You're My Addiction

It was awkward standing at a party for work with a guy you had a complicated relationship with back in high school, and who you might still love but are trying to get over, and if he at one time got you pregnant. If that didn’t make it sound bad enough, everyone thought Brian was Ellie’s boyfriend, which made them constantly think about their complicated relationship together.

The hospital was hosting an expensive, formal evening for the holidays in the ballroom of a fancy hotel. At first, Ellie didn’t want to go at all because that would mean she had to go out and buy a new dress, but then she found out it was almost unheard of for anyone not to go. She wished she was working at the time it was supposed to be, but of course it was on one of the only nights she had off. So, running out of excuses, it was impossible to find another way out.

Since that dilemma was unsolvable, she moved on to finding a date. Her first choice had been to take Zacky with her, but he was busy that night. He had been planning to go to a concert with a friend of his for a long time. He offered to back out and to go with her.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities to go to the same concert another time,” Zacky said. “It might be kind of fun anyway. Is it an open bar?”

“Yes it is,” she replied. Zacky groaned at the prospect of free alcohol. “But you can’t ditch someone to go to some stupid dinner with me. I don’t even want to go anyway, so I’ll probably just leave as soon as possible.”

“But it’s a free bar, Ellie! And free food. It’s my two favorite things in life for free,” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. Just then, Matt and Brian walked into the kitchen. Brian went to look in the refrigerator for something to eat, while Matt took a seat next to Zacky at the table.

“Hey Matt, can you go to this dinner thing I have for work next Friday? I need to bring a date, and I know you’re my brother, but I thought you would do,” Ellie said. She thought he looked skeptical, so she quickly tried to make it sound better. “You would get a free meal and have access to an open bar.”

“As appealing as that does sound, Val and I have to choose the menu for the wedding reception that day,” he replied. “Trust me, I’m starting to get sick of anything that has to do with weddings, so I would gladly take an excuse to get out of it, but this is one thing I just can’t escape from.”

“I could go if you need me to,” Brian said as his head popped up over the top of the refrigerator door. “I’m pretty sure I’m free on Friday.”

Zacky sent Ellie an uneasy look that only she would understand. At first, she had considered Brian an option after Zacky, but she quickly had crossed him off of her list. She was doing better in his presence, but there was something about him technically being her “date” that made her feel a little weird. She didn’t want to put herself into a situation that would involuntarily raise her expectations from him.

But now, after he had generously offered to help her out, she couldn’t really say no, especially after her brother had heard. And, honestly, she really didn’t have any other date options left.

“Alright,” she reluctantly agreed. “I guess that could work.”

So, here she was now, awkwardly standing next to him. She couldn’t even count how many of her coworkers had asked her if Brian was her boyfriend already. After about the fourth or fifth time was when Ellie started to take advantage of the open bar.

She had picked out an emerald green dress that was made out of what looked liked silk. It was also another thing that contributed to her awkward factor, as it was more revealing that she originally thought. It was a halter dress that came down in the front and ended in a jeweled design. Her back was also pretty exposed.

Ellie had seen the look that crossed over Brian’s face when he first saw her, and she knew this was not a good idea. There was no doubting they were still crazily attracted to each other, and wearing revealing formal wear wasn’t helping at all. The fact that Brian was even more handsome in a tux, and that his hotness factor was increasing dramatically with each martini she was knocking back was just making her feeling jumble together into one big mess.

“I could get used to this,” Ellie said as she took another drink. Her speech was starting to get a little bit slurred. “Who knew working in a hospital could come with so many perks? I mean, you don’t get a holiday party for being in a band, although, I guess you could have one if you really wanted to. Let’s face it though, it wouldn’t be as fancy as this, and I wouldn’t have to wear a gown. I forgot that I do enjoy wearing fancy gowns.”

“How many of those have you had now?” Brian asked. She could tell he was concerned, but she knew he was also finding her amusing.

“I don’t know,” she answered, waving her hand like it was no big deal. “Three, seven, what’s the difference anyway? It’s free alcohol, it tastes good, and it makes this dinner a whole lot more bearable.”

