Caught in My Throat
1/1
I walked down the garden path and remembered how beautiful this house was, I hadn’t been here in years, and even though I had changed, none of this had. I sped my walking up to a slow jog and then suddenly I was running down the garden, squealing like the small child I wished I could be again. I got to the area I was hoping to find, the place I used to hide.
It was perfect.
I laid down and looked above me, the sky had turned a dark blue, it told me I should go home, that the rain was on its way, but instead I sighed, I played with a random strand of grass that had floated into my hand, as though it didn’t want me to leave.
I watched as the sky slowly morphed, revealing secrets of years that had flown by, it twinkled cheekily as the stars played their games. Colourful lights shimmered above me and I blinked, thinking I was tired enough to see things that were not there. And yet they did not move, they carried on swimming in circles around my head, as though teasing me that they knew things I never would, like how to fly so delicately.
Slowly and gently I got up, the lights still swam around me, confusing me, making me dizzy. I heard a laugh, a small fragile giggle that I could barely hear, but the affect was evident, it sent shivers down my spine, it covered my skin in goose pimples, it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It was beautifully terrifying.
Listening to the giggles, I spun round in circles, making myself dizzy so that nothing else could. I found myself giggling, in time with the things. No, they cant be things, too small, too delicate, too quiet. One of them flew into my eye line, and I watched it as I spun round, she was following me, giggling, covering her mouth with her hand like a small child who just stole the last cookie. I think she was a girl, her hair was long, a baby’s pink, flowing as she flew, pink wings held her in the air as though she was nothing.
Maybe she was nothing?
I stopped to catch my breath, that thought, vile and cruel had lodged itself in my throat, gulping I tried to force air into my body, but it wouldn’t budge. Tears slipped out of eyes, it was wrong to think that, of course she was real, here she was, watching me as if I was about to implode. She whispered something, the look on her face, she was scared.
“I know you are real.” I whispered, almost choking myself as I did. I felt myself fall, closer and closer to the floor as if it were happening in slow motion, and then the impact struck. A loud crash filled the air, and suddenly I could breath clearly. The lights were spinning around me again, coming closer to me, I could see them now, all of them, small people, with wings in extraordinary colours.
Pinks.
Greens.
Blues.
Purples.
Oranges.
All of them beautiful, shining like stars, stars that the sky dropped. Maybe they flew away, like angels looking for somewhere new to go, new places to find and people to meet. They could have been angels, their faces were perfectly formed like angels, and small, almost too small, easy to loose.
I felt something tickle my hand and looked down, the grass was back, holding me, stopping from moving as they started moving. My hand absent mindedly played with the grass and I watched them fly away. I sighed again as more grass placed itself into my hand, and as if it had created another hand, I felt it drag me, pushing me up, making me stand as the rain fell, washing over me and waking me up.
I gasped and gulped air, it was easier to breath in now, without a throat full of thoughts. Suddenly I was aware of more of them, no they were too big to be them, these were people, watching me, they weren’t colourful, besides the red one, I watched his eyes as he angrily shouted at me and I giggled. I pushed myself onto my feet properly and let go of someone’s hand.
I giggled again as I smoothed down my blue and white dress, it reminded me of Dorothy, except it was shorter where I had grown since I had brought it. I could feel them watching me as I picked up my things, the only things I carried everywhere with me; a spoon and a needle.
My best friends.
It was perfect.
I laid down and looked above me, the sky had turned a dark blue, it told me I should go home, that the rain was on its way, but instead I sighed, I played with a random strand of grass that had floated into my hand, as though it didn’t want me to leave.
I watched as the sky slowly morphed, revealing secrets of years that had flown by, it twinkled cheekily as the stars played their games. Colourful lights shimmered above me and I blinked, thinking I was tired enough to see things that were not there. And yet they did not move, they carried on swimming in circles around my head, as though teasing me that they knew things I never would, like how to fly so delicately.
Slowly and gently I got up, the lights still swam around me, confusing me, making me dizzy. I heard a laugh, a small fragile giggle that I could barely hear, but the affect was evident, it sent shivers down my spine, it covered my skin in goose pimples, it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It was beautifully terrifying.
Listening to the giggles, I spun round in circles, making myself dizzy so that nothing else could. I found myself giggling, in time with the things. No, they cant be things, too small, too delicate, too quiet. One of them flew into my eye line, and I watched it as I spun round, she was following me, giggling, covering her mouth with her hand like a small child who just stole the last cookie. I think she was a girl, her hair was long, a baby’s pink, flowing as she flew, pink wings held her in the air as though she was nothing.
Maybe she was nothing?
I stopped to catch my breath, that thought, vile and cruel had lodged itself in my throat, gulping I tried to force air into my body, but it wouldn’t budge. Tears slipped out of eyes, it was wrong to think that, of course she was real, here she was, watching me as if I was about to implode. She whispered something, the look on her face, she was scared.
“I know you are real.” I whispered, almost choking myself as I did. I felt myself fall, closer and closer to the floor as if it were happening in slow motion, and then the impact struck. A loud crash filled the air, and suddenly I could breath clearly. The lights were spinning around me again, coming closer to me, I could see them now, all of them, small people, with wings in extraordinary colours.
Pinks.
Greens.
Blues.
Purples.
Oranges.
All of them beautiful, shining like stars, stars that the sky dropped. Maybe they flew away, like angels looking for somewhere new to go, new places to find and people to meet. They could have been angels, their faces were perfectly formed like angels, and small, almost too small, easy to loose.
I felt something tickle my hand and looked down, the grass was back, holding me, stopping from moving as they started moving. My hand absent mindedly played with the grass and I watched them fly away. I sighed again as more grass placed itself into my hand, and as if it had created another hand, I felt it drag me, pushing me up, making me stand as the rain fell, washing over me and waking me up.
I gasped and gulped air, it was easier to breath in now, without a throat full of thoughts. Suddenly I was aware of more of them, no they were too big to be them, these were people, watching me, they weren’t colourful, besides the red one, I watched his eyes as he angrily shouted at me and I giggled. I pushed myself onto my feet properly and let go of someone’s hand.
I giggled again as I smoothed down my blue and white dress, it reminded me of Dorothy, except it was shorter where I had grown since I had brought it. I could feel them watching me as I picked up my things, the only things I carried everywhere with me; a spoon and a needle.
My best friends.