Rock Stars at Night, Teachers by Day

Computer Class

Mike? What the hell? This isn’t happening. I should smack myself to see—Wait. I did that before. It only resulted in reality and pain. Lots and lots of pain.

“Dude! It’s Mike!” I whispered to her. She pulled me into the hallway and closed the door. “Oh my god. Do you believe me now?! Tré was really my teacher last period! And now this period it’s Mike!”

We stood up against the wall, practically out of breath. Both of us were shaking profusely but laughing nervously for some reason. I stared at her straight in the eyes, as did she to me. I seriously couldn’t believe this.

Just then one of my closest friends Jessica came down the hallway. She was wearing normal dark blue jeans with a green shirt. She always was able to handle the cold weather without wearing sweaters or jackets. She’s just awesome like that.

“DUDE!” I ran towards her leaving Dannie behind me. “You’ll never guess what I am about to tell you!” I practically screamed. She wasn’t gonna believe this. Mike is her favorite member of Green Day, and it has been her dream to meet him since she was a kid.

“Ok let’s breeeeeeeath. Take a deep breath and talk. Breath and talk.” She laughed.

How am I going to tell her this? Should I just come out and say, ‘Mike Dirnt is our teacher!’ or something? Aww shit. I guess there’s no way else to say it.

“So. How much do you like Mike Dirnt?” I asked, grinning like a fool. “I mean, you tell me you like him a lot but… What would you say if… Oh fuck it. Mike Dirnt is our substitute teacher.” I blurted out.

She stared at me, her face going from giddy, to dead serious. Her head cocked to the side, just like a puppy’s does when you call their name. She opened her mouth to speak to me. Instead of getting the shocked reaction I expected to get, I got the total opposite.

“Did you smoke pot this morning? What did I tell you about getting high before school? Remember what happened last time you came in high? You got EXPELLED!” She looked at me straight in the eye before turning away, giggling like a prissy schoolgirl.

“I m not high! And I got suspended last time I was high thank you very much! I swear Mike is in there! Dannie! Come here!” I called to her. She came over to us, still in shock. Her hands continued to shake, and her face was still pale. “Hey, can you please tell This kid over here who our sub is this period?”

“It’s—it’s Mi—Mike Dirnt!” She said. I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She never acted like this. It’s just so funny.

I looked over at Jessie, she was still laughing. How the fuck am I gonna get this chick to believe me? Wait! What if I—yeah. That’ll work.

I got in back of her and gripped the handles of her wheelchair. My knuckles turned white from holding them so tight. I started for he door, nearly racing my way the whole way there.

“What the fuck are you doing syko? Are you TRYING to give me a heart attack?” She yelled back at me. I always push her fast in her wheelchair through the halls, but never this fast.

I kept running towards the classroom. Dannie ran beside me, running at a faster pace than me. I nearly crashed into the door of the classroom when we got there.

“Open the door.” I said to Dannie. She looked at me blankly. “Open the door.” I repeated myself. She blushed a little and smiled. “Oh my god I’ll do it. You guys are useless.”

I pushed open the door, causing it to hit the wall behind it. I looked up to see none other than Mike Dirnt himself. I smiled to myself, a very nervous smile. Looking down, Jessie was looking up at Mike like he was some sort of god. Well… he is. DUH!

“Yo.” I laughed. I wheeled Jessie to where she usually sits and sat down next to her. “Sorry where late Mr. Dirnt. We were having a meeting outside. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us, please, DON’T MARK US LATE!” I screamed.

Whoever was in the classroom looked at me and either laughed, or stared at me awkwardly. It was pretty funny. Mike looked, smiled, nodded his head and turned to the board. I turned my attention to Jessie who was staring at Mike of course. She was practically drooling. I elbowed her and she snapped out of it.

“What did I tell you?” I whispered. A smile spread across my face like no other. “You have to belie—WOULD YOU STOP STARING AT HIM!”

Mike turned towards us, closing the whiteboard marker. “As you may all already know from the loud chick who walked in late, I am Mr. Dirnt. I hate how that fuckin sounds so just call me Mike. Now. This is a computer class isn’t it?” he asked. Everyone nodded their heads and went back to trying to hack into the Internet. “Well. Is there anyone who has any clue of who I am?” He asked.

“I knooooooow youuuuu!” Jessie wailed. “You—your. A punk rock legend. I fucking love you Mike. Can I touch your--”

“WOAH! OK! ENOUGH JESS!” I interrupted. Only god knows what she was gonna ask to touch. “Well Jess, Dannie and I know who you are. No one else in this shit hole does because they don’t appreciate good music. I don’t know if you wanna call what they listen to music or not but whatever. I like to called it ‘Mind Fucking the Fountain of Youth With Profanity and Uncivil Jesters.’ But ya know that’s just me.”

