The Wasted Days.

After three hours we were both still laying there, awake, talking, thinking. After three hours we were still comfortable in each other’s arms. After three hours I was still floating, disbelieving of everything.

How could something so tragic pull us together like this?

Somewhere, somehow, I knew why though. Or at least I could think I did.

Maybe he just wanted this final chance to get close to me. I felt something flutter in my chest, because maybe, just maybe, he’d always felt the same way I did. Maybe he’d always wanted to get close, to be more than just friends. Maybe now was just his last chance to do that.

“I’ve always wanted to go out to some abandoned field, or something, and, like, take a picture of a bunch of balloons. I’d write things I could never say on them.” I smiled. I could tell the world what no one else would. I would convey what I never could out loud. “I would take a billion pictures, too.” I whispered.

“Really?” He whispered back. It was as if we had this agreement where we couldn’t speak above a certain decibel or it would brake the magic that seemed to be coating us. “What else?”

“You know those little paper birds? The origami ones?” I asked and could feel him nodding from behind me. “I want to make a thousand of them.”

“Why?” He asked and in his confusion he had broken the silent rule. His voice seemed to ring and hang in the air around us.

“I don’t know, I just think that it’d be cool.” I shrugged, feeling slightly stupid. But then again, he’d been the one to ask in the first place.

“Maybe you could let them float down that river across town.” He suggested.

“The one behind Alexa’s house?” I asked, not sure if there was a line when it came to the ex-best friend, or if I was toeing it.

“Yeah.” The bitterness was almost undetectable.

“That’s not a bad idea.” I smiled.

“I have to pee.” He muttered, pulling away from me. As I rolled over to lay on my back in disappointment, I could hear him chuckling and he left my room. I heard him walking down the hall in the wrong direction.

I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure what to think, but then shrugged it off. He knew what he was doing, he was Jared. No matter how crazy the kid could be, you had to admit that he always knew exactly what he was doing.

I stretched my arms over my head, wondering where he had gone. I lifted one hand with my finger pointing along the route that the crack followed across my ceiling. Footsteps thundered into my room and I tried to ignore his excitement, but the truth was that it was just too infectious and I found my heart pounding in my chest before he even sat himself next to where my stomach was.

“Guess what I found!” He was out of breath and I looked up to him, finding his hair completely dusted over and a big, black object in his hands.

“What’s that?” I asked, realizing he must have been digging around in the attic, which would definitely explain all of the dust. I held back a sneeze as I moved to sit up next to him.

“Look.” He smiled, making me smile. Maybe everything about him was infectious.

He handed me the old, black object and as I turned it over gingerly in my hands I realized what it was. It was the old camera I had inherited from my dad’s dad. My grandfather, the photographer. I fumbled with it until I figured out how to turn it on. It wasn’t so old, I just wasn’t used to it.

I looked up to see Jared’s expectant face. “I love you.” I said, only half joking. I snapped a quick picture of his ecstatic face and then turned the camera back off. “The disposable kind would have been fine you know.” I muttered, setting it on the table next to my bed before leaning forward to wrap him in a hug.

“I knew that was up there and I figured it would be cooler.” He shrugged, pulling away. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Where are you going?” I asked suspiciously, making him stop on his way to the door.

“To the store.” He stated. I moved to get up, but Jared rushed back over to me, pushing me back onto the bed. “Where are you going?”

“To the store.” I smiled up at him, daring him to say that I couldn’t.

He stepped back and I sat up as he sighed and walked across the room. “Fine. Go change your clothes. Be quick.”

~~~

I stayed silent, just listening to the sad song floating from his speakers. It was so quiet and the rhythm was just so slow that I didn’t even want to know the words. I didn’t need to know what it was about to know that it was sad.

“Ready?” He asked watching me as I nodded and opened my door, stepping out into the sun for the second time today. For the second time in two full days I stepped outside and relished the feeling of the sun on my skin. I sighed.

“What are we here for?” I asked, observing the large Walmart we were walking towards.

“Not sure. We’ll see.” He murmured, wrapping an arm protectively over my shoulders. I rolled my head back so it laid on his arm, smiling and facing the sun.

It all felt so good.

It felt so good, in fact, that I actually forgot all about the ache.