Her Flux

“Cecile…” Erica’s voice was barely a whisper. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears. She wiped them off hoping that the scene in front of her would change if she did. But no, the same person stood, a shovel in her hand. “Arthur…” her hands flew to her mouth. “Vilemina, what have you done?” she shrieked.

Vilemina lowered her gaze to her hands, her fingers tightening around the shovel stick. One of her hands released it and it dragged the white hat off her head. Like a golden waterfall her long hair fell over her shoulders as she threw her hat away and lifted her chin to look fiercely into Erica’s eyes. Slowly a smirk occupied her lips and the orange flickering light emanating from the lantern Cecile had dropped previously, made her green eyes look as menacing as a demon’s. “What have I done? This is not my fault. If you hadn’t healed his sister and he hadn’t come running here to tell you, none of this would have happened.”

“So it was you… You told the council.”

“Well it seems as you are not as naïve as I thought you were,” she laughed as Erica tried to run to the unconscious bodies of her friends. “Stay where you are!” Vilemina ordered, raising the shovel high. Akil neighed loudly from behind her, jumping on his two back legs. “And calm that pest down! Oh I always hated that horse. It almost ruined my plans last time by meddling!”

“Last time?” Erica asked trying to calm down the horse by pulling the reins down. Finally, Erica understood. “Akil was not the one that hit Nathanial that day was he?” She turned around anger flowing through her veins now. “It was you!” she pointed her finger fiercely. “Why? What have I ever done to you? What has Nathanial ever done to you? You could have killed him that day!”

Vilemina huffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh please, I knew you would save him and I needed you to let your guard down. I needed more people to know what you could do,” she explained as she took a rope off the wall and threw it at her feet. “Pick it up and tie these two against that pillar. Now! Or I will not hesitate to kill you!” Erica picked up the rope and obeyed Vilemina. Her heart and her mind were a hazardous mess right now. Her closest friend, the one she grew up with, the one she shared so many secrets had just betrayed her and for what reason?

“Why are you doing this?” Erica asked through sobs as she tried to tie the both ends of the rope around Arthur and Cecil together.

“Oh well they are going to burn you tonight like they burned my mother so I might as well ease your last half hour.”

“Your mother?” Erica asked from where she was kneeling next to Cecile and holding her face in her palm. The poor old lady had blood running down her temple and she couldn’t do a thing to help her.

“Yes my mother! She was one of your kind and on the night when the council killed her you precious Whitelighters never came to her aid. And tonight they are giving you a choice and they are praising you for being born at a special time. But I know one thing for sure,” Vilemina smirked at this. “Once you are in the hands of those angry humans, accused of being a witch and tied up against a pillar, they will not come for they do not make public appearances. Their existence is far too precious to them and they will not come running down to help you. And then, because you are so bloody special, they will feel the lost of an important member as I lost my mother!”

“Please Vilemina, come to your senses,” Erica pleaded on her knees. “My family gave you and your father shelter and food when everybody had turned their backs on you. George wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“My father is a fool that never did anything to revenge the death of his wife. My father is a weakling!”

“Vilemina for the love of God please. Let me help Cecile and-”

“And lose consciousness? I know what happens to you after you heal people. It happened when you healed your father and Nathanial.”

At the mention of his name, Erica’s anger flared once more. “What did Nathanial ever do to you?!”

“He chose you!” she retorted. She was furious and she took a moment to calm down before continuing. “When he was not with you, he was kind to me. He was the only man that I’ve ever loved and you just had to snap him for yourself. The poor and naïve Erica that cried over her unfair and abnormal destiny got to him. But that day I knew that he would survive. I loved him. I did not mean him any harm. I was not supposed to hit him that hard, but your little pet over there,” she pointed to Akil with a scowl. “Interfered! Stupid horse, I should have put poison in his drinking water when I had the chance. I thought that when Nathanial found out, he would be repulsed by you, but no. And last night, when he snuck into your room I felt this anger inside of me.”

“You made him go away?” Erica stood up.

“Oh bloody hell no. That just worked out well. His uncle brought him a letter of some sort and he grabbed the first horse he saw and was off. He left a note behind. Too bad you will never read it.”

“So now we know who the witch amid us is.”

“Oh enough! Enough story telling. Move out,” Vilemina pulled the door open.

“Where to?”

