Don't Change The Way You Think Of Me

I growl as Johnny and Aaron get at it the second time this morning. Aaron is attacking Johnny's face as they both lean up against Johnny's locker, and this is just a quick good-bye because homeroom is the only class they don't have together. It makes me absolutely sick.

My stomach lurches as I see Aaron dominantly push open Johnny's mouth with his own. I can practically see him shove his tongue far down Seward's throat. I shake my head and slam my locker door a little harsher than usual. I can feel people staring at me, watching me stare Aaron down even though Aaron doesn't know this. Some people actually watch the make-out session as they pass by, which is exactly what Aaron wants, that fucking attention seeking whore. He's only with Johnny to add another name to his list of fucks, which I'm sure he has stashed somewhere.

I stalk off five minutes early to my own homeroom when I can't stand the show any longer. I sit in my usual desk in the middle row, right behind Johnny, who's seat is currently, and obviously, vacant. I cross my arms, and continue scowling, thinking of the many thousands of ways I can kill Aaron inhumanely. I'm thinking of nailing him to a cross when the teacher looks at me with confusion. I just glare at her until she looks away. I scratch the cross idea. I wouldn't be tall enough to nail his hands in painfully. And I have no idea where I'd get that much wood around here. And then there's also that slight problem that the neighbors might notice.

Finally, the first bell of the day rings and the other kids make their ways slowly into the room. But no Johnny. Usually he's earlier than me. My eyebrows furrow together. Aaron, no doubt, is the cause. I cross my arms tighter across my chest as the late bell rings, followed by more of Johnny's absence. I sigh in frustration.

"What'cha thinking about, Matt? Johnny Boy over there?" Brian whispers. He has the wickedest smirk I've ever seen on him. He leans in closer, making sure that no one can hear him except me. "Have you ever thought that you might be a little... oh let's say... jealous of Aaron over there?"

It's as if that statement caps off the worst morning of my entire life, and the beginning to the worst day of my entire life. I'm about ready to punch Brian square in the nose, to make sure he would regret ever saying that to me, but the door opens and Johnny's there, taking me by surprise. I try not to let Brian notice this though. Without turning my gaze from Johnny, his lips red and puffy from the kissing, I fire back at Brian, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know," he mutters, when I know for a fact that he doesn't. He starts humming "Here Comes The Bride" in my ear. I finally turn around and give him a hard smack to the arm. He tries to rub the pain away while he laughs at me. "Fuck you, Bri," I mutter to him as I watch Johnny looking at me carefully as he sits down. He licks his lips, places his books on his desk slowly, and sits down.

"Matt...." Brian whispers. "Do you take this lovely man here to be your wife?"

My fist is just about to connect with his face when the teacher looks up from attendance and spots me. "MATTHEW SANDERS!!!!!!!!" she shrieks. My arm drops to my side quickly, not harming Brian (which he really deserves at this point), and I jump. "Yes miss?" I ask calmly. Brian snickers uncontrollably beside me. "Fuck you," I whisper. "Lunchtime, you're dead."

"Go to the office and explain to them what you just did."

"What?!" I spread my arms wide in defense. "I didn't even hit him! And he was bugging me!"

"I don't care, go! and don't come back to my class today!"

I sweep my books off my desk angrily, glaring at Brian all the way. I catch Johnny looking at me, hell, I catch everyone looking at me shocked and open mouthed. They all know I have a temper, they should be used to it by now. As I stalk straight to the door, I need to get my last word in. "Fucking bitch," I call out to the teacher. I don't yell it, but it's loud enough so that everyone can hear me. I slam the door behind me and walk to my locker.

It's just my luck that Aaron's still there at Johnny's, this time chatting up some girl. I take time putting my books away into my locker, so that when that girl leaves, I can talk to Aaron myself. It takes them literally five fucking minutes to break up the conversation, Aaron ending it with suggesting that she could help him with his homework sometime. I snort and shut my locker door as he walks in my general direction.

"I thought you had Johnny to help you with your homework, whore," I call out. He just smirks at me as he tries to walk past. No such luck for him. I grab him by his shirt and throw him against the locker next to mine, holding his neck. "Hmm?" I continue.

"Johnny and I are in two different math classes is all, and we're on two different subjects in math. It's that simple, idiot." I push him harder against the locker, earning a mangled grunt from his throat.

"Doesn't mean Johnny can't help you out anyway. He knows what he's doing. Or do you just want to add him to your List along with that other girl, slut?"

He smirks at me. "Call me a slut and a whore all you want, it doesn't phase me. But me being with Johnny, does that bother you?" His smirk grows wider. "I thought you two hated each other with a passion? But then again, hate is a form of passion."

I slam him into the locker again. "Fuck you!" I scream. "I hate you more than you could ever imagine, more than that little shit. Now stay away from him if you know what's good for you," I growl before releasing him from my grip. He starts walking away, but not before he gets the last word.

"Funny," Aaron calls out, "that you didn't have a problem with me before I started dating Johnny."

After he leaves, I take all my pent up anger out on the lockers, leaving a few dents here and there. I might get called on it, but I don't give a fuck right now.

At lunch, Brian sits beside me, laughing as he retells the story of homeroom to Zacky and Jimmy. I just sit there, annoyed, eating my disgusting cafeteria food with no real interest in it.

"And then he called her a fucking bitch, right in front of the whole class!"

Everyone bursts out laughing. "Fuck you," I spit in between mouthfuls of meatloaf. Brian punches my arm playfully. "Aww, come on Matt, I'm only kidding. Sorry I got you into trouble. It was funny though, you got to admit."

"Hilarious," I grumble. If Brian didn't get me kicked out of class, I wouldn't have had my conversation with Aaron. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is that my blood pressure is not at it's lowest today.

Speak of the devil, I spot Johnny and Aaron walking down the crowded isle to get to a table. Aaron spots me looking first. Smirking, he slowly wraps his arm around Johnny's shoulder, pulling him closer. My blood starts boiling again, and I give him the death glare, thinking again of all the inhumane ways I could kill him. Drowning him slowly in ice cold water would help. Then, Johnny looks over my way, and I stop glaring. Something flashes across his eyes, but I can't tell what it is, because as soon as it's there, it's gone. Aaron kisses the top of Johnny's head for added effect. As soon as they finally finish walking by, I blow a gasket. I get up forcefully from the bench, taking my tray of half-eaten meatloaf with me to the garbage. Zacky quickly gets up with me, sensing something's really wrong. Without looking, I throw my meatloaf in the trash, not knowing whether it makes it in or not. I speed walk out of the cafeteria, Zacky hot on my trail.

"Dude, what was that all about? Brian said he was sorry, and he really meant it. But you just got kicked out of class, it's no problem!"

"I'm not mad at him, okay?" I say, whirling around to face him. "It's something else, and no, I don't feel like talking about it right now." I turn back around, leaving Zacky there, speechless, and head for the nearest exit out of the school.