Just like the period before, everyone looked at me evilly and yelled profanities at me.

“My point exactly.” I stated. I sat back and put my feet up on the empty chair in front of me. The loud speaker crackled for a few seconds before Mr. Scarola, once again, interrupted the silence in the hallways.

“Pardon this interruption. Last period, a meeting was held in the guidance room. We have come to the conclusion that since we started school today second period, we might as well treat it as a half a day. For safety and health reasons, period five will complete the school day this evening. We will have a rapid dismissal at proximally 11:00. Notice that period 5 end usually ends at 11:41, we will be shortening periods four and five. It is now 10:15 am. At 10:30, period 4 will end and period five will began. From all the staff here at Grover Cleveland High School, we wish you all a safe, Holiday Vacation.”

The loud speaker turned was shut off as students throughout the school can be heard screaming and cheering. Everyone was giving each other high fives and planning what they were going to do for the rest of the day.

“Umm ok. So I guess we only have 15 more minutes left until this class is completed. I am disappointed. I really wanted to give you guys an awesome assignment. Writing a song, weather it be rap, rock, the fuckin blues, I don’t care. And then you could’ve performed it in front of the class. Oh well though.”

Everyone booed at his idea. I personally liked the idea. Plus I had my guitar with me and the lead singer of my band. That could’ve been fun.

“Yo mistah. How come you think of dumb ass ideas? What the fuck kind of assignment was that?” Chris laughed. He always laughed at his own jokes. I hate him more than Josh. And I REALLY hate Josh.

Chris was about the same height as Josh. Short and puny. His left eyebrow had a piercing in it, and like Josh, He wore clothes that were too big for his size. Only Chris wore bright, noticeable colors.

I stood up and walked over to him. “What the fuck is wrong with you. Keep your shitty ass opinions to yourself. Unless you want to get fuckin hurt. And I don’t think you want that, Hun. I REALLY don’t.”

Standing up for the challenge, he replied to me. “Yeah what are you gonna do bitch? Fuckin call the devil on me? Gothic mother fucker.”

“I swear to god dude. Say one more word and you’ll regret it.” I threatened.

“FUCK. YOU.” He simply stated. That was enough to piss me off even more. I reached towards his head a ripped his eyebrow piercing out of his face.

“I warned you. Fuck with the bull, you get the horns. Get the fuck out of here.” I said.

He reached up to his eyebrow and cried out in pain. Blood poured down his face, as it began to soak his yellow shirt. He walked quickly out of the room and slammed the door on his way out, leaving his backpack and hat behind.

“Only one more thing to do.” I said. I grabbed his belongings he left at his seat, and threw them out the second story window. Dannie stood up and clapped slowly. She always does that when I do something stupid. And yes. What I just did was stupid. Cool I might add, but stupid. Mike walked over to me with a weird look on his face. Aww shit. I m in for it.

“That. Was the most… PUNK ROCK THING EVER, DUDE! Aha I would’ve never had the balls to do that!” He laughed.

WOO! I SOO FUCKIN ROCK! Mike thinks I m Punk Rock. That’s fuckin awesome. I wanna give em a hug. I think I JUST MIGHT!

A knock on the door was heard between all the talking of the students in the classroom. Dannie was now playing my guitar, Jessie was, well, being Jessie, and everyone else in the room was either on the internet or talking about what just happened.

Mike walked over to the door and opened it. Let’s just say it would’ve been better if Jessie were born blind, better off than paralyzed. Brit, Mike’s girlfriend was standing in the doorway. She had a huge smile on her face when she glanced into Mike’s eyes.

“Hey babe. You forgot your cell phone. Just thought you might need it.” She said shyly. Smiling, she leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. He closed his eyes and kissed her back, letting out a soft moan.

Oh god I hope Jessie isn’t watching this.

Aww crap she is. Uhh why is her face getting all red? And why is… she… shaking. Uhh is it normal when a person’s eyes start to open so wide that they almost bulge out of their skulls? No. DIDN’T THINK SO!


“Look away.” I whispered to Jessie. No response. “Look… AWAY!” I repeated. She still sat there, eyes glued on Mike and Brit. I looked over at Mike, still happily kissing Brit, then back to Jessie. She was getting more and more mad by the second. Then, surprisingly, smiled. Not a normal smile either. Ohhhh no. It was one of those evil, manipulative smiles.

“Watch this.” She said, adjusting herself in her chair. She leaned forward in her seat and tried throwing herself to the ground.

“Ohhhh no you don’t,” I said, holding her back.

Damn this chick is fuckin strong.

