Restart My Heart

"Hey Levi!"

It was Monday but as I stared into my crowded locker, all that filled my mind was Friday.

And Stephen.

"Levi?"

Just the very thought of feeling closer with Stephen made me giggle like a maniac

"Hey,"

Then there was Alex. It has been a year, wait longer, since we hung out like that and I had to admit it was kinda sorta, just a little bit fun.

I missed--

"LEVI!" a face popped closed to my face, maiing me snap and jump, my books spilling all over the dirty school hallway.

"Hey are you okay?" Stephen said, helping me pick up my scattered books. An uncontrollable smile spread across my face and that giddy feeling filled my stomach again

I kneed down beside him and helped with the recollection, reaching for my math textbook, "Before you scared me like that, yes,"

"Sorry 'bout that. I called you a lot of times but you seemed so deep in thought. Anything good happen? Or bad?" Stephen said, reaching for my math text

"Just yester-" I stopped. Stephen had touched my hand accidently because we had reached for the same book. Cliche, right?

We stared at each other for a second and then bursted out laughing. Not anymore.

"Here," Stephen offered my book once he controlled his laughter

"Thanks," I replied, controlling mine too as I gathered the books into my arms.

"Thank you," Stephen said as we walked down the halls, our shoulders brushing against one another, our footsteps matching

"For what? You helped me with my books," I asked

"My sister thing? Really, if it wasn't for you -"

"If it wasn't for you, you mean. You are the great one," and I meant it.

He smiled almost embarrsly.

My phone suddenly vibrated. Who would be calling me this early? I swiftly flipped it open and froze, stopping infront of my homeroom.

"Atleast let me help you. You know, about your parents and all that you were telling me before. Levi?" I barely heard Stephen say or see him turn around for an answer from me.

I couldn't even look up as I read the text over and over again.

From: Blocked Number
Message: Do not even consider ignoing my texts because you will regret it. And it won;t be you paying me back, it will be the one I am commendig you to stay away from. Watch it, Bitch. And don't even consider telling anyone about this or He. Will. Die.

I raced through my mind, thinking back at the annoymous texts I had been getting latley and wht they were about. My head snapped up just to see Stephen's face inches away from mine.

"Are you okay, Levi?" Stephen asked, his eyebrows knitted together. He was worried, "Anything wrong with the text message?"

Stephen arched his neck, trying to get a peek at my phone screen.

He. Will. Die.

I snapped my phone shut, covering my shooken nerves with a smile, "N-nothing. Hey, I gotta get to class. See you later."

And I fled into my homeroom, ignoring Stephen's worried expression and the teacher yelling at me for being late.

__

"Pssst, Ruth!" I whispered to Ruth as quiet as possible without my anxiety getting in the way

I could tell Ruth was trying to ignore me because she was bitting on her thumb nail, strainng to pay attention to the teacher so I can;t get her in trouble.

"Ruuuuuuth!" I half whsipered slash hissed again

Finally, her shoulders slumped down and she spun around with the worldest most funny and pissed look.

"Ruth!" I whispered again

"I'm listening!" she schreeched, "And why don't you ever pay attention to..." she rambled on with her lecture

I would been happier ― maybe giggled if I wasn't so sunk deep with anxiety. I tossed my phone to her, showing her the scary annoymous texts.

_________

"So whats the master plan?" I said, bitting into a moist chocolate chip cookie

It was lunch and I was sitting with Stephen. Ruth wasn't here because she had to stay behind and do some work for the teacher

"Well, I did some thinking into this. You know I may have missed out on some algebra and trigonometry?" Stephen said, flipping some of his curls out of his eyes

"You missed algebra for me?" I said, my heart melting.

"Well, I had to repay my little cookie monster. And not with a cookie," he said before he stuffed half a sandwich in his mouth

I smiled. Stephen really is the perfect guy.

He could say something so cheesy without saying anything stupid to stick up for his man pride. He is not afraid to compliment a girl.

"First, you have to tackle the problem, not the enemy," he said, looking at me again

"This isn't football," I laughed

"I know, thankfully. What I'm saying is, you can't fight with your parents anymore. You have to fight the reason why you're fighting with your parents. So, no more rude comments. Understand?" Stephen demanded

I was about to reject but decided to give up. Stephen was right. I had to start being a nice girl because trust me, it is hard always throwing dirty comments on people.

"Yes master," I said

"Next, you have to find the problem. Why are you and your parents always fighting? What are you guys fighting about?" he asked, obviously really thinking hard into my problems.

