You're My Addiction

After his fight with Zacky, Brian went upstairs to his room so he could lick his wounds in private. He wasn’t expecting such an outburst from his best friend. Hearing from Zacky that what he did was terrible made him feel that much worse, and it made him realize he really did need to fix things with Ellie.

Since she had returned, they had been acting like nothing had ever gone wrong between them. They had gotten so good at it, aside from the few times their true feelings came shining through. It was time to stop pretending, though, because they couldn’t go on like this forever.

He never thought that what they had would become so out of control and that they would become so consumed with each other.

Their relationship was supposed to be fun and short, but it had ended up in a big, fiery disaster. Now, whenever Brian looked back on it, he couldn’t believe he had been so stupid. He should have known something like that never could have worked. When he looked back on it, he now realized Ellie wasn’t the type of girl you had a fling with. She was the kind of girl you spent the rest of your life with.

Since he was too busy being yelled at and hiding since he got home, Brian hadn’t realized he had gone so long without eating food. Now, hours later, his stomach was rumbling violently, and he had no other choice but to go downstairs and make it a late night sandwich. He knew everyone should have been either sleeping or in their rooms, so he was expecting to be greeted by an empty house as he made his way downstairs.

He was surprised when he reached the bottom of the stairs that the kitchen light was still on. He thought one of the guys might have left it on, but when he got closer he heard a pair of voices talking. One of those voices he could recognize anywhere.

He walked into the kitchen, and he imagined he felt a little bit like Ellie must have felt that one day when she walked into the room and found him on top of a half naked girl. His case was a little less extreme, though, but somehow he still felt a little bit hurt.

Ellie was leaning over the counter, eating chocolate ice cream directly out of the carton while she was chatting with the guy she must have gone out with earlier. Their heads were inclined towards each other, and they were talking in the low voices that lovers always tended to use with each other. The way he looked at her let Brian know that Ellie still had a piece of Chris’s heart.

At that moment he knew that they had once been involved in some of the time she had been away. The realization of this fact made Brian feel helpless and beyond terrible. It was not because they had maybe at one time been together, but it was because this guy was here right now, his face just inches away from Ellie’s.

He knew that Chris had arranged to go out with her to try and see if he could get back together with her, and it made Brian dislike him just a little bit. He was telling her something that was making her laugh, and it was the kind of laughter Brian hadn’t been able get out of her since everything between them when up in flames.

As Brian took in the scene for a second, he thought that Ellie looked, for lack of better words, sexy as hell. She was dressed in a bright red dress that came just above her knees, and it was tight enough that it showed her curves, yet still left something to the imagination. She had a red flower pinned right above her right ear, and was wearing red lipstick. It was obvious that red was her best color, and it made him think back to the night of her prom, when she was wearing a red dress as well.

The fact that she looked so damn good just made him even more jealous of this guy, and he wasn’t going to let him make a move on Ellie in his house. The best way he knew how to do this was to be a cock block. It was a low move, but he didn’t care anymore.

Ellie laughed again, but this time she looked up, and she saw Brian standing in the doorway. She froze for a second, and he could tell that she was debating whether or not to acknowledge his presence. She looked him straight in the eyes, though, and he could see all of the sadness come back into her face again. It broke his heart.

In the time they were staring at each other, Chris looked up to notice Brian as well, so Ellie no longer had the choice of whether she wanted them to meet or not. She knew Chris had noticed when Brian looked over at him.

She cleared her throat and then began to speak, “Brian, this is Chris.”

Ellie and Chris both walked over to him. She frantically tried to search for something to call Chris besides her ex-boyfriend. She didn’t exactly want either of the guys to know she had been in a relationship with both of them at some point. She especially didn’t want Chris to know because he would be able to piece everything together. He would know Brian was the reason she broke it off with him a year ago.

“Hey man, it’s nice to meet you,” Brian said as he shook Chris’s hand. Brian smirked as he looked at Ellie because he knew she was having trouble introducing them to each other. She wanted to smack the smirk off of his face.

“Chris is one of the other people I left behind in Pennsylvania,” Ellie said. “Brian is one of my brother’s friends.”

She looked at Brian again and she could tell he was trying not to laugh. He knew Ellie wasn’t going to give him any credit, either. After all, he thought, what would she have called him anyway? The guy I used to fuck, or the guy who once got me pregnant? He was thinking it wasn’t the best way to be introduced to someone.

“What did you come down here for anyway?” she asked, almost as if she was accusing him of coming here for the sole reason to make her feel awkward.

“I was just coming down to make myself a sandwich,” he said, still trying not to laugh. “I promise I’ll be out of your way in just a few moments.”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Ellie replied with a sigh. She realized she was being a little too harsh towards him, and she felt bad. She was just having difficulty dealing with fact that the only two men she ever had feelings for were in the same room and just feet from each other. “It’s getting late anyway, and we were just about to say goodbye. The kitchen is all yours.”

Brian watched as she disappeared with Chris around the corner, and then he let out a long sigh. He went over to do what he originally came down to the kitchen to do, but he stopped as he noticed Ellie’s container of ice cream sitting on the counter.

