Why is the Sky Sad?

James couldn’t believe what he had done. His mind swirled with un-coherent thoughts, all leading back to one: he was an idiot. She had been there, in his reach, nice, beautiful, an angel. And he had run, cried. Like a baby. Like a loser.

James didn’t dare go back in the house, waiting patiently as the rain slowed to a stop and the sun slowly backed away from its hiding spot. If James had a choice he would’ve already left, never to talk to Emma, to Richard ever again. Bu there was no choice- had had no money, no common sense, no hope.

James sighed, hoping that she’d never talk to him again, praying that she’d be in his room waiting for him. Either way he didn’t want to find out, so he just sat, the music of the birds keeping him company. Soon enough he drifted into a world where nothing mattered.

***
The clock had rung three more times before James gained consciousness. Snapping open his eyes, he looked around, slowly dying inside as he remembered what had happened. His dreams were full of wonder, fairy tails and real life seemed even more bleak and horrific in comparison. Even as his mind protested, James stood up and began to head for his room.

During his walk, James tried his best not to think of the feat ahead, keeping his eyes on the more black and whit things of life. The darkness of the midnight sky, the bright stars leading the way. The hard, cold body of the door, the warm, moist air inside. He tried not to think of brain and everything wrong with it. He tried not to think of her cigarettes and the embarrassing question he asked about them. He closed his mind off, only feeling the carpet beneath his bare feet, only hearing the dead silence of sleep.

When he got to his room, James felt like he’d scream, throw up, die, maybe all three. There she was, on his bed, asleep. Her hair was spread out like a halo, a direct contrast to his white pillow. She looked so relaxed, like she hadn’t a care in the world. James stood in the door, thrown off in more ways than one. What could he do? What should he do?

Emma stirred, rolling over to press her lips to the sheets. James imagined then that those lips had touched his instead and could almost feel them, almost taste them… His reality set in at that moment, Emma waited for him. She stayed- she didn’t hate him. As much as made him sick, he felt his heart kick to life, beating faster than ever before. With the smile of a thousand kings, James skipped to the bathroom, happy thoughts singing in his mind.

And then he curled up on the ground, beneath the shadow of his bed, the watchful eye of his angel.
***
Maria was a stranger in her own home. Her hand felt weird on the golden knob her fingers were gripping, different. She took a step, entering the abode with the delicacy of someone who doesn’t belong. She felt guilty thinking it but all she wanted was to turn and run. Her heart was beating like the wings of a firefly, her hands as clammy as a 5th grader with a crush.

She stopped past the doorway, closing her eyes, imagining her husband, her son. They needed her. She needed them. Her dainty feet echoed loudly against the walls of the seemingly empty house, another reason to just give up and leave.

“Keep going, keep walking,” she muttered to herself, helpless words to keep her legs working.

She stepped up the spiral staircase, the red carpet hard under her, something she used to hate about the house. Now something that made her cry. Tears still streaming down her face she made her way to his room, her husband’s sleeping body making her relax. Making her remember why she was back.

Maria tiptoed into the dark room, gently closing the door behind her. He was waiting for her, his strong arms there to make everything better. She stepped into the bed, ready to be loved.

***
Emma awoke with a start, her eyes finding the boy like a magnet to a locker. It’s true, what they say, a sleeping boy looks half his age. Curled up in a little ball, James looked ten, only a kid, a cute little kid. Watching his still body, his worry-free expressions, Emma smiled. And although she felt guilty thinking it, she wished he could be like this all the time. This normal. This peaceful. She sighed, hating herself for not loving him. Hating herself for pretending she did.

“Goodbye James,” she whispered, side-stepping him.

She always loved the hallway color, brown, a warm color that made her feel at home. She lived miles away but it didn’t feel like it in the hall. She belonged here, with Richard. She paused, stopping her thoughts as well as her body. She belonged here, with James. For James.

She shook her head, clearing the crazy thoughts that lay within. She began walking again, her heart racing at the thought of seeing him. She knew the butterflies were bad news, she knew this giddy; middle-school crush feeling would pull her down. But she couldn’t help it. He was just so different, so… Amazing.

She skipped, like she did as a child, thinking about those days. Those days without drama, those days without confused, conflicted emotions. Back then everything seemed okay. Of course those days lacked mature, hot men, new grown- up independence. Those days were, were great but it’s not like time can freeze. Emma’s confidence was back when she reached the door, not bothering to knock.

When she saw what lay before her, her heart plummeted and she froze. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, though she tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to destroy her.

There, in her side of the bed, cuddled up to him was Maria. Maria. Emma ran from the room, not caring about how loud she was. Maria, his damn wife. She never felt so alone in her life. She didn’t know where to go, her breath shaky, scared. She couldn’t go home, not now, not this late, not to them.
Emma looked towards the left, an automatic out. He was there, waiting for her, the little boy with a broken heart. She was a bad person. She shouldn’t play with him like this. But she found herself standing outside his door, looking in and longing for someone to love her back. She told herself not to, she told herself to turn around, but her broken heart didn’t listen. She sighed, then crawled up next to him, into his warm arms.