.

Ryan was sure that Brendon had found his way out of this city, without Ryan. He could feel the hurt starting to creep into him.

But realization struck Ryan as he returned to the ledge of the roof. Maybe Brendon had found his way to fly and he only had to join him now. Maybe Brendon was waiting for him.

Ryan didn’t hesitate to think for a moment as he climbed up on the ledge, standing above the city. He surveyed his surroundings, but all he could think of was Brendon. Ryan smiled as he slowly outstretched his arms to the side. As he leaned his head back with closed eyes, he felt the first drop of rain land on his face.

“I’m coming, Brendon,” Ryan said as he took a step. I’m coming.

But I will fly,
I will fly.
You will see.