Why is the Sky Sad?

Richard?”

Emma hated how big his house was. Her voice always echoed uncomfortably and she always heard the maids running around either above or below her. It made her feel awkward- like she was only here for their entertainment.

“Richard, are you home?’

She checked his bedroom, his entertainment room, and his office and had no such luck finding him in any of those places. But she wanted to wait for him; he’d meant- he means so much to her. She can’t leave without saying goodbye.

She ended up in the music room, though she hadn’t planned on going there. It was the only room that she really loved, there was no wonder why her subconscious mind took her there. It was her cover for why she was hired; it was where she first met James.

She sat on the bench of the piano, playing her favorite song, eyes closed. She knew it by heart and though she hadn't played it in a long while, she was only a little rusty. She missed a note or two in the beginning, quickly getting back into the hang of it. Once she got into the groove, she started to sing along as quiet as she could.

She remembered her sister, singing the very same song. Both of them singing together. Oh, God, how she missed her. The way her eyes would light up talking about a boy she liked, or telling Emma the latest gossip going around the middle school. How she had always been jealous of Emma's hair, when all Emma had wanted was Marisa's pin-straight locks.

But that had been Marisa before. And in the states, she wasn't going to be the same sister Emma remembered her being. She was going to be different, depressed, sometimes not even in the same world. Though she'd be changed, Emma was still confident she'd love her.

“Emma?”

She opened her eyes to see James, with his eyes all wide and naïve. She hated to admit it, but once she left- she’d miss him too.

“Hey,” she whispered, her fingers still hitting every note. There was only a few left. “I just came to say good-“ she stopped herself, she didn't want to tell him just yet. "I just came to say hi and got sidetracked a little bit.”

James, nodded, carefully stepping in the room. It was like he wasn’t sure if she wanted him there. And it hurt him not to know.

She wrapped up the song, turning to face him completely. He deserved her full attention, especially when she was going to leave him soon. She had a feeling he got attached pretty easily and her leaving could destroy him.

“Just to say hi?” He asked, though he sounded careful. Emma smiled- at least it was better. The first time they had met this year- he wouldn’t have even had the guts to say that.

“Yeah, I was feeling pretty upset, about my sister Marisa. I could use some company.”

“You have a sister?
“Yeah, Marisa. She’s living in the states, at some special school.” Emma took a deep breath. She wasn’t hiding this anymore. She wasn’t going to be ashamed of Marisa. “Actually a mental hospital. Two years ago she tried to kill herself.

James wasn’t sure what to do- where to look. He wanted to reach out to Emma- hold her- ask her about his book club. But things had changed again. He was thrown off.

“Right after her hamster died, actually. I think that’s what pushed her over the edge. A fucking hamster. She tried twice, once she swallowed a bottle of pills, but I found her fast enough, and the second time she tried to hang herself but the rope wasn’t strong enough. She had a burn on her neck for the longest time.”

Emma played a key, promising herself that she wouldn’t cry. No, not here and now. Crying was done. She was going to visit Marisa and that was that. She couldn’t be so sad, Marisa wasn’t dead. .

“She was diagnosed bi-polar and my parents were to tired to try and help her themselves. So they shipped her to the states. More specifically to this school in the states for kids with depression, it’s basically a mental hospital for kids under 18. And I guess, she hasn’t really gotten any better. The school is a fucking waste of time. A fucking waste.”

She felt one tear snake down her face, but that was all she was going to allow. One tear was fine, two was not. And speaking to James about all this actually felt rather nice, he wasn't very judgmental and she could no longer keep everything in side. It was trapped in her box for too long.

James walked over to her, his hand hovering above her shoulder for half a second, before dropping down. He rubbed the cloth of her t-shirt, feeling uncomfortable but trying to do as gentlemen would.

“Can I- um, can I give you a hug?”

It sounded awkward and wrong, but it was out there. Emma stared up at him in disbelief, a hug? Was this even James?

“I-uh never mind.”

“No,” she jumped up, wrapping her skinny arms around his shoulders, “No. A hug would be nice. Really nice."

And for the first time in his life, James hugged someone other than his parents. And for the first time in his life- James felt needed.

*

Emma didn’t want to tell him just yet, so she stayed with her lie, teaching him how to play the piano for the better part of an hour, sharing with him all the funny stories of her sister. The atmosphere had completely changed. He didn’t say much, only responding when asked, but it was a milestone from where he first began.

She was going to miss him.

As James laughed at some joke she said, that really wasn’t really all that funny, Emma had a sinking feeling in her gut. She needed to tell him, it wasn’t fair to keep it from him.

“James.”

He stopped laughing abruptly; scared that maybe she was upset with him. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to laugh. Maybe he-

“I need to tell you something, and you’re not gonna like it.”

James froze. Was she going to tell him that she hated him? Was she going to tell him to leave? Tell him that she knew he was in love with her? Laugh at him?

That wouldn’t be much of a surprise. She had laughed at James before. Broken his heart before.

*
James felt his heart drop, plummet into his feet. Emma kissed Dirk on his stuffy cheek, leaning her head on his shoulder and sighing. James was by himself at recess again; Emma had gone back to that evil bully. And she didn’t even seem to care. What, did he mean nothing to her?

James wasn’t going to stand for this. He had to do something. He had gotten bangs, a pep talk from his mother and he wasn’t going to let Dirk ruin that for him. No way. He’d come this far!

James stomped over to where Emma was sitting with Dirk and a bunch of other evil third graders. Stupid older kids. He took a deep breath, then went right up to them.

“Emma, aren’t you gonna come play with me?”

She froze, her head still on Dirk. She looked guilty for half a second, actually feeling bad for James. It was true that she had played with him before break, but she was a changed woman now. And was definitely too cool to hang out with him and his weird friends.

“Um-” She was saved from having to answer because Dirk stood up, sticking a pudgy finger in the dip of James’ chest.

“Look loser, Emma doesn’t want to play with you,” he laughed, “Can’t you take a hint Dracula.”

A few of his friends snickered from the table. Dirk grew encouraged, poking his finger even harder, pushing James back a step.

“I-I think E-Emma c-c-can speak for her-herself”

“She already has Dummy. She doesn’t like you, nobody does. You’re weird and stupid to think that Emma would even want to play with you.”

With that, he pushed James back until he fell, tears pricking in his eyes. When he looked up he saw the five kids Dirk was sitting with, howling with laughter. And then he saw Emma doing the same.