Even though it maybe seem like he's over thinking with different steps for me to take and such but that just means he cares about me. He wants me to be happy and even though its out of debt, I am still happy.

"I don't know. A whole bunch of random things," I said

"Be specific please,"

"Um... honestly, sometimes there is no reason," I said

Stephen just gave me a look and then continued.

"What do you detest about your parents?" he asked

I stared at him.Did he just read my mind? How did he know I hated my parents even though I never told him I hated them? I mean, dested.

I'm glad he used the word detest though because I was not fully sure if i hated my parents. Hate really, really was a strong word and to use it so carefree, well, I can't do that.

"Well..." I looked around us.

There were many kids sitting around tables around us but no one payed any attention to us; they all had some other far more interesting thing to do.

"With my mother, I think she cares more about her stupid Ladies club then well... me. She would go to 'Garden Day' before making me dinner or helping me with my homework. It's not like I do it anyway but I used to pretend I didn't get it so she would be with me instead of her meetings. It worked but now she wouldn't even care if I did my homework or not.

And my father? He doesn't care about me anymore. He used to call me his little princesses and would always be there for me threw anything. We used to talk for hours about my future and who I would marry. Now he would rather watch my own mother hit me then come save me.

All three of us used to go on huge vacations together but now? It's just those two with so called business trips. I hardly get to see them but when I do, nothing good comes from their mouths. They don't ask me if anything special happened today. They don't even look at me anymore," I stopped not just realizing I was blabbing on but realizing tears were threatening to fall

I looked down at my hands clasped on my lap. What would Stephen think if he saw me cry again? He'd probably think 'Levi is such a crybaby. Jeez she is so weak...'

I didn't want to think about it anymore. I squeezed my eyes shut. Tears can't fall if I close my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Levi," I heard Stephen say

No, no! If he apologizes, then i might actually cry.

"You probably think I'm pathetic don't you?" I said, looking up and forcing a smile

"The exact opposite, Levi.You are much stronger than what I had imagined," he said, looking deeply into my eyes.

I bit my lip. With all his sympathy, I think i just might cry.

And then I smiled for real. Looking at him, it is almost impossible not to smile

"You make me stronger," my smile grew even wider.

He smiled back at me.

Then the bell rang, ruining our intament moment.

"Let's skip," Stephen surprisingly suggested.

I stared at him astonished

I knew he was thinking of me.

"Now, now, mister. You know it is not good," I said in a mocking way. I knew he cared about me and I was truly touched, but I couldn't ruin his education for that. He had already missed algebra for me and that itself meant the world.

"Alright," he laughed, gathering his garbage,"P.E?"

I picked mine too

"P.E," I said and we went to throw out our half-eaten lunches and then went our separate ways to our separate classes.

But before I entered the classroom, my phone beeped. I flipped it open hurriedly because I didn't want to be late for class again.

From: Unknown Number
Message: Roses are red, violets are blue. You told my secret, now look in your locker to see what I got waiting for you. Love, ∆

Oh no. I felt the blood rush out of my head. This ∆ was a fraud, so how did it know I told Ruth? I looked behind me, suddenly scared someone was standing over me watching the terror run through my veins. But nobody was there

I felt my bottom lip tremble with realization. What if I was being stalked?

My legs led me padding through the hallway to my locker on the third floor. It was already ten minutes into class and I knew I was going to be late for class, again. I was ridiculous for thinking anything could be in my locker. But my fingers worked my combo and in seconds, I swung my locker door open and there taped on the inside of the door was a picture of Alex and I.

It was of just a few days ago where Alex had trapped me in front of homeroom. That wasn't the worse part. It was that split second where our lips were almost touching. My face, which scared me the most, was pinched and desperate... like I actually wanted to kiss him.

I tore it off, close to tears. I then saw there something written on the back with a black sharpie.

Be careful bitch. You don't know how many lockers have this in it. Love, ∆

I read it over a few more times and stared at the endless rows of gray lockers. If this triangle had my combination, it might have the entire school's as well. My knees grew weak and sunk to the floor.

If this picture went out, the reputation I tried in vain to sustain would be thrown to the trash. The entire school would think of me as a weak girl

Stephen would think of me as a weak girl.

I tore the picture to shreds and stuffed the pieces into my bag. My fingers were shaking.

I fled into the girl's bathroom. A tear rolled down my cheek and after that they wouldn't stop. I was scared shitless, knowing ∆ wasn't joking around anymore, fraud or not. It was powerful and heartless and capable of anything. And it was everywhere

But mostly, I hated myself for being so pathetic as to give in to Alex. I swore to myself I would never go back to the darkest time of my life