Let the Rain Kiss Me in You

I kissed him. Didn’t mean to. Well, I did kinda. I am actually in love with him. Well, after getting rid of his 3 other girlfriends I guess I would have to be in mental denial to say I don’t when God knows I do. Whenever he talked about Ash, Mo, and Jazz I got pissed. Well, jealous is a synonymous word. Put whenever he gave them a nickname it was too far for me. I was the first person he gave a nickname to when we met. He was the first person to instead of call me Tasha or my whole name he was creative and called me Nae.

His smooth lips left mine but his eyes stabbed me. He smiled at me with his recently braces-free teeth. He looked so hot with them. But, looks hotter with them out of my way.

“Too long.” I said to him. He leaned back to me and his hand went to my leg and when his hand was behind my knee I lifted my leg as he ruggedly hoisted my calf up on him. He slightly leaned into me and I pulled him closer with my free hand. I thought of his muscles when he was the angel that brought me to the rain when I was on fire. I scratched lightly feeling him tense and he kissed me tensely before he started kissing down my neck. The last kiss on my shoulder was so soft. He sat up and pulled off his shirt. I just want to say that I….I lifted my hands up to him and pulled myself up to kiss him. Tell him with my mouth how sweet he is to me. He bit my lip and I let him in and I touch and tasted him as he did me. We were both breathing so heavily.

Just like that bastard did. My jaw set and I pushed him back and calmed down before it turned into a full blown shove. He pulled me into a hug and that made me feel stupid but that only showed me that I wasn’t ready. Of all times to be unprepared.

He got up and took off his pants and threw them in his messy corner and it was just like I know he did not just get me so, oh how I want to beat his face in right now. I love him and……shit.

I walked into the restroom.

“No.” But you love him.

“That’s why it’s no.” That’s why it should be yes.

“No agreement?” No agreement.

I sighed at my mentality being so non-mental and more insane and at the border of crazy waiting for a green card. Oh ha ha. Racist. Ugh! Shut up! Bryan? Why did you do this to me?

“What are you talkin’ bout. Idiot! You did this to yourself. Why the hell did you run to the school?” Oh yeah. Well, I knew that Bryan was gonna be there, that’s why. Shit!

I walked out of the door happier secretly because of the fact that I just talked to myself from to opposite point of views of my own mind.

“Nae?” I looked at him.

“I, umm, didn’t mean to do that?” he looked hurt. He loves you back? You knew that didn’t you? Shut up!

“What? So that didn’t happen?” he said smirking looking over to the bed that was still untidy and wrinkled.

“Exactly.” I said that but I meant to say don’t listen to her. She is high. Shut up!

“But that was too good not to happen.” He said walking towards me. Yeah it was good. It was what you planned to wait for. And you thought that all you had to do was wait till graduation and just call him a high school infatuation you creeper. Creeper? Yea. You know, like stalker. Shut up!

“Stop can’t think completely whenever you are too close anymore.” As if you could before all of this.

“And what? You think it’s easy for me?” What! No.
Ha! Told you he does love you! Or he is the stereotypical teenage stalker of crush gone serial killer. Opps Sorry.
You’re forgiven. Now I need a lie for him. He can’t. Makes it harder for me.

“You haven’t paid any attention to me since the end of middle school and all of a sudden you care just becca-” he stopped me and kissed me. Thank you that much bullshit can make a person nauseous. Shut up! And man I love his kisses. No. You love him. I stepped back at that though coming up again. For the millionth time. Breanna, Amber, Heather, why did you guys leave me here with this hot, sexy, smart, funny, loving, teenage boy!!! Who has a better life at high school. Let him be as you said in sophomore year.

“I just don’t want us to be together.” she said. Don’t smile. Mae-dae Captain, the Titanic has been hit, and Bryan is freezing. Scoot your ass over! Shut up! I smiled. Cause I would have scooted over. No! I set my face in a strange facial expression between a goofy love-sickening smile and a frown.

“Yet.” he added. “Us. Together. Yet.” I sighed in defeat. I need to embrace this just a little longer. He opened his arms and I stepped into the space between them and when I got my favorite scent again I had to kiss him. This time that was completely without any restraints. Damn cast! I need this hand! Naughty little girl. Shut UP!

“Our little secret.” I looked at him and he as usual looked too far to where others are afraid to look into. Was that little secret between us or you two? Shut Up! I pulled away from him. Why not sleep with him? Taking it a little fast don’t ya think? Shut up! I mean I want to sleep in his arms no sex included.

For now, right? Ugh!

“Nae. You are wrong.” I turned to look at him. “ All through High School, I have been thinking about only you.” I got in the bed and turned on the tv and turned up the volume. I turned away from him as I did my signature move. To silently cry. I sometimes even do this during classes and nobody notices.

I started thinking of the pros and cons of being with Bryan and all the automatic cons were wearing size twos and knowing Heather are not going to be coming to school in there own cars tomorrow. Bryan.

Bryan Bismuth. Natasha Copper. Natasha Bismuth. Oh my gosh! Elementary much!?