The Rollercoaster Life

I wasn’t going to go over. I had really no reason for it, but for some reason, his invitation didn’t rub me the right way. I mean, it could just be one neighbor inviting another neighbor over for a neighborly barbecue. Right? Of course, I didn’t want it to be just that. Alex was a really sweet guy, a really attractive sweet guy, and I couldn’t help but wish he thought enough of me to invite me over because he liked me. But, at the same time, there was that nagging thought in the back of my mind – was he inviting me, or Jency Burke, former teen singing sensation and the girl all his friends had crushes on? The paranoid part of me said the latter, and I believed it. The way he stuttered, the way he stared, it was just like any other fan. I didn’t want to deal with that now, especially from someone who should understand.

“Almost ready to head over, Jence?” Quinn asked, popping his head in my room and looking to where I laid sprawled out on the bed. Some window guys had come over earlier in the day and had replaced the door, which was good, because now my room wasn’t freezing anymore.

“I’m not going,” I replied, not nearly confident enough. If I had been firmer, maybe Quinn would have left me alone. But, he heard the faltering in my voice and bounded over to my bed and flopped down on top of me. “Oof!” I grunted as he knocked the wind out of me. “I hate you, you know that, right?”

“Of course, I do,” he grinned down at me with perfect white teeth. Someone find one physical flaw on that boy, please. “And I also know when you’re pouting and acting like a ponce, like now.”

“I don’t even know what a ponce is,” I mumbled, rolling over on my side. Of course now, I was staring out the window down onto Alex’s house, where I could see them setting up tables and someone working the grill.

“Well, you don’t want to be one. So, pretty yourself up and come downstairs. Cutie-pie Alex invited you over and you’re going.”

I rolled my eyes and wondered what I could do to get Quinn to leave me alone. But I had known him long enough to know that when he had his mind set to something, there was nothing you can do to change it.

“Give me five minutes,” I relented, rolling off the bed and shutting the window blinds.
“Brilliant,” he grinned, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. God, I hate boys with accents.

When I got downstairs, Eric and Quinn were waiting for me at the back door. Obviously, Holden wasn’t coming, as I hadn’t seen him since this morning and he wasn’t one for frivolous parties. If we ever made it big, he would be the worst rock star. Eric shifted back and forth on his feet nervously, clearly not as excited as Quinn about going to the party. Eric has never been one for big gatherings, especially with people he doesn’t know. In fact, any time he’s around people he’s not used to, he’s uncomfortable, unless of course he has his bass in his hand. Only then is he truly happy.

“Come on then,” Quinn said giddily, grabbing a moving box off the floor. I heard the bottles clang together inside and rolled my eyes. Quinn and his Guiness.

It was cold out, something I realized too late as we walked outside and over toward Alex’s. There was a bunch of people there, about five or six, just hanging out, drinking and playing mini-golf. I pulled my cardigan around me, deciding that needing to get a coat would be a good excuse for an escape if I needed it.

I didn’t see Alex around anywhere as we wandered down the slight slope and onto their back patio, but I did recognize one person there.

“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduce,” the tall, dark haired boy from the window incident said, coming over to me and offering me a beer. “Jack Barakat, professional hot guy.”

“Jency Burke,” I replied with a grin. I liked him, despite his destructive tendencies. “This is Eric and Quinn, two of my band mates,” I added, introducing them in turn. Jack shook hands with them both and offered them a drink. Eric declined with a shake of his head and Quinn merely held up his already half empty bottle of Guiness.

“You know,” Jack said, putting his arm around Quinn. “I think we’re going to get along just fine. Up for a game of beer pong?” The two of them skipped off like little girls over to the pong table, leaving me standing there awkwardly with Eric, who looked like he wished he was anywhere else. I felt bad, I really did, but I knew as well as Eric that Quinn would not let him leave. Quinn was determined to get our friend to be outgoing, to actually speak. It wasn’t going very well.

“Do you think if we get Quinn really shit-faced, we can just sneak out and he’ll never notice?” I asked him, causing him to crack a small smile. “Yeah,” I continued, looking over and seeing Quinn torpedo his drink. “Damn Irish and their high tolerance levels.”

“Jency!” I turned and looked toward the house, where Alex was emerging from the back door. He grinned at me, and his over eager expression made him look a bit like a puppy as he hurried over. “Hey, you came! Hey Eric, good to see you,” he smiled, holding his hand out for Eric to shake, which he did. Well played, Mr. Gaskarth, I thought to myself, getting on the odd friend’s good side. Point one.

“I’m glad you came,” he said, turning to me. “Do you want anything to eat? We have burgers, hot dogs, and...yeah, burgers and hot dogs.”

“I’m good for now, thanks.” I looked around at the few unfamiliar faces, as Eric moved away and over to Quinn and Jack were playing pong.