Ellie looked at him and smiled. He was so good looking right now, and all she wanted to do was kiss him. She already knew that alcohol and Brian in the same setting were a bad idea, so she didn’t know why she always put herself in this same situation. It never ended in a good way.

“I agree with you one hundred percent, but I think I may have to cut you off soon,” Brian said with a laugh. He was about to say something else, but a woman came up to them and introduced herself. He could tell Ellie didn’t like her by the way she squinted her eyes while the woman talked. He always was the one who could read her the best out of everyone.

“Oh, Ellie, it’s so nice to see you here tonight. I heard a rumor that you might not be able to make it, but I’m glad to see otherwise,” the woman said with a sickly sweet voice. Brian instantly disliked her as well. She seemed like she was the kind of woman who looked for gossip everywhere, and once she finally got a grasp on something really good, she liked to spread it like wildfire.

“Oh, hello Cathy,” Ellie said back. She had a fake expression plastered all over her face, and her voice was mimicking the woman’s. Brian knew she was acting like this because she had a little too much to drink. Usually, Ellie never showed dislike for a person. The woman, Cathy, glanced over at Brian and her eyes rested on his tattoos for a few seconds too long.

“Is this your boyfriend, Ellie? I’ve never heard you mention him before,” Cathy asked, clearly trying to see how far Ellie would let her pry into her personal life. Ellie noticed her scrutinizing gaze, and her face instantly hardened as she clenched her teeth together.

“You know what?” Ellie answered calmly. Brian felt her arm snake around his waist, and it surprised him. He felt her lose her balance, and he had to wrap his arm around her shoulders to steady her so she wouldn’t fall. “This is my boyfriend, and his name is Brian. He has a lot of tattoos.”

He felt her pull the sleeve of his jacket up as she leaned more heavily into him for support. Cathy’s eyes widened in disapproval as she glanced down at Brian’s arms. She also may have been surprised at Ellie’s attitude since she was usually easily intimidated.

“And you know what else? We have sex all-“

“Okay, it was nice meeting you Cathy, but there’s something over on the other side of the room that requires or attention,” Brian said, quickly cutting Ellie off from saying anything else that was stupid. He walked her over to the other side of the hall, where there was music playing and people dancing. Brian was pretty sure Ellie wasn’t in the best state to be dancing at the moment. When he stopped walking, she kept on walking, causing her to stumble.

“I think I’m going to take this drink from you,” he said as he grabbed her glass and placed it on the nearest table. She didn’t even try to fight him, and she was wearing a worried expression on her face. Ellie grabbed his arm for dear life.

“I can’t believe I just did that!” she whispered in a shocked voice. “I work with that woman, and although she’s never the most pleasant person, I shouldn’t have done that. Now she’s going to tell everyone that I was drunk and repeat everything that I just said about us.”

“Relax,” Brian replied soothingly. “You can’t take it back now anyway. I think she is still pretty shocked that you even stood up to her.”

“Thanks for getting me out of there before I said anything worse,” Ellie said. “I think we should probably get out of here before I say something even worse in front of someone who is actually important. Oh, wait! There’s my boss right there! She’s walking over here, hurry up and pretend we’re dancing!”

Ellie quickly wrapped her arms around Brian, and once again, it was more like he was supporting her than actually dancing. She relaxed into his arms, and she was surprised how familiar and comfortable his embrace felt. She had missed it.

“Remember when we were at your prom?” Ellie asked. She was trying to hide her face into his chest so her boss wouldn’t notice her. “Your date hated me and Zacky left me half way through the night. I remember Matt thought it would be a good idea to wear a white tux, which it wasn’t. I spent most of the night trying to help him clean tomato sauce off of the jacket. I still can’t believe all of you even went.”

“I remember you had to force Zacky to wear a tie. I think you may have spent a good hour trying to force him to put it on. He kept saying it was in fashion not to wear one, and you told him he wouldn’t know what fashion was if it bit him.”

