Status: Completed!
The Rollercoaster Life
Dirty Little Secret
Who’s the man? I’m the man! I, Alexander William Gaskarth, pulled off an epic first date (despite the incredibly annoying and cock-blocking tendencies of my band mates and road manager) with Jency Burke and have secured myself a second date tomorrow night. Now, I’m the first to acknowledge that I’m not a real ‘date’ type of guy. I mean, I know what girls like – flowers, chocolate and all that mushy stuff – but I’ve never really been in the situation where I enjoyed giving those types of things to her. But, with Jency, I actually had the motivation to make an effort. I mean, I wasn’t about to take her out to a fancy dinner and an opera or some bullshit like that, but I was actually trying to put thought into the time we spent together. I wanted that time to mean something, and I didn’t want to mess this up.
“Dude, why do you have that stupid ass smile on your face?” Jack asked as he pushed himself around the studio on his wheelie chair.
“Do you even need to ask that question?” Rian muttered from his position on the couch, where he was youtubing random shit. “He’s swooning over Jency.”
“Alex Gaskarth, swooning?” Butch Walker questioned, turning away from the soundboard to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, chucking an empty cup at Rian, who ducked it smoothly.
“I’m not swooning. I’m just...happy, I guess.” Jack made some kissy noises at me.
“Well can you turn that happiness into one more song?” Butch questioned, looking over the list we had compiled earlier. “I mean, we can use Poison, if you want, but to be completely honest, I don’t think it fits with the rest of the vibe of the record.”
“No, I know,” I grumbled, turning back to the blank piece of paper in front of me. I strummed a few notes on the guitar, trying to get the inspiration flowing. It just wasn’t happening though. You would think that having a fantastic new person in my life, someone I couldn’t stop thinking about, someone I could never even consider being just a friend, would give me something, anything to write about.
....
Nope, nothing.
I mean, I could have easily spewed out some lovey-dovey crap, stuff that would express how I was feeling, sure. But it wouldn’t fit. Damn, I hate writer’s block.
“I’m gonna go for a walk,” I announced, standing up and setting my guitar down. As Jack rolled by on the chair, I jumped onto his lap and rolled along with him to the other side of the room.
“A walk down to Studio 3, by any chance?” Zack smirked from his spot at the recorder, bass resting on his lap as he looked over the next few chords.
I flipped him off as Butch looked over at me curiously. “I thought you had a girlfriend?”
“Ha,” Rian scoffed. “Alex doesn’t do girlfriends.”
“Hey, I do girlfriends all the time, they just not might be mine.”
“Ohh!” Jack laughed, giving me a high five. Yes, we’re immature, deal with it.
“Nah, but seriously,” I said, feeling somewhat guilty about the comment. “I don’t know, there’s something different about Jency. I think this could actually work.”
I turned to leave the studio, and as the door shut behind me, I heard them all yell, “DON’T SCREW IT UP!” Fuckers.
I wasn’t going to screw it up, you know why? Because I liked Jency, I made the advances on her. It didn’t start out the other way around, like almost every other relationship (if you can call them that) I’ve been in. No, right from the very beginning this was different. And let me tell you, it freaked me the fuck out that I felt this...giddy. I don’t get giddy. And yet, I noticed my pace quicken slightly as I got closer to their studio.
I knocked before entering, giving nods of greeting to Eric. Holden was in the booth, recording back up vocals, and Quinn and Jency were sitting in the far back, talking with someone I recognized.
“Oh my God!” I shouted. The reporter from Buzznet turned to look at me and grinned when she realized who it was.
“Alex Gaskarth,” she said, standing up and coming over to “Long time, no see.”
“How are you Bree?” I asked. Bree had interviewed us countless times and had become one of our favorite interviewers for her humor and love for the music.
“Fantastic. I was sent over here to do a preliminary interview with these guys, here,” she replied, and we both looked over at Jen and Quinn, who were smiling up at us from the couch. “Buzznet is doing a quick review of newly signed bands and new additions to Warped Tour this summer.”
