Tell Me, Will It All Be Okay?

Chapter Fifty-Nine: “Welcome To The Black Parade.”

Over a year and a half has passed since Lisa died. Things have changed a lot, for the better. Frank goes to Lisa’s grave every day, unless we’re out on tour. When on tour, every show, we dedicate the set to Lisa. Our whole new album is dedicated to her. Tyler stays with my parents when we’re out on tour, and he loves them. Some shows were hard to play, because of some of the songs I helped write, with help from her note. It hurt really bad at first, and our sets would only last less than an hour. It’s getting better now. The insulting MTV news reports ended. People stopped talking. We’d released the new album and were taking a few days off from promotion. We were all out for lunch at a buffet, talking about the album.

“You know how the song talks about death coming in a positive way. Do you think it was like that for Lisa?” I asked.

“I’ll bet it was,” Gerard said. “And I’ll bet it was you. The patient gets a parade his father took him too, and she got you, because you completed her life.”

“I’ll bet you’re right,” I said, smiling.

“Mikey! You smiled!” Frank said pretending to be shocked.

“Ah, shut up.” I smacked him playfully.

“I’m just glad that you two are friends again,” Emily said.

“I said I’d never forgive him, but inside, I knew I would. The anger was talking through me that night,” I said.

“Mikey, are you ever gonna remarry?” Gerard asked.

“I don’t know. I really don’t want to.”

“He wants to be a widow, let him,” Bob said.

“A widow? Jeez, I sound like a chick now.” I laughed a little.

We all had a laugh at it, but then I saw someone I didn’t really wanna see, and who I’m sure Gerard didn’t want to see.

“Guys, it’s Tori,” I said.

We all looked at her as she came over.

“Hey, guys,” she said.

“Hey,” we all said.

“I know it’s been a long time, but I still thought it would be respectful to say how sorry I am about Lisa. She was a good person, she didn’t deserve to go.”

“Thanks, Tori,” I said.

She smiled weakly, then looked at Gerard and Ana.

“And, Gerard? I’m sorry I was a bitch about it. I hope you two are happy.”

“We’re married,” Gerard said.

She nodded, and smiled again.

“And we’re expecting our first child,” Ana said.

“What?” We all looked at her.

“I’m a month along,” she said, grinning.

“Well, see you guys.” Tori started to head off.

“Wait, Tori!” I called. “You know, you’re welcome to come over and hang out anytime.”

“I appreciate it, but I got other things to attend to. Have a nice life you all.”

She walked off and that was the last time we ever saw her to talk. She’d occasionally pop in at concerts, but we never really hung out with her.

“Umm…is it alright for me to also say I’m expecting?” Emily piped up. “I’m two months along.”

“I thought you got chubbier,” Gerard said.

“Dude!” Frank smacked his arm.

“I know. I was gonna say something sooner, but I dunno why I didn’t.”

I just smiled and sat back. I snuck off later with Tyler and we went to visit Lisa.

“Tyler, would you like to wish mommy a happy birthday? She would be twenty-five today.”

“Mommy? Happy birthday,” he said quietly, placing the dandelions he picked on his way up in front of the tombstone. “I miss you, mommy.”

I squatted. “Happy birthday, sweetheart. I still miss you, so much. It hurts every day, but that hurt gets lighter with each one passing. For you though, I’ll never get remarried. You’ll always be my one and only.”

“Mommy’s your one and only? What’s that mean?”

“It means she was the one for me, and she’ll be the only one for me. She’s the only person I’ve wanted to spend my life with. I remember when I first met her. She was so quiet, so shy, but I knew I loved her from the moment I first laid eyes on her. She was such a great person. So nice, and so caring. It was hard not to be friends with her.”

“He’s right you know,” someone said behind us.

We turned.

“Uncle Frank? How long have you been there?” Tyler asked.

“For a while. I kinda followed you. I wanted to wish Lisa a happy birthday too.”

He stepped in front of us and squatted down. He mumbled a few words, then he set down a bouquet of flowers he picked up on the way here.

“You know? It all really is my fault. You were right, I should’ve kicked her out of my room.”

“Frank, that was twelve years ago. It’s in the past. We gotta look to the future. You’re gonna be a father in seven months. You gotta be happy for that.”

“I am, but I’m still gonna think about it. I did ruin her life.”

“Frank, no you didn’t. You didn’t ruin anybody’s life.”

“I feel like I’m about to ruin Emily’s. Mikey? I still cry at night. It took you punching me in the face to get it through my thick fucking head. God, I just…I just miss her so god damn much.”

I couldn’t help but hug him as he started to cry.

“You’re supposed to miss her. She’s your sister. Your blood.”

“I got her pregnant, probably twice,” he said. “I’ve already ruined two lives, and they never even got to live. I’ve never felt so guilty in all my life. Sometimes at night, I go into the bathroom and I feel like doing the same thing she did.”

“Frank? No! I swear to God, if you kill yourself, I will never, ever forgive you, even in the after life.”

“I won’t. I swear.”

“Don’t make us put you on suicide watch.”

“I swear to god! I won’t. I swear on my baby’s life.”

I nodded and we stood there in silence, looking at Lisa’s tombstone. Oh God how I missed her so.