Are the Roses Red or Black?

“Of course!” I smiled, quickly hopping over the couch and into the kitchen.
I frowned and froze in the middle of the room. That’s when it hit me…
“I don’t know how to make sushi!”
I ran into the hallway and burst into Kakuzu’s room. I came to an abrupt halt when I saw what he was doing…

“Oh. My. Fucking. Jashin!! What the hellafuck are you two doing?!?”
It was hard to process what I saw, even though it was happening before my eyes. Kakuzu was making out -yeah, you heard me right- making out with Tobi -yeah, Tobi. They split apart, Tobi threw on his mask before I could see his face, and stared at me in fear because they were caught.
“Uh… um… i-it’s not what it looks like! Mikoto, I swear it’s not what you think!” Kakuzu sputtered.
“Well, it’s been fun, but Tobi’s got to split! Here’s the money, Kazu-danna!” and he vanished.
“I swear, I only did that because he paid me to do it!”
“Oh. Well, it looked to me like you were really enjoying yourself.” I teased.
“N…No! I-I…! But!” he stammered before giving in, “Ah, what’s the use!”
Kakuzu shut the door and locked it before sitting back down on the bed. I sat down next to him.
“Tell me all about it. It’s okay. I don’t judge.”

“Okay.” he sighed, “It all started a couple of weeks ago, when Tobi first came to me. He had come in with a wad of cash in his pocket. He slammed it on my desk and said, “Tobi will give you all this cash here if you meet Tobi in his room at midnight every night this week.”
I was skeptic at first, but took the money anyway, I can’t say no to money. And I wanted to know what he was planning.
That night, at midnight exactly, I crept into Tobi’s room and the door closed itself behind me. There was only one candle to light the room. Suddenly, something covered my eyes (probably a hand, I assumed) and something cold and sharp was pressed to my neck. I assumed it was a kunai…”

Kakuzu had slipped into a place I could not go, reminiscing in the memory as if it happened just yesterday.

“Then someone said from behind me, “Don’t speak. Kiss me or die.” You’d think that it was Tobi, but this voice was deeper, richer, a more manly tone than the voice possessed by the hyperactive boy.
I gulped and nodded and the kunai was dropped and the hand removed. I spun around and saw Tobi. He walked me to the bed and sat me down on it.
“Let the fun begin…” he chuckled. He began to lift his mask as the light flickered out.
And then we made-out. This continued all week, and the next. After a month or so, it became a habit and I grew to… love… Tobi… And now, we’re secret boyfriends.” His face heated up. “Swear you won’t tell anyone, Mikoto. Please.” Kakuzu looked at me desperately, “Please!”

“Okay. I swear. But now I can’t ever look at you two the same way again. You can be gay if you want to, but… Oh yeah. Can you make me some sushi?”

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“Hey, thanks for the sushi, Chef Kazu-san!” I yelled, just before hopping over the couch and kneeling next to Kisame. I put the sushi tray down between us.

“Yay! Finally! What took you so long, Mikoto?” Kisame asked, already wolfing down the sushi.

“Oh, I got held up in Kakuzu’s room. I had to bribe him to make the sushi for me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would… Sushi-face, you owe me 1,500 dollars!”

Kisame choked on the piece of sushi he was eating and spit it out, “1,500 dollars!? That much!?”

“Well, yeah…” I rubbed the back of my head, “Kakuzu’s like a stubborn ,greedy mule when it comes to money, asnd making sushi is not one of his favorite things to do without a big cash reward for his work.”

Kisame groaned and finished off the plate.

“If you die, sue Kakuzu. I had nothing to do with the making of this sushi!” I snatched up the plate and hopped over the couch while Kisame stared after me, horrified.

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I was skipping away from the frightened-out-of-his-mind Kisame, when Pein called me over to him by the stairs. I skipped over to him. “Yes, Pein?” I asked, trying to regain my composure.