Randomly, hippo came flying in the room and snuck up behind me. As I was holding her back, the hippo screamed ‘MOO!’ really loud. (GUYS I M SORRY FOR THIS PART! MY COUSIN WAS BEGGING ME TO BE A HIPPO WHO CAN FLY AND SCREAMS MOO. LMAOO) I jumped out of my seat, losing my grip on Jessie, as she fell to the floor with a loud THUD. (The hippo disappeared THANK GOD!)

Mike looked over to where Jessie was lying on the floor, as she let out a small cry for help. He scrimmaged over to where she was laying and lifted her up bridal style. “Are you ok dude? You took a pretty hard fall there.”

She looked at him, her attention-hungry eyes burned into his. “I m better now that I m with you.” She stated. She looked over at Brit. Her eyes looked became angry. Brit knew what was going on. Just to spite her, Jessie leaned over and kissed Mike ever so lightly on the cheek. “Thanks, Mike. You can put me down now.” She said innocently. Mike blushed a little and placed her back in her seat. He turned around to walk back to Brit, and as soon as he did, Jessie stuck her tongue out at Brit.

Brit gasped and glared at her evilly. She then walked up to Mike and kissed him again. This time, it wasn’t like before. It was with more passion and tongue, oh yes a lot of tongue. Kinda sickening to watch.

“Woah.” Mike said with surprise. “Uhh I would like to continue but I got five more minutes left of this class. I’ll meet you by the car in a few. Ok?” he asked.

“Why wait til then? I heard the janitors closet is empty.” She smiled mischievously and then bit her bottom lip. Grabbing at his shirt and pulling him in for another kiss. “See ya there.” She mumbled and walked out of the room.

Eww. What a horny fuck. And why is she getting jealous over a fuckin teenager? Fuckin blonde broad. Whatever.

“So. We got five more minutes left. What do you guys wanna do? AND PLEASE! Keep it rated PG. No more pulling out peoples piercings. Even though it was pretty fuckin cool.”

“How about we fuckin blast music and teach these fuckers some real music. Or like mosh or something. I m bored out of my mind.” I stated. Mike looked at me and his face lit up. YAY FOR THIKNING OF GOOD IDEAS!

We quickly got onto the Internet and pulled up a play list. “Let’s see. Operation Ivy, The Ramones, Blink 182. Oh here we go. I think this will rise up to the occasion.” Mike explained. He stood up and spoke again. “This my friends is real music. The Sex Pistols. Schools are Prisons. Now I heard mosh. WHOSE WITH ME?!” He yelled.

A few students that actually listened to rock stood up and took off their jackets and sweatshirts. The music began blaring from the speakers of the main computer. We started a circle skipping around in a small circle for the first 10 seconds of the song, until BAM! We closed in, everyone ran into the middle of the circle at once jumping up and down, slapping, hitting, punching and kicking. The others that didn’t care to join us, stared at us like we were fuckin maniacs throughout the whole song.

The music finally ended and we all collapsed to the floor. I looked around to find about 10 students lying on the floor sweating like crazy and some even bleeding. We all started laughing simultaneously with the ringing of the bell. Whoever was online ran out of the room as the rest of us stood up and got our stuff together. Little by little we all leaked out of the room, wishing each other happy holidays and happy new years.

It came down to Dannie, Jessie and I in the room with Mike. We all stood with each other in silence for a few seconds before Jessie spoke.

“Mike. It was a fuckin honor to meet you. I swear to god I had a panic attack when I came in here and I think I still am. Aha. Well what I m try to say is. I LOVE YOU! CAN I MOVE IN?!” she blurted out. We all laughed and Mike shook his head.

“aha I m sorry. And thanks. Uhh here.” He said, grabbing a piece of paper and signing it. “To my dearest friend Jessie. We had a fuckin blast together today. You’re an awesome person. Rock on and stay true. With love, Mike Dirnt.” He handed her the paper and I m surprised she didn’t pass out.

Jessie’s Para came in and gripped her wheelchair. Mike hugged her before she left and she was wheeled down the hallway. Dannie and I stood there looking at Mike. “Well. We gotta get going Mike. It was awesome hanging out with you. We should totally do it again.” I said. He shook his head and hugged Dannie and I. Unlike Jessie, we easily pulled away from the hug and walked towards the door.

Shutting the door behind me, I smiled at Dannie and she smiled back. “Well I gotta go to Suens class. I’ll talk to you later.” She said. As she turned the other way.

“Later.” I said, heading for the basement of the school.

Great guitar class again. Conceded ass guitar players and a pot head teacher. If only this class could be as exciting as my last two classes where. But HEY. Ya never know. Things don’t always turn out the way you expect them too.