“You’re going on Warped?” I asked, and Jency beamed up at me.
“Just got the call yesterday. We’re so pumped!” That was fantastic for them, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that we weren’t on Warped this year. It meant a summer without Jency.
“Mind if hang around for a bit?” I asked.
“Not at all,” she grinned in response, folding her legs under and sitting Indian style on the couch. Bree sat back down across from her in a folding chair, setting up her recorder and pulling out a pen and paper.
“Ok, I’m warning you now these questions can be rather random. The section is called ‘20 Things You Don’t Need to Know About A Band You Do.’ It’s going to be some either/or and then just random facts about the band, sound good?”
“Bring’em on,” Quinn said, good-naturedly. Sometimes, I knew, it was fun to answer crazy questions like this, especially after a long day of business and recording. I settled myself on a chair behind Bree, sending Jen a smile as she began to answer questions.
“Vanilla or chocolate?”
“Vanilla,” they both responded.
“Power Rangers or Ninja Turtles?”
“Ninja turles!” Quinn shouted, giving a fist pump. “They were bloody brilliant. Pizza, skateboarding and mad ninja skills? Fucking clutch.”
“Oh, I have to say Power Rangers,” Jency challenged. “When I was little, Holden had every single action figure and I played with them all the time.”
“Pepsi or Coke?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Quinn said. “As long as they have vodka in them.”
I listened with interest, as it was a good way to learn some interesting facts about Jency, stuff I could use possibly as ideas for dates, gifts, etc, etc.
“Any pets?”
“I used to have a gerbil,” Quinn offered. “I named it Jesus.”
“Imagine the phone call I get, in the middle of the night, with Quinn going, ‘Jesus died!’” Jency laughed. “I don’t have any pets but I’m dying to get a dog at some point.”
“Celebrity crushes?”
“Jack Barakat,” Jency immediately responded, sending me a teasing smile. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help but laugh when Quinn heartily agreed with her.
At the end of the interview, Jency stood and walked over to me. Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around her and drew her in for a quick kiss. She froze as our lips touched, and immediately I realized what I had done. I pulled away quickly and looked at the group around us. It had only been two days since I had first kissed her, and it certainly didn’t seem by the looks her band mates were giving me that they knew anything about it. Lucky for me, Holden was still in the recording booth.
“Oh, are you two together?” Bree asked, innocently. She sent us a friendly smile as Jency’s cheeks grew red. God, she was gorgeous when she blushed.
“Uh, I guess you could say that,” I answered awkwardly, not wanting to put words into Jency’s mouth. I mean, I wanted to be together, but was this moving a bit fast? As if to support my response, Jency intertwined her thin fingers with mine and leaned into me slightly.
“We’d like to keep it a bit quiet, for now though,” she added. I noticed Eric looking at us, brows furrowed. Quinn was grinning enthusiastically.
“Of course,” Bree nodded in understanding. I had always liked her. “I’ll send you guys a finalized copy of the interview to look over before we print, okay?” She said her goodbyes and left the studio, leaving me and Jency to be the center of attention.
“Aw, come here you two,” Quinn chuckled, walking over and pulling us into a tight hug. “One big ‘appy family, aren’t we now?” He pulled away, still beaming at us. “Now, Alex,” he said, suddenly serious. “I’m warning you now, you break her heart and all kick you in the balls so hard they’ll have to change your name to Alexandra. Don’t think I’m kidding, either.”
I stepped back with a nervous laugh, but Quinn broke out into another smile and slapped me on the shoulder before heading back over to Eric. Jency smiled apologetically at me.
“Want to go talk somewhere?” she asked.
“Yeah, we should probably figure this whole thing out.”
We headed out of the studio and outside into the chilly night air. I quickly pulled off my Glamour Kills hoodie and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“Thanks,” she said shyly, shrugging it on and going to sit on a bench next to the building.
“So,” she continued once I had sat down next to her, making sure our legs were pressed up against each other. I needed to be in contact her, she was intoxicating.
“So,” I chuckled. “We’re officially seeing each other, then?”