“Outside. Did you not wish for the world to see you? Here is your second chance,” she pushed her out on the cold. Vilemina dropped the shovel and pulled out a small knife from the inside of her boot. She followed behind her, ordering her to move towards the dirt road that leaded to Clun. The skies were darker than they ever were and thunder cut through it. For a moment, Erica hoped that maybe someone from up there was going to come down and help her. But as she walked no one did and she started to believe Vilemina’s words. What if she died tonight? Where would she end up? She couldn’t help the tears that rushed down her moist cheeks as her feet moved through the cold snow. The clouds were fighting, but nothing was happening. No rain. No snow. No angels.

As soon as they stepped on the dirt road, Erica could see the fire torches that burned like small dots in the distance. She knew that they were the people from last time and Vilemina was making their job easier by leading her towards them. Midnight was right around the corner and if she was to glow when it came, she was done for.

“What did you do to my parents?” Erica stopped to ask. Vilemina pushed her shoulder and Erica tripped on her foot and fell down. Her face met the snowy ground and she tasted the iron flavor of the blood in her nose. She managed to pick herself up a bit on her elbows.

“I did nothing to them! God knows where they are.”

“I swear, if you did anything to them I will-”

“You will do what? You can barely save yourself from your destiny,” She shouted kneeling down next to her, pushing the knife beneath her throat. “I should kill you right here and right now and be done with it.” Feeling the cool blade on her skin and seeing the hatred that lit Vilemina’s green orbs on fire, didn’t make her doubt she would go through with that atrocious act. In that life-threatening moment she could see all her life passing in front of her eyes. What has she done to be remembered for? Nothing. Ten nights ago, most of Ludlow thought her dead and ten nights ago she was the happiest person alive. Her life seamed to be a planned out event that would carry on being. And Nathanial. Oh her dear Nathanial. She would never see his handsome features again. She would never get lost in his ocean colored eyes. She would never again feel the warm touch of his finger tips across her skin, for the only touch she could feel now was the one of the cold blade under her chin.

And that sound… She would never hear the sound of Nathanial’s voice mixed with the trot of whatever horse he was on, calling her name out from the distance. “Erica,” she could hear his voice as an old song lost in her memories. It kept calling her name and he was desperate and panting. “Erica,” her name sounded so well on his lips. “Erica!” and strangely it sounded to be very close. When she opened her eyes her vision was blurry from the tears and all of a sudden the landscape in front of her was spinning. She realized that she was being forcedly pulled up to her feet and she felt the hot and almost scared breath of Vilemina on the back of her neck. The blade was still under her chin and it was pressed deeper than before.

“Erica!” As soon as her eyelids worked through the river of tears, Erica could see who was in front of her. From the darkness, an even darker horse appeared and on it was the one she thought was gone forever. Nathanial slid off the horse, his eyes confused and his hair a hectic mess, tangled around his shoulders. His pushed his cloak back as he grabbed a hold of the horse’s reins and moved towards the two of them. But once his eyes captured the sight of the blade and the tear stained face of Erica, he froze in mid-step, pulling the horse to a halt. “What in the name of heavens is going on here? Vilemina-”

A loud gunshot cut him off and a new voice was heard. “Drop the knife Vilemina,” the deep voice said gravely and the rustling sound of boots walking on snow was heard. When the stranger came near, the weak light of the night discovered his features.

Lord David.

His glowed fingers held a pistol and gray smoke was coming out of it. He had been the one to fire that shot and his pointer finger was set on the trigger again. “Well, well, well. This is turning out to be one hell of a night,” he said with a smile. “Drop the knife Vilemina or I will have your head and trust me,” he smirked and took another step towards them. “I am a very good shot!”

“You think it is that easy? That I will just-” Vilemina had no time to finish her sentence for a pair of strong hands grabbed her own and twisted her wrists. She dropped the knife and screamed as she struggled with Nathanial’s hands. Erica ran to the Lord David’s side and she tried to catch her breath. But Vilemina was not the one to give up easily. She kicked as hard as she could. But the most peculiar thing happened. In one moment, Nathanial was battling her fierce strength and in the other, her body was falling lifelessly in his arms. He raised his head and saw that his uncle had fired yet another shot and it ended up in her right shoulder. Blood stained his hands and he dropped her, looking incredulously at Lord David. He blew the smoke that was coming out of his handgun as if this was a game.

“Was that absolutely necessary?!” Nathanial demanded as he wiped his bloody hands off his cloak. He felt dirty and guilty and he wanted to wash away the liquid that was burning holes in his soul. His steps along with his blood froze on a spot in the snow, when he saw the handgun raised in his uncle’s hands and pointed directly at his forehead. “U-uncle…”

“Put down the gun this instant,” Erica shouted hurling herself on his arm. But he only twisted her hands and grabbed her neck, holding her firmly against his chest.