“Yeah I remember that,” she replied with a laugh. She looked up and got lost in his eyes once again. Before these past two weeks, Ellie had been able to control her feelings towards Brian, but not they just seemed to come flooding back again. When the music stopped, it brought her back to her senses. She looked around, searching for her boss.

“I wish we were still younger. Everything was so much less complicated back then,” Ellie said as she tried to put some distance between herself and Brian. “I think my boss is gone. We should probably get out of here while we have the chance.”

Brian took her hand and they walked as fast as possible to the nearest exit. Of course, they had to pick the door that led to the garden instead of the one that led to the parking lot. They tried walking a couple of different ways to find a way out of what seemed like a maze of flowers, but they were having no luck. If Ellie didn’t want to leave so bad, she wouldn’t have minded taking the chance to look around because everything seemed beautiful. They finally came upon a small fountain surrounded by benches. She quickly took a seat and she pulled Brian down next to her.

“You don’t mind if we sit for a minute, do you? I’m just starting to get a little dizzy,” she said as she put her head in her hands. “I don’t think anyone is going to find us out here, so we should be okay. I can’t believe I got drunk with everyone I work with surrounding me. That is not like me at all.”

“Ellie, can I ask you a question?” Brian asked. He continued after she made a noise, which he took to be a yes. She wasn’t looking at him, but he knew she was still listening. “You didn’t start drinking so much tonight because everyone was asking if I was your boyfriend, right?”

Ellie let out a little burst of nervous laughter before almost falling off of the edge of the bench. Brian caught her before she could hit the ground. He held her face in his hands, and waited until she opened her eyes so she could search them for an answer. When Ellie did open them, he noticed some of the pain had come back. He knew it was because of his question.

“Alright, maybe that contribute a little bit to my drinking binge, or maybe it was the whole reason, but does it really matter?” she asked. The alcohol was making her speak more freely, and it didn’t allow her brain to have a filter over her mouth. “It’s just that I’m so dizzy right now because I have the spins. Don’t you just hate it when you get the spins? And you have really nice eyes Brian, and I missed them while I was away.”

Her face grew somber after the last sentence slipped out of her mouth. He could tell she wanted to take those words back. They only further confirmed that he was the source of the pain she had been experiencing since she had come back from California. He suddenly wondered if she had been in a bad way in all her years of college. He didn’t know if he would be able to live with himself if he had made her that miserable for that long.

“I mean, I missed everyone’s eyes, like Zacky’s green ones, but not really Matt’s. We have the same kind of eyes since he’s my brother,” Ellie rambled on. She was trying to cover up what she had just said, and instead she just made herself seem like a babbling idiot.

“Come on, I think we should find a way home. You need to get some sleep,” Brian said with a laugh. He thought this unrestrained version of Ellie was so amusing. She always had her emotions guarded so closely, and he thought it was good she was starting to say some of the things she needed to. Even though it was under the influence of alcohol.

“I am a lot more drunk than I originally thought,” Ellie said as they walked back to the ball room. The easiest way to get out was to go back into the room and find the correct exit. “That is why everything I just said has to be counted as untrue.”

“Yes, you are. I think those martinis were a lot stronger than you originally thought. At least you got your money’s worth out of the open bar, though.”

“Yes I did!”

“Although, I am sorry to say you may have one nasty hangover in the morning,” he said with a laugh.

“I know, I realized that,” Ellie said. “That’s why I’m trying to stay as positive as possible right now. A headache on top of remembering all of the embarrassing things I said to everyone tonight is just going to make me feel wonderful tomorrow.”

“I thought you said anything you said was untrue,” he said, trying to make her feel better.

“Well, yeah, what I said to that bitch from work was a lie, but who am I kidding? Everything else was true, and don’t lie and tell me you didn’t think it wasn’t true.”

Brian couldn’t think of anything else to say back to her. He did know that she missed him. The truth was, he hadn’t realized it at first, but he had missed her for all of the years she was gone, too.