Love in Theory and Practice: Chapters 1-13

Ville and I have been married for 3 glorious days. Of course we had to leave our little ‘lemmenpesä’ or ‘love nest’ as Ville likes to call it. And somehow, I managed to catch the flu on the way down to Australia. I finally manage to travel somewhere new that I’d actually like to visit and I come down with the flu.

Ville’s been an angel about it, however. He comes back to the hotel and checks on me every chance he gets. Or he calls. I’ve holed myself up in an attempt to recover quickly but it doesn’t look like it’s working; I’m bored and seem to be getting sicker.

They’re out filming a video for Scared to Death today and I wish I could be out there but Ville flat out refused to let me leave the hotel room.

He’s turned out to be an awesome husband (in the last few days anyway. Once I start going crazy I’m sure he’ll head for the hills.) He’s caring and loving without being smothering. Too many men fall in love with you and then cling to you like you’re the skin on their bodies. Luckily, Ville likes to give me space and take space for himself.

I had what only can be described as fever dreams last night. They were strange montages of my time with Ville, my mom, Nils, and James. Along with places I’ve never seen and Helsinki and Stockholm. Ville said I’d been muttered almost all night long and clinging to him. But now I’m rolled up in bed watching Great Expectations on instant play on Netflix while he works on the video with the rest of the band.

Ville and I haven’t had much time to discuss future plans in our relationship. I’m not sure if we’re going to try to have kids or if we’re just going to be a career couple. I’m going to start teaching and going back to school in the fall. I can work as a graduate teaching fellow while working towards a master’s degree then possibly a PhD.

Ville has briefly mentioned that he’d like to take a class or two as well so I’ve begun the process of enrolling him. It’s rather difficult to get a hold of any high school records but I’m persistent to a fault so I’ll find them.

I hear a gently click at the door that tells me Ville is back. He slips in quietly thinking maybe I’m asleep. But I pause my movie and roll over to face him.

“Don’t you look handsome,” I say in my best seductive voice and despite the nasal congestion, I still make him blush.

“Don’t you look cozy,” he replies before sliding into the sheets beside me.

“Don’t come near me!” I squeal and wiggle away from him. “You can’t be sick too! You’re too important!”

“Darling, I slept beside you all last night and the night before that and the night before that. We’ve had sex. If I’m going to get it, I’m going to get it. Besides, I’ve been sick on the road before.” He slips further towards me and wraps his arms around me and buries his face in between my shoulder blades.

“Well alright. But you can’t say I didn’t warn you.” He nods his head against my back.

“You’re burning up.” He says and places his cheek flat against my back. The coolness of his skin is wonderful on my hot skin. He pulls back and begins to rub my shoulders with his cold hands.

“I’m aware. How’s the video coming?” I ask. My head involuntarily leans forward under the pressure from his hands. And my eyelids get heavy and close.

“It’s good. I really think you’re going to like it.” He mumbles. He slides his arms around my body and pulls me into his chest. We lay like that for a few minutes.

“I’m getting up now.” I say and untangle myself from his arms. I throw back the covers and sit up. The air conditioning of the hotel room chills me more than I had anticipated but I push through the shivers.

“But you need rest, love.” He says without any real conviction from his place in the pillows.

“That’s all well and good but I’m going to take some medicine and go out for just a little while. I can’t stand laying here all day.” I make my way into the bathroom and begin to get ready. “I can rest later.”

“We can rest together later?” he suggests. I peep my head out of the bathroom door and nod vigorously at him. He smiles and leans back into the pillows. Resting with Ville means watching films, listening to music or reading together. It’s brilliant.

Even though I feel like shit, I know that some time outside will make me feel better. Sitting around doing nothing always makes me feel worse. I’m not one of those who can spend all day in bed and enjoy it.

When I come back out of the bathroom, Ville hasn’t moved. He’s lying with his arms under his head and his feet up on the bed, shoes still on.

“Are you coming or am I going out by myself?” I laugh and straddle his waist. I feel his hands almost immediately on my legs.

“Well now I don’t want to go anywhere.” He says with a growl and pulls me down to meet his lips.

“You really do have to go though.” I say with a pout. “Let me change and we’ll go.”

“Let’s just make out for a bit.” He murmurs and holds me tightly to his chest.

