The Seaside

She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, it didn't help in the salty, ocean wind. The sky had clouds coming in fast, blocking out the sun and any hopes of a beautiful day. There was a strange coolness in the wind, like a hint that there was rain to come. We're not the only ones waiting, there's crowds making this seem so much less intimate. Her wavy hair secured in a loose bun, not doing a good job of holding her hair up. I suck in air, I have to remember to keep breathing.

A loud horn blows and she sighs, panicked and rushed due to the reminder that she's leaving. Her bright green eyes dancing around to the boat and back to me, she fixes her beige sundress, loose but clutched to her waist with a brown braided belt. The thin straps that had fallen off her shoulder. The sun's kiss is obvious on her freckled face, but she simply smiles at me and brings her soft hand to my cheek. Another breath.

"You don't have to go," I say, even though I know I'm lying. She gives me a smile for my failed attempt and tears pooling in her eyes give her away. Her eyes always gave her away. We hear an older woman sobbing loudly and hugging a young man, probably her son and I wish that this could be anywhere but here.

"Yeah, I do," She says, and I know she does, but I can't help but want her close to me, so I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest. Breath. I breathe in some flower and summer, I breathed her. Little sobs are shaking in my arms and they draw her in closer.

"I-I," I can't find the words I want, no need to tell her. One fat raindrop falls on my head, but I don't move my head from next to hers. She looks up from my arms and there's desperation there. I don't know what for, but it's there.

"Jack," She whispers, her lips chapped from her anxiously biting them all week. I smile because it seems likes that's all I can do, I try to look at her face and capture this moment, more drops fall. Breath.

"I-I just can't even begin to imagine my life without you," I succumb to a whisper, as if it would make the people around us disappear, but oddly they do. They begin boarding as attendants begin warning that the boat is casting off soon. Some how she loosens my grip around her enough so that she can look at me, face-to-face.

"I know," She cups my face, her eyebrows raised. I look at that big boat, that big ugly boat holding her luggage and her fate on board. I hated that fucking boat. "Jack, I just want you to know that if there was any other way or maybe if this was another life, I would love you forever." Her words are well thought out and concise.

"But we're not and you won't," I say with scorn in my words. I run my hands through my hair and try as hard as I can to keep the tears from coming, because I can't have her remember me like this. The attendant warns her and she picks up her big bag and throws it on her shoulder, turning to board the boat. I grab her wrist and I give her a kiss. The last kiss I'll ever give her and she kisses me back, and I pray that its enough to make her stay. "May, please just stay," I beg of her and she hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek.

"I can't," she whispers before turning and running of the ramp the last minute. Rain drops of coming faster and faster, there's a whole burning inside of me. It's not fair, but since when is love fair? I wait, as the rain falls harder and people escape to their cars, I wait until the boat becomes a speck on the horizon and melts into the gray sky.

"Fuck," I whisper realizing the folded up paper in my jeans pocket. Hot tears are sliding down my cheeks. Frankly, I don't give a shit about being manly and dignity. "FUCK!" I yell into the empty air, the vacant pier I'm on being drowned out by the ocean. I crush the paper in my fist and stuff it back into my pocket looking around desperately. I opened it and saw a tiny line of scribbles that read 'I'll love you forever'. in her handwriting. Her promise she broke, I threw it, not quite sure where it landed. I almost immediately regretted it, seeing a white ball on the stormy sea. What do I do now? Isn't that the question of the ages.