No Angels Gracing the Line

Davey sat in the hospital waiting room. His hands were clapsed across his forehead as he leaned forward. His eyes burned with dark images. Images that were all to real, though looked as they should have been part of some horror flick. He sighed as he leaned back in the chair and looked at the clock.

It was only ten fifty in the evening. He gently rubbed the tiredness from his eyes.

"Mr. Havok?" asked a man.

Davey looked up, it was the doctor. "Yeah, what's going on?" he asked as he stood up.

The doctor hung his head, "I'm sorry, but Ashley's gone. She lost too much blood." he said softly.

Davey looked at him, "No. No! You cannot tell me that she's gone! I tried to save her! I-I-I brought h-her h-he-here to get..." Davey then felt his lungs refuse to work. His chest was tight as if someone was squeezing him too tightly. His head began to spin as the words faded into a blur. His eyes rolled up as he fell to the ground into a world of black.

The next day was the funeral. Davey was the only one that Ashley had left. He would have gotten some flowers, but prior to her death she requested that he didn't put flowers on her grave. She also didn't want any angels around either. Instead she wanted him to put down his motto on her head stone: "Live. Laugh. Love."

Davey thought it was weird that she would want some stupid words he expressed about love's effect on life. They were pretty simplistic, after all it was only three words long. Though she always added more to it. She said, "In order to have lived you must've laughed, and loved, otherwise it's not living to the fullest."

Davey felt the tears well up in his eyes as he looked down at Ashley's grave. Her casket was currently being open for one last viewing for him.

The casket opened and Davey felt his breath get caught in his throat. They cleaned her up good. Her golden blond hair was styled in her usual emo style and her eyes were outlined in their usual black raccoon eyes.

Davey put a hand to his mouth. Never again would he see her. Never will she pop over for surprise visits when he was home from tour. He wouldn't see her smile ever again or see those sparkling baby blues that captivated him for so many years.

Tears fell down his face as his body began to shake. He walked towards her and cupped her cheek. It felt stone cold underneath his touch.

If only he had intervened, if only he would have noticed those scars or the fact that she never seemed to have wanted to hang out anymore. Maybe he should've seen it coming when James entered the picture.

Maybe Ashley would still be here if Davey hadn't hid his true feelings from her this time. He should have just hugged her more, and crossed that friendship line. But never again would he ever get a chance to do any of that.

"Can I get a moment?" asked Davey as the mortuary staff stood there.

They nodded and walked away out of ear shot so he could talk to her privately.

Davey felt the grief overwhelm him as he kneeled down closer to her. "Ashley, I love you. I'm sorry..." he had to stop because the sobs soon began taking over his entire body. The tears blurred the world from his vision. He couldn't control it.

He thought of her when they were kids. She'd always hang around him and make him play house with her. Despite the fact that he was already a teenager. And she'd come to him whenever boys at school would break her heart and he'd take her somewhere fancy just to show off for them. She'd forget their names before the night was through. And the way she'd always drag him to random movies or take him for a road trip just so she could see him smile in even his most depressing times.

"I'd smile, but I'm too weak." he said softly through his now quieting sobs. He still didn't stand up.

The rain was beginning to fall, and it brought a cold wind with it. But Davey couldn't get himself to stand. He knew that he'd have to leave sometime, but he couldn't leave her by herself. Not again.

Davey felt a hand on his shoulder as it squeezed him comfortingly. He turned around. His eye liner was streaking down his face. His hair was to his shoulders and hung loosely in slight waves.

Jade smiled down at him, "You didn't think I'd leave my two besties would you?" he asked gently as he helped Davey up.

Davey tried to hold back that lump in his throat, but he hugged Jade as he began sobbing all over again. He was glad that someone had come to help him. The others didn't know Ashley.

He wanted to keep Ashley a secret because she was so beautiful and young. But she'd pop in unexpectedly and make her presence know, whether it was wanted or not.

The mortuary staff came back and closed the casket as Jade walked Davey to a black BMW. Davey had to smile inwardly at how cliche that seemed to be dragged to a black BMW.

That night Davey sat in his living room. He sat in a chair facing his windows. It was raining once again in old Mendocino county, more specific, Ukiah. He had moved back recently when he heard that Ashley was having problems with her man.

He was dressed in gray sweat pants. He had a hand supporting his head as he watched rain drops snake their way down his window, gradually getting fatter as more rain spattered on the window.

Everything felt surreal. He couldn't believe what had happened. He didn't want to believe that Ashley was gone. That she would never come in through his front door with the spare key that he'd given her.

Instead he had unwanted memories from the day before. He found her on the floor of her apartment. Her nose broken, bottom lip was swollen and she clutched her side as she gasped for help. She had a gunshot wound that was bleeding profusely.

He had never seen her that vulnerable before. He never thought that he'd ever have to see his bubbly little friend die like that. It seemed so unreal. And it seemed as though no one would appear and bring him back to reality.