“Shut the hell up woman! And you!” he shouted still pointing the weapon at a bewildered Nathanial. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to be on your way to London!”

“I saw Aunt Harriet halfway and she informed me of your lies! How could you tell me that my mother was dead? Have you no honor?”

“Honor? You speak of honor when you have been disobeying and lying to me from the bare start?! Did I not tell you to stay away from this family? Did I not tell you to stay away from her in particular?!” Lord David shouted moving his gun from Nathanial’s forehead to Erica’s temple. She sucked a breath and struggled to get free.

“Let her go you bastard!” Nathanial shouted taking a firm step forwards, but stopped when the gun was once again pointing him.

“I need her alive, Nathanial. It is almost midnight.”

“What do you need her for you bloody traitor?”

“I will not discuss it with you,” he looked behind Nathanial, from the bleeding body of Vilemina to the mob that was getting closer. “Foolish girl! She complicated things. To the back garden. Now!” Lord David motioned to Nathanial while still holding on to Erica. Leaving Vilemina’s body to lay behind, they all moved through the darkness and made their way into the garden. They stopped in front of the fountain and Lord David pushed Erica into Nathanial’s arms, pointing the gun at the both of them. Nathanial pulled her behind, holding on her hands that wrapped around his waist. “Say your goodbyes,” he pulled out a round golden pocket watch that was connected to his waist coat with a small chain. “It is a minute to midnight. They will be here any second now.”

“Who will?” Nathanial asked. His body was still in front of Erica’s and he was trying his best to keep her covered.

“The Elders. They will make a grand entry. Nathanial,” he said his voice softer. “I do not wish to kill you. You are like a son to me,” he said.

“Then why are you doing this?”

“If you do not pull aside right now I will have to kill you,” he said and Erica clutched onto his cloak even tighter.

“Please,” she begged. “The people Vilemina called are going to be here soon. The Elders will not appear in front of the humans.”

Lord David laughed. He laughed. “How little do you know of this Erica. Oh, but why explain when you are about to witness it all. Nathanial,” he said more serious now. “Stand aside!”

“No! We love each other and I will not let you harm her.”

“Oh, do not be such an easy to gull fool!” Lord David shouted angrily. “Do you not see that she is built to deceive? Can you not understand that every Whitelighter is this way? They convince you in their innocence and perfection. They allure you and make you their slaves. No human is as beautiful or as pure as they try to deceive you of being! And do you not see that she is incapable of loving you? She knows nothing of love. She will declare to love the first one that pays her attention and it just happened to be you! She is broken Nathanial and there is nothing you or any other young fool can do about it!”

“You know nothing about her!” was the last thing Nathanial said before he pushed Erica back and ran towards his uncle. But before he could even reach him, another shot was heard and this bullet dug itself into Nathanial’s stomach, right below his heart. His body fell heavily onto the ground and Erica’s piercing scream echoed. She fell on her knees next to his bleeding body. Her hands enveloped his torso and the only thing she could think of doing at the moment, was healing him. She laid him down and put both her hands atop his stomach, focusing all her energy on the bleeding wound. She waited and waited, but her hands were as pale as before. She was hardly glowing and she watched with panic as Nathanial slipped in and out of consciousness.

“What have you done? Why can’t I heal him?!” She screamed at Lord David. He had a perturbed look washed over his features and he seamed to stare forever at Nathanial’s body.

“I…” he cleared his throat. “Leave him be. Your time is up…” he said and grabbed her hand, this time he didn’t point the gun at her.

Erica wanted to fight him off and yell a good piece of her mind to him, but her eyes caught something up on the sky. The clouds stopped moving and the wind died up. Nathanial was not wincing in pain anymore. He was not moving at all. She pushed Lord David off and she turned around. In the distance she could see the mob frozen. The villagers did not move an inch and the fire on their torches had also stopped. Everything around her seemed as one big unrealistic photo and the only ones blinking and breathing were she and Lord David. “What is happening?”

“They are here,” he repeated.

“Who?” She cried out. He did not answer, so she followed his eyes to the sky. A star burned a hole in the dark gray clouds and it shone as bright as the moon. It started off as a small ball, but then it expanded. It seamed to flicker and shift shape as it traveled towards the Earth in great speed. When it was close enough it slowed down and took a moment to float atop the ground. Its ball-shaped celestial body was so eye blinding, it made Erica cover her eyes. Slowly, it started to overtake a human shape and as soon as Erica’s hands pulled the safety shadow off her eyes, she saw her face. It was a woman and she wore a white cloak with a white robe underneath. The woman opened her eyes and pulled her hood off. Her eyes blinked as they grew accustomed to the dark seeing as she was the only light around.

