Restart My Heart

"I forgot to tell you something,"

It was bright and early the next day and Mom finally let me come to school, even though today I didn't want to come. I didn't see him at first because my locker door was open.

I glared at him. Alex knew i wasn't a morning person.

He raised his hands defensively, his eyes glistening more hazel than ever. That only happens when he has just woken up "Woah, don't kill me. I just had to deliver a message I forgot yesterday so Ruth doesn't kill me."

I raised an eyebrow quizzically. Seeing Alex two days in a row was too much for me to handle. And yesterday he was being so gentle.

Alex ran a hand threw his hair, "It explains my messy hair. I actually woke up early today to catch you this morning. And I don't know your number."

It was true. His hair was in that messy bed hair stage and his voice was slightly husky. If I was any other girl at this girl I would have melted.

"Unless you want to give it to me," Alex smirked.

I started pushing books into my bag and checked my reflection in my locker mirror. Today, I went with a chill look, my hair finally long enough to put into a side fishtail braid and tinted eye shadow at the corner of my eyes topped with mascara. I also wore a high pencil skirt with a white flowy, loose top and a turquoise bandeau underneath. "What do you want, Alex?"

"Why does it always have to be me wanting something? Why can't it be Alex giving you something?"

I giggled, which surprised me. Alex heard it, too.

"Your giggling means I'm right?" he leaned closer, his hazel eyes more green and glistening than ever.

My face went bright red. God, why did he have to bring it up? "No."

"That's not very convincing, Levi," he leaned closer.

"Or you're just wrong,"

"Or you just can't admit I'm right and you're wrong. For once."

"Back up Alex," I pushed me away with one finger "Tell me what you came to tell me or I'm kicking you in the balls."

He backed up immediately, a smirk still playing annoyingly in his lips. "Ruth asked me to ask you if you were coming to the mall Saturday so we could get costumes for our performance. She said we might get extra points if it looked like we pit lots of effort in it."

"Alright. See, wasn't that easy?"

"I like it hard," he smirked, cracking up to his own immature sexual innuendo.

I rolled my eyes, slammed my locker door and started walking down the hall.

"No, wait," he caught my hand, stopping me "I'm not done."

"More sexual references?"

Alex opened his mouth but his name from down the hall caught both our attentions. It was his sidekick and his most recent slut. They came skipping down the hall, attracting attention and not noticing our mid-conversation.

Or done conversation. I swung off his hand.

"Looks like your wanted," I smiled politely at the idiots still calling his name and turned back around, walking to my original destination.

It was weird how normal and un-bothered about it I was.

I reached Ruth's locker after she did.

"Good Morning," she smiled, "You came today!"

I ran a hand threw my hair "Yeah, your hair looks nice today."

A blush spread across her pale cheeks. "Um t-thanks. I wanted to try something new."

Now that I looked closer, not only did her hair swoop down over her shoulders in luscious, perfect curls, her makeup was different as well. Usually, all she put on was a light swipe of mascara but she went all out today; long, thick eyelashes, eyeliner and even gold tinted eye shadow at the corner of her eyes.

"You're definitely trying something, alright," I smiled "Who's it for?"

"N-nothing!" Ruth's entire face was beet red now and she looked cuter than ever. "I swear! I'm just taking your advice to, you know just be pretty for me."

My heart sank. Ruth was so beautiful; inside and out. I hugged her "I love you."

We started walking to class.

"So what's wrong?"

I stopped short

Ruth shrugged "You looked really flustered."

I started walking again, "About that. Why did you send Alex to give me the message? Why didn't you come yourself? Or call?"

Ruth looked at me with large, blue eyes. "I figured Alex and you could at least be civil. At least just for this assignment. Just because he's out of your life in the present doesn't mean he's out of your past. He will always be a part of who you are. You are living what he created. That is why you are so crazy to stick to Stephen even though he has a girlfriend because you want to get over Alex! You can ignore that fact your entire life or you can just accept it and live!"

And she stomped off. I didn't run after her like I should of. I know it was my fault making her this upset, I did have that accusing tone and I do know how sensitive Ruth is and how she is only filled with good intentions. But.

But I stood there while a wave of nausea and nostalgia and chills swallowed me.

Something in me sparked and I ran into the nearest bathroom and dropped on my knees, emptying my stomach in a toilet. Tears stung my eyes, blurred my vision but a flash of memory resurfaced in my mind, as crisp as fresh printed pictures.

My head hangs over the toilet for the fifth time this morning and I feel soothing hands run over my back, stopping at the small of it. I look up and Alex is there, handing me a glass of water.

His eyebrows crease together, his hazel eyes cloudy, hair a just-woken mess. "I'm worried, Levi."

I wipe my mouth with a towel and after rinsing out my mouth, I pull on a smile for Alex, "I'm okay, I promise. The doctor said this will happen frequently and even gave me pills."

Alex wraps his arms around me, my back pressing against the bathroom counter top. He buries his nose in my hair that must smell like vomit and he sighs. I am in awe with him.

"This is all my fault," he mutters

I force him to look at me and scowl "No, Alex. This isn't anybody's fault. This was an accident. A beautiful one, for that matter."

Alex stares at me with wavering eyes. "You shouldn't be in pain because of my mistake."

I give him my disapproving look that can kill "Stop blaming yourself. It hurts me when you do that."

Alex smiles. It's his real genuine one that reaches his eyes and reveals a single dimple. "I love you, Levi. More than anything. We are going to make amazing..."

"Shut up and kiss me," I cut in, hating how close his lips are but not close enough.

He doesn't hesitate to eliminate any space between us. Our lips fit together as perfect as they always did, even in these circumstances. Something fills my body and I know I love this man. For who he was; a player. For who he is; my boyfriend, who doesn't mind my vomit. And for who he will be; an amazing, supporting...