“I’d love to my darling but I can’t really breathe out of my nose.” I say and rub the tip of his nose with mine.

“Well shit,” he groans, and releases me from his arms. “Alright. Let’s get out there. Go get dressed.” He winks and slaps my ass as I walk towards my suitcase. I grab some clothes and change quickly in the bathroom.

That’s one thing about me that Ville thinks is absolutely hilarious; I do not change or get dressed in front of other people. Call it my desire to be mysterious. There’s just something unattractive about getting dressed in front of a man unless you’re putting on something sexy.

When I’m ready, we leave the hotel and meet back up with the crew to finish the video. Ville says the actual filming isn’t going to take long and that the editing will take the most time.

I sit on the sidelines and watch. I play cards with the rest of the band and we joke around about Ville having to do all the work.

Watching Elin play around with the guy on the sidelines of the video shoot makes it seem less like work and more like fulfilling a purpose. I’ve never had the inspiration for a song on the video shoot with me and it’s an entirely refreshing feeling.

I think back on when Elin surprised me the most. It was the first time she’d seen my Klaus Kinski tattoo and she’d launched off into a discussion, almost entirely with herself, about his work. I’d been too shocked to notice that she was talking to me.

Call me crazy but it’s not everyday you find a beautiful woman who enjoys ‘offbeat’ films. But I was also jealous because she had seen more of his films than I had. Because she can speak German, she is able to watch the films that aren’t translated.

Even when sick, she’s beautiful. Her hair is shining gold in the sunlight and even though she’s a bit pale, her skin is radiant. I love the way her thick eyelashes fan out around her eyes and the way they look when they lay against her skin.

She’s wearing short shorts. One thing I love about Elin is her tendency to show off her legs. I love her legs. It’s rather strange, however, because Elin is short, but her legs look long. I’m not sure how it happens but I’m glad for it.

After beating the guys in what looked like hearts, she pulls out a book and settles in to read. Right after she’d moved in, I’d been in the living room while she was upstairs showering. She’d been listening to Raine Maida, a Canadian singer-songwriter she’d introduced me to, so it was still playing on the stereo. I’d investigated her stack of books.

So many of her books show the telltale signs of being well loved. The spines are worn, the covers are bent and corners are rough. There are pages with folded corners or notes written in the margins.

By the time the filming is over, Elin is asleep in backseat of the rental car. We talk quietly on the ride back to the hotel and manage not to wake her. I lift her into my arms and she involuntarily wraps her arms around my neck.

When I lay her down on the bed, she wakes up.

“Is it over?” she asks, her voice heavy with sleep. Her eyes are barely open and she looks exhausted.

“Yes,” I answer, pulling off her sandals; I rub her little feet for a few minutes. “We’re going to go eat. Do you want to come or should I bring something back for you?”

“Bring something for me.” She mumbles. She’s wrapped her arms around my pillow and put her head on her own.

“Sounds good,” I say with a smirk. People aren’t usually funny when they’re sick but Elin is hilarious when she’s sleepy. She’s either grumpy or sweet and there’s never any middle ground. She either wants to snuggle up or she wants you to get out of her face.

“Ville,” she calls softly before I leave. “I love you.”

“I love you, Elin.” I reply before leaving and shutting the door as quietly as possible.

When I come back to the hotel room, she’s awake and on the phone with her Pappa. Since they’re speaking Swedish, I have no clue what they’re talking about. I manage to pick up something about June and something else about the dogs.

Her Pappa owns several Dobermans and German shepherds. Elin says they all live out at the cottage and he only rarely brings them into town. I also manage to hear something about Baudelaire. After she hangs up, she turns happily to me.

“How was dinner?” she asks.

“Good, I brought you back some pad thai.”

“You’re an angel.” She coos and snuggles up beside me. “I think my fever is over.” She says happily.

“Well that’s good news,” I say while running my fingers through her curls. Her hair is wet and she smells like lotion. She must have just gotten out of the shower. She’s wearing her pajamas; a little pair of shorts and a white tank top.

“So Ville,” she says with some apprehension. She moves so that she’s sitting in my lap, staring me in the face. “We need a wedding date.”

“Well shit,” I groan. She just laughs and kisses me.

“It’s too late for you to back out now!” she jokes.

“Yes, I suppose it is.” I smile and pull her back in for another kiss.