Infinite

Red calls and says that they are heading back to the club. I ask Gerard if he wants to come, against my better judgement.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to faint on me,” he says, and I laugh.

“Hey, I’m not making any promises.”

As we start to walk down the sidewalk, Gerard pulls the hood over his head.

“Keeps the fangirls away,” he says, and I shake my head in disbelief.

“You don't like them?” I say, an bite my lip while waiting for his reaction. I didn’t mean for it to sound like an accusation.

“I love fans,” he says, giving me a sideway smile. “It’s just… I don’t know, it’s just the ‘I want to have sex with Gerard’ that I’m uncomfortable with. It’s just not about the music.”

I nod, not really knowing what to say. When I started listening to My Chemical Romance I often asked myself whether I liked them because of the music or because I thought they were cute or hot, but as I grew older, those thoughts weren’t needed – because there has been times when the darkness didn’t seem to have and end to it, and listening to My Chem made me feel better.

Well, I would sleep with Gerard if he wanted me to. That's just the way it is. I am human, after all.

We go down the stairs leading to the underground club. Karl and Red are sitting by the closed bar, talking, and Noel is a few tables away, talking to what seems to be a sound tech.

“Gerard!!!” Jamie squeals when she sees him, and immediately runs towards him.

“Jamie!!!” he squeals back, and bend down to give her a bear hug. Life is simple when you’re five years old.

“What’s you doing here?”

“Well, I was walking into Starbucks and there I saw Aubrey, so I thought I’d stay and talk to her. And then I wanted to come back with her so I could see you, of course!”

Jamie’s eyes go wide.

“Really?” she says, showing off her cute white teeth in a smile.

“Yes, really!”

“Awesome! Can I get a piggyback ride?”

With Jamie positioned on Gerard’s shoulders, we walk over to the rest of the band. Karl has now acknowledged that I’m not alone, and gives me a surprised look before laughing out loud.

“Well this was a bit… random. Aubrey, we’ve talked about this, you can’t go around kidnapping people!” he says, and I roll my eyes. Gerard just laughs.

“If you must know, Karl, Gerard came here out of his own free will."

“Whatever you say.” He gets up from his seat to shake Gerard’s hand. “Karl Henderson, nice to meet you… and don’t go anywhere alone with her, you don’t know how many times we’ve had to pry her from the television screen when she’s watching some dvd with you in it…”

“Shut up, Karl.”

“Sorry, that was a lie. Aubrey’s a really nice girl,” Karl says, and Gerard, who has been shaking with suppressed laughter during Karl’s little monologue, says:

“Yeah, I’m sure she is,” smiling at me.

Remember what I said about crazy butterflies? Forget about the crack – now it feels like they’re going to start pouring out of my mouth any second.

“This quiet man here is Red Baker, drums, and over there is Noel Murray who plays bass,” Karl says, pointing them out to Gerard.

Red is eyeing Gerard up and down, like he’s trying to work out how much of a danger he is to us. I want to kick him in the shin for being so rude, but manage not to. It’s not my fault Red’s being an ass.

Oblivious to Red’s vicious stares, Gerard starts talking to Karl about the other bands playing tonight, still with Jamie on his shoulders. She seems perfectly content with life, playing with Gerard’s hair and looking at the world from another perspective.

I dig up my cell phone from my pocket to check the time – soundcheck starts in half an hour, but none of the other bands seem to be here yet. I ask Red about this, partly to make him stop throwing hateful looks at Gerard. What’s the matter with him, anyway? I know he doesn’t like MCR, but this is taking it a bit too far.

“I dunno,” he says, looking gloomy. “They’ll be here, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worrying, I was just asking,” I say, trying not to echo his annoyed tone of voice.

Just then, a bunch of guys stumble down the stairs. All of them are dressed like you expect the members of an emo/punk/rock band to be dressed, chucks and eyeliner and drainpipe jeans as far as the eye can see. They straighten themselves out and look around, and after seeing us, they walk over.

“Are you playing here too?” a guy with green bangs and the rest of his hair black and cut short says, looking between Red and me, and when I nod he looks over at Karl and Gerard. “Hey, you’re Gerard Way!”

“Yes, I am,” Gerard says, letting Jamie down on the floor (‘I don’t wanna go down!’).

The rest of the guy’s band file up next to him, all of them looking at Gerard with shocked confusion on their faces without saying anything.

“So, people, who are you exactly?” Karl says, saving Gerard from further embarrassment.

The newcomers introduce themselves as a band called Mourning Dove. They all seem nice enough, but I have more important things to worry about – one of them being the fact that three of the members of my favorite band are going to see us play. I go talk to Noel and his new friend the sound tech to ease my nerves. Soon we’re joined by Gerard and Jamie, the first of which has grown tired of being stared at by Mourning Dove and the second just following Gerard because he is, well, Gerard.

“When are Ray and Frank coming?” I ask, trying to seem natural.

“Not until later, I think… They’re off visiting girlfriends and family,” Gerard says. I quirk an eyebrow.

“Why aren’t you?”

He shrugs.

“My parents are on vacation. I’m staying at a hotel, didn’t want to be in an empty house… and well, since I’m without girlfriend at the moment…” he trails off, and I don’t ask more since it would feel like prying. And why do I get all happy because he doesn’t have a girlfriend? He apparently doesn’t like talking about it, suggesting he’s not delighted with life as single. I have nothing to be happy about. I really don't.

A vast number of possibilities don’t cross my mind at all.