“Erica…” the woman had a pale and soft face, eyes a shade of gray and golden hair. She moved towards her. Her face held a large, welcoming smile and her figure glowed. But she stopped when her eyes landed on Lord David. Her beautiful smile turned into a frown and her hands fell to her sides. “Davidus?” she asked surprised.

“Meredith,” he said. “It has been a long time, has it not? How come they only sent you?”

“What is going on here?” Erica asked looking between the both of them, but her question went unnoticed.

“Why are you here?”

“Surprised to see me, my dear Meredith? It is partly your fault I am here tonight. You see, that revival spell you did eighteen years ago, brought all of my memories back, though her birth did most of the trick. Everything our kind wished to steal from me. Oh Meredith, you look so unchanged,” he laughed. “And rest your eyes upon my skin. It is starting to sag. I am turning into an old man Meredith and I not liking it one bit.”

“You have only yourself to blame Davidus. If you had not-”

“Betrayed our Elder in order to take his place I would not be suffering these consequences. I know my faults dear Meredith,” he said still holding onto Erica’s forearm. Meredith’s eyes narrowed and she stared at him disdainfully. Erica could only watch, for she did not understand a word. Lord David was not himself. What had been the name she referred to him as… Davidus? Meredith’s lips parted for a moment, but Lord David-no Davidus-spoke first:

“How did you dare turn me into a human again and send me to walk on the lands of Earth like a mere mortal?!

“Let Erica go,” Meredith warned with a firm step forwards.

“Oh, where are our manners. We completely forgot about Erica. Shall we tell her the story? Oh please be the one that tells it. Frankly, I have always loved your voice.”

“Davidus, where is this leading?”

He raised his handgun once again and pointed it at Erica’s head. “She is still human and she is still alive. I killed her once. I would not hesitate to do it again.”

“You killed her?”

“Oh what the hell. I will tell her! You see Erica, when I died, I was given a choice. I could move in the afterlife or I could become a Whitelighter. As every human I feared the unknown so I accepted the offer. I was granted half the powers you are about to receive. You ask why only a half? Well my dear, it was because I was only a simple human, born on the beginning of an insignificant year. You Erica are born on the beginning of this century, which makes you very special. It makes you one of them,” he pointed to Meredith. “Meredith…” he paused to laugh. “Meredith as in noted ruler. She is a ruler and she was born few centuries back. Only unlike yourself, she died a natural death and the unfair part is that if you were a simple human like myself, Meredith would have not wasted precious revival spell. It weakens her and every single whitelighter on this Earth. Weakened Whitelighters are an easy target of demons,” at the word ‘demons’ Erica’s eyes widened in fear. “Yes my dear Erica, demons. You did not think that ‘rotting in hell’ was just a figure of speech did you? To cut my story short, I rebelled against those rules. I just-”

“If you had rebelled things would have gone differently Davidus! Your attempts of rebellion as you called them were nothing but vicious betrayals of our kind! You killed an Elder knowing that it would break the balance of good and evil and you bargained your soul with the demons for power! There is no going back from such exhibition of disloyalty. And you still have the courage and ask me why we punished you with a life of a mortal?”

“You had no right!”

“You should have not betrayed us!” Meredith shouted, her hands glowing all of a sudden. Her skin tightened around her bones and her gray eyes became lustrous. In a moment, her beautiful face turned into what only could be called a scary witch. Davidus’s eyes widened in alert and he pulled Erica in front of him, using her as a shield as if reminding Meredith that he could still kill her. “I will ask you one last time: why are you here?”

A sick, twisted smile, followed by his evil laugh made Meredith stop. “To get my revenge! I may never have the chance to return to the heavens, but tonight, by killing a precious Elder once more I am going to break the balance. You said it yourself,” his finger tightened around the trigger. “Once you sell your soul to the demons, there is no going back. And after tonight,” he smirked. “They will welcome me as a hero. And I know you cannot kill me. It is against the rules.”

He pushed Erica forwards and pulled the trigger. The bullet left the barrel of the gun and when it was just about to collide with Erica’s body, it exploded into hundreds of tiny little glowing dots. Davidus spend the last second he had to look at his gun, for when he looked back at Meredith, she was raising her hands and was channeling all her energy towards him. The light that emanated from her hands went through his body and burned his flesh. His cries were ear piercing and he cursed all of them one last time before he turned into nothing but silver dust and fell upon the snow.

