This Modern Love

Natalie was with Joanna and me in the car. Joanna insisted on making me look a tad more like a girl. She curled my hair and threw in some streaks of eyeliner. I kept my black spaghetti undershirt with tight jeans and a denim jacket. Joanna let me brush her super long hair, and put clips in it. Natalie did her own hair and make-up on the other side of the bathroom. She talked to Joanna, but wouldn’t even look at me. Joanna didn’t like Natalie much, but she talked to her because she was friendly like that.

“Whoa, is this the house?” Joanna asked, pointing to the yard that had people with red plastic cups dancing about.

“Welcome to a real high school party, folks,” I said with a smile.

I parked the car a few houses away from the party. Damage was bound to happen, and to be safe, it was good to park a little ways away from the crowd.

“Promise you won’t leave me?” Joanna whispered, lacing her arm through mine while we walked towards the front door.

I laughed and walked through the yard of people. Someone smacked my ass and yelled ‘dibs!’ behind me. I ignored it and walked into the mansion.

“Why didn’t you pop that guy in the face?” Joanna asked horrified.

“He’s not worth the trouble,” I replied, shaking my head.

There were people packed into the house like canned sardines. We managed to weasel our way through towards the living room. Shaun was standing by the back door talking to Gabe Miller with a beer in his hand. I saw Natalie run up to him and hug him. He kissed her and I instantly scanned the room or Scotty.

He was sitting on the couch with Apolo and JR. Kevin and Louie weren’t too far away. They were in the center of the living room. Kevin and Mason were holding up Louie while he did his keg stand.

Scotty didn’t see him when I walked in. He had one arm behind his head and the other holding a beer in his hand that was rested on his knee.

“I’ll be right back,” I yelled to Joanna. The music was so loud, that we couldn’t hear one another.

“I’m good now! I Found Kevin!” she shouted back, and walked over to Kevin, who was still hoisting Louie in the air.

I decided to be sneaky, and scare Scotty. I walked over towards him. JR noticed my presence, but the other two boys didn’t. I knocked his beer off of his lap and sat on top of him.

He looked shocked and let out a sharp breath. When he realized it was me, he clutched his heart with his free hand.

“Holy fuck, you scared me!” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. “I thought you were just some random chick sitting on my lap.”

I started laughing at him trying to catch his breath. Apolo and JR also found his sudden scared mood funny.

“Did you get scared that if it was a random girl, and she wanted to have fun that Candace would walk in at the exact wrong moment?” Apolo asked with a smug grin.

“That’s exactly what I was afraid of,” Scotty chuckled. “It would have looked horrible.”

Apolo and JR started laughing and gave each other high fives.

Scotty tucked a piece of curly hair behind my ear and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

“You look good, babe,” he said, rubbing my thigh.

“Thanks. I noticed you don’t have on a beanie,” I teased, rubbing my hand through his hair.

He started laughing and flattened his hair back down.

“Yeah, just didn’t feel like wearing it today.”

I slid off of Scotty’s lap and sat right next to him on the couch. He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my temple.

“Hey, Candace, I want you to meet somebody,” JR said, leaning over to get a good look at me.

“Oh yeah? Who?” I asked, leaning up.

He pointed at the blonde Barbie doll sitting next to him.

“Hi, I’m Laura,” she grinned in a high pitched voice.

I knew who she was. She was in the ring of the sluts at school.

“Hi, I’m Candace,” I replied with a smile as fake as her.

“Impressive, huh?” JR smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“How exactly did you get a hold of her?” I asked smugly.

“Well, JR is such a cutie,” she giggled, grabbing his cheeks. “And, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head!” Laura flipped her hair and licked her lips.

JR just sat smiling an ear-to-ear grin and nodding his head like he was the man.

I just smiled.

“Wow, that’s…that’s great!” I cheered.

Laura nodded quickly. “Isn’t it?”

I looked at Scotty who shook his head and shrugged.

“Hey bro,” JR began, slapping Scotty’s arm. “When was the last time you got laid?”

Scotty shook his head and started laughing. “Fuck you, man.”

“So you guys haven’t done it yet?” Apolo gasped.

Scotty just stared at him with raised eyebrows.

“No way, man! You used to be the Master! What have you done to my hero?!” Apolo yelled, throwing me dirty looks.

“I haven’t done anything to him!” I yelled back offended.

Apolo shook his head and slammed his back against the couch.

“Damn, dude. I thought you would have had sex again after the last time. That was so horrible,” JR said, shaking his head with sorrow.

I folded my arms and looked at Scotty, who shrugged.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked in a disapproving tone.

“I will!” JR Yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

I raised my eyebrows at him as a signal that he had my attention.

“I’ll tell her,” Scotty grumbled, waving his hand at JR. “So, I was with this girl, and we were going to do it. But, Jackass over here,” Scotty said, turning his head to Apolo giving him dirty looks. “Took my condoms. I told her I wouldn’t do it without a condom, and she told me that she was going to have sex with me either way. So I used a Doritos bag,” he explained with a grimace.

