Hopeless

I entered the restaurant, aware that I was late for dinner. My eyes searched the place for anyone I know. I hate being late; but I had some business that could not be delayed. Or so, that was the reason I gave them. They fell for my lie.

I just had to clear my mind -- that was the reason I insisted on myself. See; I was lying to both my friends and myself. I’m such a great guy, aren’t I? You can clearly sense the sarcasm in my previous sentence even a mile away.

As I reached the second floor, I was met by a pair of beautiful hazel eyes. The owner of these mesmerizing eyes was none other than Gerard Arthur Way. What? You had to admit, he has such picturesque orbs.

“Hey Frankie,” he greeted; his voice was as melodic as ever “The guys were worried you might get lost or something.” he laughed as he softly hit my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes, pretending to be irritated “Haha, funny...” I said sarcastically. He led me to the group who were comfortably placed in a table to the far right of the room. They had the privacy they needed since we were the only ones in the second floor.

I watched as Gerard sat down next to his newly-proclaimed… wife. They smiled sweetly at each other and began talking about something oblivious to me. In the middle of their conversation, Gerard gave her a short peck on the lips. I felt a pang of jealousy rise up my body as I saw that. You understand partly now, right?

“Sweetie, take a seat.” I heard a female’s voice say. I was instantly snapped back to reality and realized I was the only one who wasn’t sitting down. Flushed, I instantly took a seat next to my fiancée. Of course I love her.

…I just love someone else more.

Gerard.

I adore him. He was just so… perfect. The way he sings, laughs, smiles, waves, sighs; everything he does makes me fall for him more.

…the way he kissed me during the shows. How I wish he felt something for me as his lips collided with mine. I want to feel his warm lips on mine once again.

I want Gerard. It sounds selfish but I did. I want him so, so badly.

Is it my fault I am this in love with my band mate… my friend? Is it my fault to fall for someone so perfect?

“Are you alright, Frankie?”

“Yeah,” I said, making my voice sound convincible. God I’m such a liar. Of course I’m not feeling peachy. I was never in a perfectly good mood ever since they got married. I am to-death jealous of Lyn-Z. She’s a great woman but I can’t help but feel jealous. I could have been the one beside him now; the one he kisses, embraces, loves.

I glance at him. He noticed my eyes on him and so he smiled. ‘Gerard, if only you knew…’

Fact: He can never be mine.

It’s a pity, though. We could have been a great couple; if not perfect.

Cue a random song for my pitiful situation.