He put the lid back on top of it and smiled as he found a place for it back in the freezer.

Brian knew she hadn’t told Chris anything about him, which meant he still affected her enough to make her keep that part of her emotions so closed off to someone she obviously dated for a long amount of time.

He knew he still stood some sort of chance because the only times Ellie ever ate ice cream was when she was too overwhelmed, whether it be with stress or emotions.

Or if it was from her ex-boyfriend and the man she still cared about currently being located in the same zip code.

Ellie walked Chris outside, and they stopped in front of the front door to the house. She didn’t want him and Brian to be in the same room any longer because it was making her head feel like it wanted to explode. She hoped placing a door in between them would help ease that feeling a little bit.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Chris apologized.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Ellie said with a smile. “I had a really good time, so it doesn’t matter how late you stuck around. If you were a lousy date, however, I think my opinion would change a little bit.”

They both laughed together, and Ellie was reminded, like she was so many times that night, of how sweet Chris had always been to her. Did she ever mention he had the kind of looks that made girls want to melt?

She wasn’t lying when she said she had a really good time, because she had. She remembered why she used to think Chris was the one who could help her get over Brian. The whole setting that night, with the dancing, low lighting, and tequila, had made Ellie wish her heart wanted to go with the safer choice. Her mind wanted to choose Chris, but her heart still wanted Brian after all these years. Unfortunately, when it came to love, Ellie’s heart always had the stronger, more assertive voice.

She saw the look in his crystal blue eyes, the eyes girls had always swooned over, and she knew what was about to come wasn’t going to be good.

“I had a really good time, too, Ellie,” Chris said softly. He looked down at his feet and took Ellie’s hands in his own before speaking again. “Ever since you left, I’ve missed you so much. I would be lying if I said the first thought I had when they told me I would be coming out here for business wasn’t how glad I was at getting a chance to see you again.”

“Chris,” Ellie pleaded with a warning tone. She didn’t want him to go down this road because that meant she was going to have to choose between trying to get over Brian and breaking Chris’s heart again.

“Just hear me out for a minute, Ellie,” Chris said as he took a step closer to her. “When I heard you left to move all the way across the country, I was so mad at myself because I wasn’t able to get to you in time. All this time apart from you has made me realize how much I still want to be with you, and I would be stupid not to try and see if we can make this work one more time. I still love you, Ellie, and as time goes on I keep thinking more and more that you’re the one girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Chris please don’t-“

“I wanted to see if you would consider coming back to Pennsylvania,” he said, cutting her off. “I know you came back her to be close to your family again, but hopefully you would consider giving us just one more chance.”

Ellie was completely and utterly speechless at what Chris had just asked of her. She didn’t know what she could possibly say to that, or if she even had the ability to speak anymore. He was asking so much of her, and she didn’t even know how to start thinking about coming to a decision.

“I know it’s a lot, but I’m not expecting an answer right now,” he said. “You can take as much time as you need to think about it.”

“Chris, I don’t even know how to start thinking about this,” Ellie said, stumbling over her words. “Asking me to try out our relationship again and asking me to move all the way across the country to be with you is two very different things. I just got this job, I’m still trying to get everything-“

In the blink of an eye, Chris dropped Ellie’s hands and brought his hands up to her face. He captured her lips in a kiss, and, still shocked from everything that just happened, Ellie kissed him back because she didn’t know what else to do.

Chris always was an excellent kisser, and he knew that was always the best way to stop Ellie when she had started to talk too much. He had used that move on her plenty of times when they were still together.

He broke away and left their foreheads still touching. Ellie kept her eyes closed because she wished she could just rewind time to five minutes ago.

“Just think about it, Ellie, that’s all I’m asking,” Chris said. “You have all the time in the world, and I’ll be waiting for your answer when you’re ready to give it to me.”

And with those final words, Chris walked off of the front porch and left Ellie standing there, all by herself. She watched his retreating back, and all the colors in front of her began to swirl into one as her eyes started to well up with tears.

She had already made the choice between listening to her heart and her mind, and she couldn’t believe she was going to have to decide again. Was she supposed to go with Brian, who she had been in love with since she was sixteen, or was she supposed to go with Chris, who had always been what every little girl would have considered their dream boyfriend.

She was going to consider Chris’s offer, of course. He had put himself out on the line for her, and it wouldn’t be fair not to think about everything he had said. She wondered if spending these past few months with Brian had helped her get over those feelings at all. She wondered if coming back was the one thing she needed in order to get over him forever. Maybe, if she chose to go back to Pennsylvania, she would, in time, be able to love Chris instead of Brian. Maybe she was meant to be with Chris instead of Brian.

She sat down on the porch, the sounds of the night at two a.m. the only thing keeping her company. A single tear slid down her cheek as she knew she was going to have to choose which path her future took. As she always said, you have to make the choices that will choose where your future goes; you can’t just sit there and go along for the ride, waiting to see what may or may not happen.

She had time to think about it, though. She knew it would always be in her mind until she made her choice. And, until that time, she planned to think everything through as thoroughly as she could.

However, she did know one thing: her life always seemed to go from normal to shit show in less than the blink of an eye.