“Do you want to meet my friends?” Alex asked, noticing my scan around the backyard. “I mean, I’m sure you’ll already know their names, and I’m sure they know yours, but you know...”

“Actually, I don’t know their names,” I admitted.

“I thought you said you were a fan of the band,” he asked, confused for a moment.

“I’m a fan of the music,” I clarified, trying not to sound pretentious or insulting. “But, to be honest, I never really pay attention to the actual band or anything.” He looked at me for a second, as if he was trying to figure me out, and I felt myself blush under his gaze. He smiled then, and held out an arm.

“After you.” I smiled back and walked ahead of him and over to the group of guys standing around the food. “Hey guys, this is Jency from next door. Jency, these are some my best friends in the world.”

I grinned as I looked at them. “The ones who had crushes on me in high school?” I asked innocently, before giggling at the glares Alex received.

“I’m Rian,” one spoke up, moving toward me sticking out his hand to shake. He had an almost perfect smile, and reminded me of a teddy bear. It was a corny thought, I know, but he did. He looked like he would be great at giving hugs.

“I’m Matt, All Time Low’s tour manager,” greeted the guy working the grill. “I really hope you won’t sue us for Alex breaking your window.”

“It was Jack!”

“And I’m Zack,” greeted the third and final boy, with a wild mass of curly hair on top of his head and a nose ring. “And I will freely admit I had a crush on you in high school. Feel like getting dinner sometime?” I laughed as Alex rolled his eyes and placed his hand on the small of my and directed me away from the group.

“Sorry, my friends can be a bit...”

“Fun?” I offered, as we headed up to the putting green. I wasn’t sure why I was so willing to follow him around, but at the moment, it seemed like the best idea.

Alex smiled and picked up a golf ball that was lying on the ground. He tossed it back and forth between his hands for a moment, while I stood by awkwardly. I wanted to start a conversation, I did. I wanted to get to know him better, now that I was here and he wasn’t acting in the same nervous manner he had earlier. But, to be honest, I was nervous. For all I knew, he knew all about me, about my past, about my home life. Because to be honest, it was splashed across so many magazines it would have been hard not to know. Alex, however, beat me to the punch.

“Twenty questions?” he asked, tossing me the golf ball. “I mean, I’ll admit I know some stuff about you, but there is a lot I don’t know. And the food won’t be ready for a little bit, so unless you want to go play pong with Jack and Quinn...” he trailed off and looked over to the table, where Quinn was now chucking empty (and some not empty) solo cups at Jack who had was doing a victory lap drunkenly around the patio, before tripping over a lawn chair and falling into a bush.

“Twenty questions it is,” I agreed with a smile. We went over to the hammock near the back end of the yard and sat down. “You first,” I said, wanting to try and get a feel of the types of questions we were asking.

“Favorite ice cream?”

“Mint chocolate chip,” I replied confidently. “Favorite sport?”

“Football. Ravens all the way. Favorite animal?”

“T-rex.”

“That’s not an animal, it’s a dinosaur. And it’s dead.”

“You didn’t specify, alive or dead,” I countered. “Besides, T-Rex’s are awesome. Favorite bandmate?”

“Oh,” He said with a sly smile. “Don’t tell, but it would have to be Jack.”

“Really? Even despite his destructive behavior,” I teased.

“Yep. He’s my best friend, has been since middle school. I love that kid. If I was gay, I would marry him in an instant.”

“So you’re not gay?” I asked, trying to keep a straight face.

“No, I’m not,” he said, trying to look offended. “And I do believe you just asked two questions in a row, which means I get an extra.”

“I think you’re just making up these rules as you go along.” Alex smiled leaned back in the hammock, resting his hands on his stomach and looking up at the darkening sky. I copied his position.

“First boy you kissed,” he said, glancing over at me with a teasing, lopsided smile.
So this is where these questions were heading. “Mike Garrett in tenth grade,” I responded, wincing slightly thinking about my first and only boyfriend. Alex didn’t seem to notice because he pressed on. “If you could marry any Disney prince, who would it be?”

“Wow, these are getting complicated. Um...I don’t know. I don’t really know any Disney princes.”

Alex sat up and looked at me in disbelief. “You are a girl, right?”

“Yes, and I think that according to your silly rules, I get another question now.”

“No, no, you didn’t answer the first question.”

“Well, I can’t. I’ve never really watched Disney movies.” Alex’s expression of shock slowly changed to one of horror. “Never. Watched. Disney Movies? What kind of childhood did you have?”

“Well, all I’ve known since I was four was music and touring and concerts,” I replied. “I never really had time to watch a lot of movies.”

“Girl, you’re missing out,” he said, shaking his head. I shrugged. I tried not to think about stuff like that.