Erica watched with horror as Meredith’s glow reduced and she was once more herself. A sigh of relief escaped her lips before she turned back to Erica. Her gray eyes were once more normal and warm and her skin was soft and porcelain. “Erica,” she said after seeing her scared expression. “You should not fear me.”

“What did you do to him?”

“I banished him to the underworld. There was a reason why they only sent me down here. They knew that he was getting old and reckless. The only thing that held him hidden from our eyes was his pact with the demons.”

“But you sent him to them.”

“They will not welcome him once they know that he has failed. Now,” she reached her hand out. “Let us go.”

“Mother said I would have to make a choice. I wish to stay. I want to save Nathanial,” she said running to where his body was lying. She knelt next to him, enveloping him in a hug.

“Erica... There is something you should know,” she paused to give her a sad look. “You time of healing on this Earth is over. You have to make that choice now. If you decide to come with us, I will let you heal him. But if you decide to stay, then you will have to face the consequences.”

“What consequences?” Her voice faltered at the end.

Meredith pointed to the mob that was still unmoving and then to Nathanial. “If you stay, you will lose all of your powers and if you do, you cannot save him. The humans Vilemina called will take you away as a witch and I am afraid we cannot intervene then.”

“So Vilemina was right,” she brushed her tears away. “You left her mother to die?”

“Her mother was never one of us. Her mother was a demon trying to escape her own kind. And sadly, on the day of her execution, none of the demons came to her rescue.”

“But why did Vilemina think she was one of you...” she hesitated. “Of us?”

“I do not know. Free will is what prevents us from seeing into people’s minds. As I said, we cannot intervene into people’s lives or their decision. If we do, we risk losing the balance we try so hard and keep.”

“If I say yes, what will happen with the mob?”

“They will not remember a thing.”

“And Vilemina?”

“I am afraid she has already moved in the afterlife. Now, what is your verdict?”

Erica looked down at Nathanial, who was resting lifeless in her hands. His eyes were closed preventing her from enjoying the view she loved so much. The view to his soul. She thought about staying on Earth. She had to stay. She had promised. But, what life was expecting her? She would be burned and Nathanial would die. She hadn’t the right of ruining his life like that. He was still young and although it pained her to think this way –he still had time to find someone else and fall in love. Her heart clenched with every rational thought that crossed her mind, but she couldn’t just go back to nothing and offer nothing to the one she loved. At least, if she became a Whitelighter she would leave something, someone behind to remember her, because deep inside she feared that once she had left, she would be forgotten.

She ran her fingers over the side of his face, resting her hand on his cheek. She leaned down and kissed his cold lips one last time and lay him down. “I will come with you,” she answered.

Meredith smiled and reached out both her hands. Erica cast one last glance at Nathanial before accepting them. As soon as her skin touched hers, Meredith’s light transferred into Erica’s body. Million of stars burned holes through the dark clouds, each shining upon them. The skin on Erica’s hands started to glister and she moved and wrapped them around herself. Her body turned into a ball of light same as the one Meredith had been before. When the light finally started to wan and the ball shaped back into Erica’s body, she was wearing a white cloak and a white robe underneath it. She looked at the back of her hands.

To her it was as if nothing had changed, but the wide smile on Meredith’s face said otherwise. She motioned a hand towards Nathanial and Erica did not waste a second and heal him. And this time, she did not collapse. A moment after that Erica could feel the wind on her wet cheeks again. The clouds started moving once more and air filled Nathanial’s chest. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled when he saw Erica’s face. She helped him to a sitting position and hugged him.

“Erica…” he whispered. His head was still one big mess and he had the same dream as the first time Erica had healed him.

“I have to go,” she said pulling away, letting the cold air fill the place between his arms.

“What, why?” He tried to stand up, but his head was spinning along with most of the landscape.

“I love you,” she whispered as she walked back to Meredith’s side. “Let us go. Hurry!”

“Erica wait!” Nathanial pulled himself up. “Erica please, you promised!” He shouted and took weary steps towards her. His head was still a hazardous mess and the edges of his vision were starting to get blurry.

“Remember me…” Was the last whisper that came from Erica’s lips, before Meredith and she turned into small balls of light and traveled in a great speed towards the sky. He fell onto his knees, hot tears enhancing his pain. He could not understand a thing and yet he knew very well what had happened. She had left. She had left and he was alone. In the distance he could hear the voices of Thomas, Addison and George, running towards him. It was George who found them locked. But he could not care less. The only thing he could do was look at the sky that was dark once more and wait. Wait for her return.
If there was ever one.