The Wasted Days.

I heard the phone start ringing, but I didn’t really care. Jared and Alexa had just dropped me off at home. You could have cut the tension in the car with a knife. No one dared to say anything. I sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter before picking up the phone and pressing it to my ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, honey…” My mom’s voice sounded too sweet.

“What’s wrong?” I asked and then before she could say anything I added, “When are you really gonna be home?”

“Uhm, about that…” She trailed off again. I stayed silent, waiting half-impatiently for her to just tell me already.”It could be another week.” She spit it out quickly, just like ripping off a band-aid.

“Did you leave enough money for that long?” I asked, not really expecting a ‘yes’.

“Oh, of course I did, honey.” I hated when she called me that. Was it so hard to say my name?

I rolled my eyes skeptically. “Mmhmm… okay, well, I’ll talk to you later mom.” I nodded to myself before turning around, getting ready to hang up the phone.

“Okay, I love you, honey.” I could hear the smile in her voice, including how fake it was. I grimaced to myself.

“Love you.” I murmured before gently placing the phone on the hook. Turning around I by-passed Mini where she lay in the middle of the living room floor. Slowly I made my way up the stairs and into my room, still painted the girly pink I’d painted it the summer I turned twelve. I grabbed the first stack of clothes I saw and flung them onto my bed, careful to not let them unfold. Maybe a hot shower would do me good.

And then some sleep. Sleep sounded good.

~~~

The floor was hard beneath me and no matter how many times I told myself to just get up and walk away, I couldn’t take my eyes away from the screen in front of me. It just sucked me in.

And then it literally sucked me in.

Ants ran before my face, little black pieces of fuzz flew past my eyes. The loud sound burning in my ears. The black and white disappeared and instead bright, thick lines of color filled everything around me. Red, blue, green, yellow. Any color you could think of and it was there in a block in front of me.

I reached out and I lost all feeling in my hand. Pins and needles, completely numb. Like when you let your foot fall asleep, from my fingertips all the way to my elbow, and then to my shoulder. Then it swallowed half of my body, and then the other half, and then finally it swallowed my head.

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to pull away from the feeling. I kept blinking, hoping that I could see something other than the big blast of colors. They melded themselves together before my eyes and then formed straight lines and then back again, making me dizzy and blind.

Soon the white noise came back, louder than before. The colors faded to black and white, pulsing with the noise. The black and white bars crackled and broke apart into little shards and shrunk away until all I could see was white.

The noise came at me in waves. Louder, louder, louder, until I felt like my ears were bleeding. I felt like my eardrums had exploded. I was deaf, the noise was disappearing. Shapes started to form in the white. A table and a few chairs. A bed with a tall and thin stand next to it. It was so blurry, I couldn’t figure out what I was looking at. I was looking down at it all, almost from an angle.

What’s going on…

A glaringly loud beeping was next to my head and I reached out and swiped my arm at it. My head hurt, and I swear it was the worst headache I’ve ever had.

Ever.

After the inane beeping didn’t stop I rubbed my eyes and sat up, looking around me. Source? Alarm clock. Time? Eight fifteen.

“Shit!” I screamed. This would be the second day in a row. What’s going on with me. Half the time I didn’t even need to use my alarm clock. “Why?” I yelled before checking the dresser where my phone sat, screen lit up and angry. Two missed calls.

‘Dude, I don’t know where you are and why you aren’t answering your phone, but I’m thinking about just leaving you here.’ Jared’s voice called through the small speaker in my phone.

‘Mmkay, Salem. I don’t know what your deal is, but I really can’t just sit here waiting. You locked the door. When do you ever lock the door? I’m sorry, but I’ll see you later. I just can’t afford another tardy.’ He had sounded pissed at the beginning, but slowly he calmed down and just sounded sad and somehow worried.

“Fuck!” I screamed, almost throwing my phone at the pink wall that seemed to be glaring at me. “Shit.” I shook my head. My hands fell limp at my sides and I decided that breakfast would be a good idea.

I rubbed the side of my face, hoping maybe my frozen fingers could rub away the red that had made its way into my cheeks. The cupboard told me that no one had gone grocery shopping for a while. “No cereal? Come on! That’s like… a staple, or-or something! Mom!” I wailed hunting around the rest of the kitchen, trying to find anything else that sounded even remotely appealing. “Milk?” I asked to myself, before opening the fridge to take it out. “No-freaking-way.” I muttered when I saw there was barely enough milk left in the half-gallon for a good glass.

I rolled my eyes and threw my head backwards letting out a loud groan. My hands clenched themselves into fists and I punched the air in front of me. “I hate you.” I whispered and I could feel the wetness on my face before I really realized I was crying.

Pressure kept pushing itself down on my shoulders until I just couldn’t stand it. I ran back up to my room where I punched the pinkness as hard as I could and screamed until my throat hurt and I doubted I could speak anymore.

I fell to my knees and cradled my throbbing hand. My head was bowed and hot, salty tears dropped onto my hand, slightly soothing the pain. What’s wrong with me?