“Well, looky here.” I rolled my eyes and looked up to see Quinn grinning cheekily down at us, double fisting, of course. “Food’s ready, then. Jen, do you want me to go check on Holden?”

“No, it’s okay,” I replied. “I’ll go get him and see if he’s coming.” I stood up and gave Alex a smile. “We’ll finish this later.”

Holden, while not anti-social like Eric, still needed prodding to come out to parties and things. He was too uptight to really enjoy himself at things like this. He just needed to relax.

“Holden?” I called, as I walked in through the back door to the house and into the kitchen. “Holden, are you coming to over? The food’s ready?” I heard him talking to someone in the office, so I knocked and let myself in.

My brother was sitting at the desk, grinning down at his laptop screen, happier than I had seen him in days. And I knew why.

“Maggie!” I squealed, running around the desk and shoving him over so I could see the screen. Holden grunted but didn’t get annoyed. He never got annoyed when Maggie was around – she was his world.

“Jency!” Skype Maggie said back, looking as gorgeous as ever, despite being pixelly. “How are you liking LA? Meet any cute California boys yet?”

“Right, that’s my cue to leave,” Holden said, ruffling my hair. “Love you, babe,” he said into the screen before standing up and leaving the room.

“Is he gone?” Maggie asked, just as the door shut. I nodded and she immediately leaned closer to the camera. “Tell me right now Jency Dayne Burke. I can see you blushing.”

I had tried to keep my redness levels down, but of course, that’s impossible. And Maggie could read any facial expression of mine anyway. There was no point in trying to lie to her.
“We’re next door neighbors to All Time Low,” I admitted, biting back a smile. Maggie’s enthusiasm and zest for life always transferred to me.

“Oh my God, like the band? Like, the band that sings-”

“Yes,” I said quickly, cutting her off. I didn’t want to get into that. “And two of them broke a window in my room. Which then led to all of us being invited over to theirs for a barbecue, like, right now.”

“Hold on,” she said, suddenly typing. “I’m googling them.” I waited patiently, until she let out an excited gasp. “Please tell me you are totally getting with one – or all – of them. Jency, they are freaking hot.”

“I’m not getting with any of them,” I protested. “They are all very attractive, yes, but you know I’m not looking for anything.”

“But that’s when true love happens,” she replied wistfully. “When you’re not looking for it. I mean, look at me and Holden.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’d really not like to think about all that mushy stuff,” I said.

“Who’s the one with the big nose?” she asked, staring at the screen, where I assumed All Time Low was blocking out my picture.

“That would be Jack...I think. Is he your favorite?”

“Well, you know how I feel about extra large features.”

“Oh! Oh, gross Maggie!” I rubbed my hands down my face as she laughed.

“Oh come Jen, you have know how big your brother’s head is.”

“You’re disgusting. I’m leaving now.”

“No!” She whined. “Wait, who’s is your favorite? Tell me Jency or I won’t be able to stop calling you and bugging Holden about finding out.”

I groaned. If she got Holden involved I would never have any peace. “Well, I’ve only really talked with one of them. Alex. He’s the lead singer. He seems really cool, but I don’t know, Mags. He knew who I was.”

“Jency, everyone knows who you are.”

“Yeah, but, I mean...” I sighed, trying to figure out how to describe how I was feeling. “When we first met he acted all nervous and stuff. I don’t know, I just don’t know how he sees me.”

“How is he acting now?”

“Wel, normal I guess. I don’t know, Mags. He’s probably not even interested. I mean, he’s a famous rock star, he has girls falling at his feet. Why would he waste time on me?”

“God, Jency,” she rolled her eyes and sounded genuinely annoyed. “You need to stop thinking like that. You act so confident around everyone and then as soon as you’re by yourself it’s woe is me, no one is interested. People aren’t interested because they don’t think you are. Relax and leave your comfort zone. Ask him out. Worst that happens is that he’s says no and then you know it’s not meant to be.”

“Wow.” I sat there, stunned, for a moment. “Thanks, I guess, Maggie.”

“I’m just trying to help, boo.”

“I know. Listen, I should really head back over there.” I didn’t want to stop talking to her, but I know the Alex subject wouldn’t drop, so it was bye-bye Maggie.

“Alright, have fun, and make sure Holden does too. Say hi to Eric and Quinn for me. I love you.”

“Love you too.” I hung up on Skype and sat back in the chair. She had to bring up romance, didn’t she? Because now, every little thing Alex did I would misconstrue into flirting like I normally did when I hope a guy found me attractive. And eventually I would realize that there was nothing there and I was acting like an idiot. It was the same story over and over again.

Sighing, I looked out the window to the backyard, where Alex, Rian and Quinn were standing and laughing on the putting green. Alex glanced over his shoulder at the house. I didn’t think he could see me, but I smiled back. Realizing what I was doing, I shook my head and closed my eyes. God dammit.