He had disappeared from the world. He turned his ringer off and shut off the volume on the answering machine. He couldn't shake the images from his head. They played through his head like a never ending reel. It played through the day and sank into his dreams.

He jumped when his cell phone began vibrating on the window sill. He picked it up and at that same time the door opened. He looked over and seen Jade.

"There you are! We've been trying to get a hold of you. You're Ashley's last known emergency contact and the hospital needs to talk to you." he said as he walked up to Davey.

Davey looked at his cell and opened it because it was the number from the hospital. "Hello?" he asked softly as he looked up at Jade.

Jade stood there and remained quiet. He looked around and seen that Davey's place was pretty empty looking. He had moved in almost a month ago, and the boxes were still sitting around unpacked.

"Mr. Havok, I'm Dr. Clair. I was wondering what your relationship with Ashley was like." asked a male from the other end.

Davey frowned, "We were friends, best friends. Why do you ask?"

"Well, she's put that if anything were to happen to her that her baby is to be released to you. We've got social services here to ensure that the infant would be living in a healthy environment. Would you be able to come down?" asked Dr. Clair.

Davey sighed inwardly, "What's her name?"

"Angel Lynn Havok. Ashley was pretty adament about the name. Is she yours?" asked Dr. Clair.

Davey smiled softly, "Yeah, she's mine. I'll be right down." Davey then hung up the phone and looked up at Jade. "Would you be a pal and help me unpack those last few boxes? I've got a kid to take care of." he said as he stood and began walking to his bedroom.

His legs felt a little stiff and weak because it was the first time since the funeral that he'd move. He hobbled into his room and began looking for some clean clothes. He picked up a shirt and sniffed it as Jade entered his room.

"What do you mean a kid? Who's kid?" he asked as he leaned against the door way.

Davey grinned, "Ashley's kid."

Jade tilted his head in confusion, "She has a kid?"

"I'm guessing that's why James tried to shoot her down. But if he didn't want a fucking kid then he should have just kept his dick away from my girl. She named the kid after me though." said Davey as he stripped off his shirt and replaced it with a clean one.

Jade shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, so which room is the baby's?" he asked.

Davey slipped on some jeans over his sweats and walked out to the hall, "The one at the end of the hall. That was Ashley's room when she stayed over."

Jade nodded as he entered the room to begin his work as Davey left.

Davey came home sometime later with Angel. She was tiny and slept against his chest. She weighed a mere 6lbs. 5oz. and was sixteen inches long. She was an exact copy of her mother, with the exception of her jet black hair. Davey entered his house with the social worker.

Davey threw open the door and was surprised at how his house looked. Everything had been unpacked and nicely tucked away. There were no more boxes in the living room. "This is the living room, and the kitchen and dining area over there." said Davey as he showed her around.

The social worker opened the fridge, "What kind of diet is this?" she asked looking at his bare selection of vegan cuisine. She was of African American descent. Her velvety chocolate skin complimented her features. She wore a tan suit with black heels.

"I'm vegan. No dairy or meat." he said. "And uh, let's go to the baby's room." he said as he began walking down to Ashley's room. "This used to be her mother's room when she'd stay over when we were kids."

The social worker simply nodded and looked around as Davey opened the door.

Davey had to hold his surprise. The room was beautiful. The walls were still painted with the same girly pink walls with black stars and white hearts all around. The band posters had been taken down and replaced with black and white visual puzzles, and some Escher drawings as well.

In the middle of the room was a pink crib. The mobile was of Winnie-the-Pooh, as was the sheets and blanky in the crib. There was a change station in the corner of the room, and a little dresser next to that. A rocking chair sat by the window facing out. There was a basket on the rocking chair.

It contained an array of baby necessities along with a huge stuffed bear with balloons tied to his paw. A note was attached to the balloons by a bow.

Davey grabbed the note as he still clutched on to Angel.

Congratulations, daddio.
The boys helped out. Hope Angel likes it.
-Jade and the boys

Davey smiled, "This is Angel's new room." he said.

The social worker nodded, "Alright, well this looks like a very decent place. Congratulations on being a new father."

Davey smiled, "I will. Thank you." he said as he showed her out. He bounced Angel softly as she squirmed in his arms. He entered Angel's room and kissed her on the forhead.

She was beautiful. She opened her eyes and looked up at Davey. She had the same big beautiful blue eyes of her mother.

Davey felt the tears well up as he remembered Ashley. He looked up the night sky as he inched closer to the window. "Well Ashley, there was no Angel gracing the line. I'll do all that I can to take care of her. I love you." he said as he cried softly. "I love you." he whispered more softly as he kissed Angel on the forehead.

He put her down in her crib and covered her up. He held her hand for a few seconds before turning on the baby monitor. He then smiled down at Angel. Her eyes were beginning to close once again. Davey opened the door and looked back once more, "Goodnight Angel." he whispered. He then turned and exited the room.