“Well, if that’s what you want...I mean...” she suddenly seemed nervous, and I wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.
“Of course that’s what I want. I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t mean it. Believe me, I don’t jump into things or put labels on things lightly.”
She smiled, the light in her eyes shining brightly in the moonlight. God, she was beautiful. “I guess that means you’ll have to take me on a real date then,” she replied in a teasing voice.
“What? Disneyland? Not a real date?!”
“Jack, Rian, and Matt were there,” she giggled. “And I had an amazing time, but it would be nice to go somewhere just the two of us, you know?”
“Believe me, I would have much preferred them not to be there. But, you’re right. How about tomorrow night? We can do the whole dinner/movie shebang if you want. Or I can try and think of something a bit more original.”
“Honestly, Alex,” she said, taking my breath away a bit when she said my name. “I don’t care what we do, as long as I’m with you.” It was a corny line, but as I looked at her I knew she was telling the truth, and I felt the exact same way. I pulled her closer to me, relishing the moment, and kissing her on the head. We had only technically been together for two days (or thirty seconds, depending on you look at it), and yet I was feeling more attached to Jency than I had to any other girl in a very long time. It scared me a bit, but it was also exhilarating.
“So, do you think the guys are going to give you shit about me?” I asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.
She gave a short laugh and let her head rest on my shoulder. “Quinn probably will a bit. Eric won’t and Holden might give me the whole ‘don’t get pregnant’ speech, but who knows.”
“Pregnant? I haven’t even gotten to second base, yet.”
“Ha, all in good time Mr. Gaskarth,” she said, and I could see the faint blush in her cheeks despite the darkness. I smiled again, before tipping her face up to mine and pressing a light kiss to her lips. I felt fire roar through my body, suddenly not even noticing the chill California wind. She pressed herself into me, and wrapped my arms around her tighter, as if she might disappear if I didn’t hold onto her for all I was worth. When my hand dragged through her hair, she gave a small gasp, giving me access to her delectable mouth. I don’t know how long we sat there, kissing, cuddling and holding each other, but I did no that a point came when my arousal became almost too much to bare.
“Jence,” I gasped out, reluctantly pulling away from her swollen lips. “We should probably go back in.” I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control myself much longer if we continued this. When she pouted slightly, I almost lost my resolve, but she eventually nodded and stood up, taking my hand in hers.
We got back inside, and I pulled her into a long hug. “Tomorrow, we’re going out on a real date,” I reiterated.
“I can’t wait,” she smiled, before leaning up to kiss me again. Luckily, it was just a quick kiss, and she pulled away, heading back into her studio. I watched her go, wondering just how the fuck I managed to get a girl like that.
Sighing, I turned to walk away, but heard the door open behind.
“Alex.”
I was startled a bit at Eric’s deep voice, but managed to hide my surprise as I turned to face him. His dark, curly hair fell down into his eyes, but I could see the slight frown playing on his lips and his hands were shoved into his jean pockets.
“Hey, Eric. What’s up?”
“Don’t screw this up,” he said simply.
“What?”
“Jency...she...” he struggled, trying to think of the right words to say. “Jency, once she finally let’s you in, once she finally trusts someone, there is no turning back. It’s pretty much all or nothing for her.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“It’s not easy for her to love someone. So if you’re expecting that, just know that when it happens, she will put her all into it. She doesn’t go into relationships for the hell of it, just to screw around. They mean something to her.”
“This means something to me too,” I responded, not sure if I should be offended by the insinuation he was making.
“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I just wanted you to know. Just, please don’t hurt her.”
“I won’t,” I replied, trying to convey how much I wanted this to work. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jency.”
Eric nodded, looking down to the floor. “You seem like a good guy, Alex. And Jency is happy around you, which is all I want.” I gave him a friendly smile, and sensing the conversation was over, turned to leave.
“Oh, and Alex,” Eric started again. “Quinn was joking, he won’t kick your ass if you do something stupid.” I smiled again. “But I will.” My grin faltered as he headed back into the studio.
