The Wasted Days.

I sat with my feet curled under me in the corner of my couch. I had my jacket wrapped tightly around me and was still cold. Needless to say, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere today. My stomach grumbled and I placed my non-bruised hand over it, thinking about what I could eat without leaving to buy food.

Eventually I stood up and moaned. I felt like the living dead, otherwise known as shit. I leaned into the highest cabinet and pulled out the last good jar of peanut butter. I blamed the other four deserted jars on the shelf on Jared, who tends to double dip and then whines, forcing me to get a brand new jar. I set the good, un-opened jar down on the counter and reached in and grabbed two of the defiled ones. I grinned as I threw them into the trash across the room. Then I grabbed the other two and did the same.

I danced a little in victory. All four made it into the garbage and I was all the way across the room!

Smiling, I pulled out the bread drawer and took out two pieces of bread. I spread peanut butter on them thickly and took a big bite out of one, making my mouth stick together. I hummed lowly to myself as I peeled open a banana and sliced thin pieces onto my peanut buttered bread. I threw the knife into the sink, knowing I’d have to wash it later anyway, and grabbed a clear glass out of the strainer. The tap water was bubbly in my glass and I made a disgusted face at it before taking a swig.

My nose crinkled up and I quickly went back to munching on my peanut-butter-banana sandwich. It was high on the list of my favorite foods, I could live on this alone.

The yipping from the other room told me that Mini probably had to go out, and I sighed, wanting so badly to just ignore it. I didn’t want to face the brisk air that I knew would meet me as soon as I opened the door. I loved autumn and all, but sometimes it got just a little too cold for my liking.

“Okay, alright. I’m coming.” I grumbled rolling my eyes as I searched for the little dog. Why my parents had gotten a Chihuahua was beyond me, but I have never really liked her or small dogs in general. I picked up the tiny, tan thing and almost threw her out the door before escaping back to my sandwich.

~~~

Across the room, on the dresser, my phone vibrated. I sighed, for what was probably the hundredth time today, and swung my legs over the side of the bed to pick it up. I realized too late that it wasn’t a text and that someone was actually calling me. I flung myself onto my bed and murmured a small ‘hello?’

“Thank God, Salem! I’ve been trying to talk to you!” Jared’s slightly relieved, slightly pissed off voice came loudly through the small speakers.

“I’m sorry… I guess you could say I’m taking a mental health day.” I almost questioned myself. What am I doing, exactly?

“Are you okay?” There was a yell in the background and all of the other noise told me he was at lunch. I could hear Lexa’s familiar voice, but I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Jared probably had his hand over his phone. “Lexa wants to know what the hell you’re thinking.” He sounded apologetic.

I didn’t say anything for a while, unsure of what I was supposed to say. “I’m fine. My mom called and I’m alone for a while yet…” I instantly regretted saying that. I could feel his next suggestions and didn’t need them here to witness whatever was going on in my head. I quickly added, “Tell Lexa that I have no fucking clue.”

I heard him mutter something to Lexa before turning back to the phone. “Do you want us to come over?” He sounded unsure about something.

I wanted to say ‘no’ so badly, and for the life of me I could not figure out why. “Actually, I was just about to jump into the shower.” I lied. “I thought that maybe it would help me think straight,” I shook my head and rolled so I was on my back. My bruised fingers found their way to the bridge of my nose. My eyes squeezed shut tightly, “or something.”

“Yeah… yeah…” I could hear the faint ring of the bell. “Listen, we’ll be by after school.”

“Wha-“ I heard the click of him shutting his phone. I imagined the two of them running to get to class on time. Once again running late because of me. “What the fuck.” I moaned to myself. I shut my phone with a little bit too much force and threw it into the pillow beside me. I couldn’t afford a new one.

I piled a shirt and some sweatpants onto one of my arms and then grabbed underwear and socks. Slowly, I padded into my bathroom and hit the heater to turn it on. My clothes became a pile on the counter and I shut the door to lock the heat in. I wanted this to last forever.

I lowered myself onto the ground in front of the bath tub and closed my eyes, savoring the heat aimed towards me. A shiver ran up my spine and I moved so that my skin wouldn’t burn. My watch told me I’d been sitting there for longer than I’d thought. It was nearly one thirty. I stood up and pulled off my socks, and then my pants, and then my shirt.

I turned the small knob for hot water and waited for it to get just right. Then I hit the small button to make it run through the shower head. I tried to avoid the mirror as I waited for it to warm up enough, but it didn’t work.

A pale face stared back at me. Two small, dull, dark green eyes surrounded by red and puffy skin. A small nose dry and still sniffling, sick-looking. Chapped lips and my chin. Ugh, don’t even get me started on my chin! As the mirror started to fog up I ran a hand along my cheek. It looked paler than I remember.

Then again, maybe that was just the mental torment I’ve been putting myself through.