I opened my mouth in shock.

“A Doritos bag? You used a chip bag as a condom?” I asked disgusted.

Scotty shamefully nodded.

“There is no way you are getting near my shit with a chip bag,” I laughed.

He became less tense when he realized I was laughing at him.

“Oh my God, I have a story way worse than yours,” Laura chimed, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. “Okay, I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing ‘I'm so hard. Oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard,’ like Rihanna. So I gave him a blowjob,” she paused for a breath and giggled at my disgusted expression. “It gets worse, believe me,” she continued. “And then he drew a line on my forehead with his cum and whispered ‘Simba’.”

Of course Apolo, JR, and Scotty started cracking up laughing.

“Oh that’s bad,” I said, shaking my head.

“Yeah. I never talked to him again,” she informed me. “But there is something even worse that happened.”

“Dude, you mean funnier?” Apolo chuckled.

Laura rolled her eyes at him and continued with her story.

“So, when he came he screamed ‘MORTAL KOMBAT!’ at the top of his lungs and all of his room mates yelled back ‘FINISH HER!’ I was so mad,” she groaned.

Scotty nearly spit up his beer from laughing. Apolo was slapping his knee, roaring in laughter, and JR was leaning his head back, barely breath from laughing so hard.

“You sure do know how to pick them,” I said sympathetically.

She shook her head in disgust.

“Babe, what you do if I did that to you?” Scotty asked, recovering from his giggle fit.

“Uhm, I would slap the shit out of you,” I told him with out a smile.

He laughed and rubbed my shoulder.

“I would never do that to you,” he whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.

“So what is it with you two? I thought she was waiting for Tomato Paste?” JR asked Scotty.

“Nah, not anymore,” Scotty answered.

“So you’re not the co-boyfriend anymore?” he asked.

Scotty tilted his head in question.

“No, I don’t think so,” he answered slowly.

“I’m like a co-boyfriend. The main boyfriend pays for her birthday and Christmas, but I get all the action,” JR explained.

“Yeah, definitely not the Co-boyfriend,” Scotty replied.

“I still think you destroyed my hero,” Apolo grumbled.

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

“I did not,” I disagreed.

“Whatever. I’m going to pull a 1:45AM. Catch you cats on the flip side later,” Apolo said, slapping Scotty’s knee and leaving the couch.

“What’s a 1:45AM?” I asked curiously.

“Scotty, you want to tell her?” JR asked with a sick grin.

Scotty shook his head and waved his hand.

“He's doing the 1:45AM lap: He goes around the party, finds the hottest crying girl. 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredibly genius,” JR explained.

“Wow, that’s really nice of him,” I mumbled sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

“Talk to your boyfriend, he’s the one who invented it,” JR revealed, pointing his empty beer bottle at Scotty.

I gave Scotty a dark look. He ignored my gaze and looked the opposite way.

“E-excuse me,” someone said, tapping my shoulder.

I turned my head to see a blonde haired boy with sparkling blue eyes.

“Hi, I’m Peetu,” he said, extending his hand for me to shake. He had a very heavy accent.

I shook his hand and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Candace,” I replied.

He nodded, smiling nervously.

“I’m sorry; my English is not so good. I am new to America,” he informed me. “I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful.”

I smiled really big, feeling flattered.

“Aw, why thank you. Where are you from?” I asked sweetly. Foreigners always know how to sweet talk the ladies.

“I am from Finland. That is why my accent is so thick,” he answered, pointing to his throat.

A boy I knew walked up behind Peetu and grabbed his shoulders.

“Did you seal the deal yet, bud?” Danny asked. I should have known he was involved. Danny Davis was the biggest pig I’ve ever met. He was worse than JR and Apolo mixed together. He looked like a caveman with his long tangles hair and his thick unshaved beard.

“I do no know what you mean,” Peetu said with a confused smile.

“Did you tell her what I told you to say?” Danny asked.

“Oh, no. Not yet.”

“You’re killing me! Candace, Peetu wants to tell you something. Take it away, bud,” he instructed, patting his back.

“Oh, no. I can’t. I don’t get the joke,” Peetu disagreed.

Danny sighed and rolled his eyes.

“You know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements, and Peetu’s got it in his pants!” Danny joked, pointing to Peetu’s junk.

Scotty turned his attention towards the conversation that was taking place between Danny, Peetu, and I.

“Excuse me, but I would appreciate it if you quit talking to my girlfriend,” Scotty spat.

“Yeah? And I would appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking my client,” Danny shot back.

Scotty attempted to stand up, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the couch.

“Scotty, don’t,” I pleaded.

“Yeah, Lago. Listen to your little girlfriend,” Danny teased. “C’mon Peetu, we’ll find someone else for you to sleep with,” he said, and walked off with the Finnish kid.

“Candace,” Shaun said, tapping on my knee. “I want to talk to you for a second.”