Sure, I didn’t want to get my ass kicked, but I didn’t plan on having that happen. Because I wasn’t going to do anything to screw this up. I was going to make Jency the happiest she has ever been, because it was becoming abundantly clear to me that the happier she was, the happier I was.
“Dude, why do you have that stupid ass smile on your face?” Jack asked as he pushed himself around the studio on his wheelie chair.
“Do you even need to ask that question?” Rian muttered from his position on the couch, where he was youtubing random shit. “He’s swooning over Jency.”
“Alex Gaskarth, swooning?” Butch Walker questioned, turning away from the soundboard to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, chucking an empty cup at Rian, who ducked it smoothly.
“I’m not swooning. I’m just...happy, I guess.” Jack made some kissy noises at me.
“Well can you turn that happiness into one more song?” Butch questioned, looking over the list we had compiled earlier. “I mean, we can use Poison, if you want, but to be completely honest, I don’t think it fits with the rest of the vibe of the record.”
“No, I know,” I grumbled, turning back to the blank piece of paper in front of me. I strummed a few notes on the guitar, trying to get the inspiration flowing. It just wasn’t happening though. You would think that having a fantastic new person in my life, someone I couldn’t stop thinking about, someone I could never even consider being just a friend, would give me something, anything to write about.
....
Nope, nothing.
I mean, I could have easily spewed out some lovey-dovey crap, stuff that would express how I was feeling, sure. But it wouldn’t fit. Damn, I hate writer’s block.
“I’m gonna go for a walk,” I announced, standing up and setting my guitar down. As Jack rolled by on the chair, I jumped onto his lap and rolled along with him to the other side of the room.
“A walk down to Studio 3, by any chance?” Zack smirked from his spot at the recorder, bass resting on his lap as he looked over the next few chords.
I flipped him off as Butch looked over at me curiously. “I thought you had a girlfriend?”
“Ha,” Rian scoffed. “Alex doesn’t do girlfriends.”
“Hey, I do girlfriends all the time, they just not might be mine.”
“Ohh!” Jack laughed, giving me a high five. Yes, we’re immature, deal with it.
“Nah, but seriously,” I said, feeling somewhat guilty about the comment. “I don’t know, there’s something different about Jency. I think this could actually work.”
I turned to leave the studio, and as the door shut behind me, I heard them all yell, “DON’T SCREW IT UP!” Fuckers.
I wasn’t going to screw it up, you know why? Because I liked Jency, I made the advances on her. It didn’t start out the other way around, like almost every other relationship (if you can call them that) I’ve been in. No, right from the very beginning this was different. And let me tell you, it freaked me the fuck out that I felt this...giddy. I don’t get giddy. And yet, I noticed my pace quicken slightly as I got closer to their studio.
I knocked before entering, giving nods of greeting to Eric. Holden was in the booth, recording back up vocals, and Quinn and Jency were sitting in the far back, talking with someone I recognized.
“Oh my God!” I shouted. The reporter from Buzznet turned to look at me and grinned when she realized who it was.
“Alex Gaskarth,” she said, standing up and coming over to “Long time, no see.”
“How are you Bree?” I asked. Bree had interviewed us countless times and had become one of our favorite interviewers for her humor and love for the music.
“Fantastic. I was sent over here to do a preliminary interview with these guys, here,” she replied, and we both looked over at Jen and Quinn, who were smiling up at us from the couch. “Buzznet is doing a quick review of newly signed bands and new additions to Warped Tour this summer.”
“You’re going on Warped?” I asked, and Jency beamed up at me.
“Just got the call yesterday. We’re so pumped!” That was fantastic for them, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that we weren’t on Warped this year. It meant a summer without Jency.
“Mind if hang around for a bit?” I asked.
“Not at all,” she grinned in response, folding her legs under and sitting Indian style on the couch. Bree sat back down across from her in a folding chair, setting up her recorder and pulling out a pen and paper.
“Ok, I’m warning you now these questions can be rather random. The section is called ‘20 Things You Don’t Need to Know About A Band You Do.’ It’s going to be some either/or and then just random facts about the band, sound good?”
