Restart My Heart

"Alex is here,"

The sound if his name almost made me jump out of bed. The white doors of my room slowly open and in steps a toe of a Van sneaker.

"Hey Levi," he said sheepishly at the frame of my door. He doesn't step another foot into my room and I know why.

Suddenly, I hate my mom for making me stay home. I told her clearly I saw fine after that incident at the hospital. Or outside the hospital since I technically never went in. The only feeling of sickness I felt was sick with regret because I know I should have went in, against everything, to find out just what the hell is haunting me. But I didn't.

I stiffly rose and rested my back against the millions of pillow my mom keeps piling on me. I consciously push my hair down, hurriedly in vain taking all the knots out my bedhead since I had been sleeping for over twelve hours.

"What are you doing here?" I asked to my surprise, not rudely.

He continued to stand at the doorway "You weren't at practice."

"Practice?" I asked confused

"The stupid practice for the talent show," Alex stomped in "I knew you forgot."

"Hey, I didn't forget!" I said defensively even though I clearly did not remember.

"It's fine," Alex mumbled, jamming his hands deep in his pockets. I have only seen him like that once "I see you're sick so it's fine."

"Okay," I said, filling the silence "Okay,"

"You could of called at least," he muttered, looking out my window. Alex suddenly looked like he was fifteen again; younger, in love with me. I shook my head. What the hell am I thinking?

"Sorry, you weren't exactly on the top of the list of people I care enough to call," I snapped, suddenly angry. I hated him with such an instant fury of all the things he had done to me and here he war, acting like he cared, like he was worried. Oh yeah, worried about the talent show so he won't flunk.

Alex finally looked directly at me. Something flashed in his hazel eyes "Well I should be, considering we have an assignment together. Even if it's just briefly."

We stared at each other with cold eyes.

I was the one who looked away first. I sighed, feeling more exhausted than before "If you came here to yell at me, then save it. I have no energy right now for this."

"No... I didn't. I just...." he blinked at me. An UPs truck and a bird flew by the window. Something about this moment felt so... nostalgic. In the deepest locks of my memories had the smell of Alex's shampoo stored, along with me in bed and warm skies out the window.

"What's between you and that Stephen Gomez?" Alex blurted

I felt my heart skip a wild beat. This is what he came here for while i had crazy hair and sporting pajamas. But there was something else in what Alex said that left me frozen. Something that resembled that Alex actually cared.

Alex sat beside my legs on the bed and sighed. Instincts drew me closer to him. I slid myself so I was next to him, my knees tucked beneath my chin.

"You're so tense," I tried to ease the tension and even pocked his stiff shoulders.

His hazel eyes fixated on me and his face broke into a smile. Not his trademark one. The one-dimple one. The one I remembered because no one else has seen it. Everyone knows his smirk; only I am aware of his soft smile. That smile always made me smile, like now.

Alex stretched his arms and legs and I did, too. That contagious air around him always drove me to do things I would only do with him. it was weird being so familiar with me again but also comforting.

Before I realized it, his head was on my outstretched lap. Of course.

I rolled my eyes but didn't move him.

"Nice choice of pajamas," Alex's smirk was back again and so was his teasing tone.

I looked dumbly down at my clothes. A thin camisole and satin booty shorts that stuck to my upper thigh when I sweat. Like now. I crossed my arms over my chest uselessly, knowing the old Alex was back.

"If you wanted girls wearing slutty clothes you would be at school. Why are you really here, Alex?"

His face suddenly dropped any ounce of humor he harbored. He blinked up at me, his head still laying on my lap. I tried hard not to squirm but his gaze always made me uncomfortable.

I counted the seconds that followed my question. I was about to open my mouth, tell him to forget it but he beat me.

"What's between you and Stephen Gomez?" he repeated

I blinked. "Nothing. As of now, we are just friends." I blurted before I could stop myself. It was true anyways so I just shut my mouth after that, not trusting myself.

Alex didn't look satisfied. But what did he want? For me to openly confess I loved Stephen? Or to lie and say I didn't care?

"He has a girlfriend," he said evenly

I rolled my eyes. This was getting on my nerves now, "Thanks pops, not that I need reminding."

Alex lifted himself up and wrapped his hands around my wrist "I'm serious."

"I am, too."

"Just... remember, okay?"

Maybe Alex was being genuine, as hard as that may be.

"Okay," I answered simply. I pulled my wrists away from him "You should get going now. Skipping school isn't good, Alex."

He smiles at me. It looks pained but I just wanted him to go before I turned rude again. I always do.

Alex walks towards the door but before he leaves he paused at the door "Bye Levi. Feel better soon."

I was taken aback "Yeah. Thanks. Bye."

And he leaves

It's the first time since a while that we didn't part screaming or yelling or angry at another. It feels good, being so comfortable around Alex again. To forget about our problems and push away the harbored hatred for him. I can't say I liked it but I can't say I hated it.