“Bring’em on,” Quinn said, good-naturedly. Sometimes, I knew, it was fun to answer crazy questions like this, especially after a long day of business and recording. I settled myself on a chair behind Bree, sending Jen a smile as she began to answer questions.
“Vanilla or chocolate?”
“Vanilla,” they both responded.
“Power Rangers or Ninja Turtles?”
“Ninja turles!” Quinn shouted, giving a fist pump. “They were bloody brilliant. Pizza, skateboarding and mad ninja skills? Fucking clutch.”
“Oh, I have to say Power Rangers,” Jency challenged. “When I was little, Holden had every single action figure and I played with them all the time.”
“Pepsi or Coke?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Quinn said. “As long as they have vodka in them.”
I listened with interest, as it was a good way to learn some interesting facts about Jency, stuff I could use possibly as ideas for dates, gifts, etc, etc.
“Any pets?”
“I used to have a gerbil,” Quinn offered. “I named it Jesus.”
“Imagine the phone call I get, in the middle of the night, with Quinn going, ‘Jesus died!’” Jency laughed. “I don’t have any pets but I’m dying to get a dog at some point.”
“Celebrity crushes?”
“Jack Barakat,” Jency immediately responded, sending me a teasing smile. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help but laugh when Quinn heartily agreed with her.
At the end of the interview, Jency stood and walked over to me. Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around her and drew her in for a quick kiss. She froze as our lips touched, and immediately I realized what I had done. I pulled away quickly and looked at the group around us. It had only been two days since I had first kissed her, and it certainly didn’t seem by the looks her band mates were giving me that they knew anything about it. Lucky for me, Holden was still in the recording booth.
“Oh, are you two together?” Bree asked, innocently. She sent us a friendly smile as Jency’s cheeks grew red. God, she was gorgeous when she blushed.
“Uh, I guess you could say that,” I answered awkwardly, not wanting to put words into Jency’s mouth. I mean, I wanted to be together, but was this moving a bit fast? As if to support my response, Jency intertwined her thin fingers with mine and leaned into me slightly.
“We’d like to keep it a bit quiet, for now though,” she added. I noticed Eric looking at us, brows furrowed. Quinn was grinning enthusiastically.
“Of course,” Bree nodded in understanding. I had always liked her. “I’ll send you guys a finalized copy of the interview to look over before we print, okay?” She said her goodbyes and left the studio, leaving me and Jency to be the center of attention.
“Aw, come here you two,” Quinn chuckled, walking over and pulling us into a tight hug. “One big ‘appy family, aren’t we now?” He pulled away, still beaming at us. “Now, Alex,” he said, suddenly serious. “I’m warning you now, you break her heart and all kick you in the balls so hard they’ll have to change your name to Alexandra. Don’t think I’m kidding, either.”
I stepped back with a nervous laugh, but Quinn broke out into another smile and slapped me on the shoulder before heading back over to Eric. Jency smiled apologetically at me.
“Want to go talk somewhere?” she asked.
“Yeah, we should probably figure this whole thing out.”
We headed out of the studio and outside into the chilly night air. I quickly pulled off my Glamour Kills hoodie and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“Thanks,” she said shyly, shrugging it on and going to sit on a bench next to the building.
“So,” she continued once I had sat down next to her, making sure our legs were pressed up against each other. I needed to be in contact her, she was intoxicating.
“So,” I chuckled. “We’re officially seeing each other, then?”
“Well, if that’s what you want...I mean...” she suddenly seemed nervous, and I wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.
“Of course that’s what I want. I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t mean it. Believe me, I don’t jump into things or put labels on things lightly.”
She smiled, the light in her eyes shining brightly in the moonlight. God, she was beautiful. “I guess that means you’ll have to take me on a real date then,” she replied in a teasing voice.
“What? Disneyland? Not a real date?!”
“Jack, Rian, and Matt were there,” she giggled. “And I had an amazing time, but it would be nice to go somewhere just the two of us, you know?”
“Believe me, I would have much preferred them not to be there. But, you’re right. How about tomorrow night? We can do the whole dinner/movie shebang if you want. Or I can try and think of something a bit more original.”
“Honestly, Alex,” she said, taking my breath away a bit when she said my name. “I don’t care what we do, as long as I’m with you.” It was a corny line, but as I looked at her I knew she was telling the truth, and I felt the exact same way. I pulled her closer to me, relishing the moment, and kissing her on the head. We had only technically been together for two days (or thirty seconds, depending on you look at it), and yet I was feeling more attached to Jency than I had to any other girl in a very long time. It scared me a bit, but it was also exhilarating.
“So, do you think the guys are going to give you shit about me?” I asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.
She gave a short laugh and let her head rest on my shoulder. “Quinn probably will a bit. Eric won’t and Holden might give me the whole ‘don’t get pregnant’ speech, but who knows.”
“Pregnant? I haven’t even gotten to second base, yet.”
“Ha, all in good time Mr. Gaskarth,” she said, and I could see the faint blush in her cheeks despite the darkness. I smiled again, before tipping her face up to mine and pressing a light kiss to her lips. I felt fire roar through my body, suddenly not even noticing the chill California wind. She pressed herself into me, and wrapped my arms around her tighter, as if she might disappear if I didn’t hold onto her for all I was worth. When my hand dragged through her hair, she gave a small gasp, giving me access to her delectable mouth. I don’t know how long we sat there, kissing, cuddling and holding each other, but I did no that a point came when my arousal became almost too much to bare.
“Jence,” I gasped out, reluctantly pulling away from her swollen lips. “We should probably go back in.” I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control myself much longer if we continued this. When she pouted slightly, I almost lost my resolve, but she eventually nodded and stood up, taking my hand in hers.
We got back inside, and I pulled her into a long hug. “Tomorrow, we’re going out on a real date,” I reiterated.
“I can’t wait,” she smiled, before leaning up to kiss me again. Luckily, it was just a quick kiss, and she pulled away, heading back into her studio. I watched her go, wondering just how the fuck I managed to get a girl like that.
Sighing, I turned to walk away, but heard the door open behind.
“Alex.”
I was startled a bit at Eric’s deep voice, but managed to hide my surprise as I turned to face him. His dark, curly hair fell down into his eyes, but I could see the slight frown playing on his lips and his hands were shoved into his jean pockets.
“Hey, Eric. What’s up?”
“Don’t screw this up,” he said simply.
“What?”
“Jency...she...” he struggled, trying to think of the right words to say. “Jency, once she finally let’s you in, once she finally trusts someone, there is no turning back. It’s pretty much all or nothing for her.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“It’s not easy for her to love someone. So if you’re expecting that, just know that when it happens, she will put her all into it. She doesn’t go into relationships for the hell of it, just to screw around. They mean something to her.”
“This means something to me too,” I responded, not sure if I should be offended by the insinuation he was making.
“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I just wanted you to know. Just, please don’t hurt her.”
“I won’t,” I replied, trying to convey how much I wanted this to work. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jency.”
Eric nodded, looking down to the floor. “You seem like a good guy, Alex. And Jency is happy around you, which is all I want.” I gave him a friendly smile, and sensing the conversation was over, turned to leave.
“Oh, and Alex,” Eric started again. “Quinn was joking, he won’t kick your ass if you do something stupid.” I smiled again. “But I will.” My grin faltered as he headed back into the studio.
Sure, I didn’t want to get my ass kicked, but I didn’t plan on having that happen. Because I wasn’t going to do anything to screw this up. I was going to make Jency the happiest she has ever been, because it was becoming abundantly clear to me that the happier she was, the happier I was.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ok, so, I have to admit I was a bit disappointed at the lack of comments on the last chapter. so, that's part of the reason I took so long to update. this is also a bit of a filler, but there are a hint or two about future events. Just keep this in mind - it's not about what Alex does say, but what he doesn't say.Cryptic I know. :P
BTW - this story is dedicated to tq6776 and supersonicskyline because they commented!!
xx