On My Way

I wasn't avare of the time I spent, just talking to Aaron. All those things we had to talk about, I suddenly had realized how much I missed him. We were sitting on the balcony, talking, sipping our lemonades. ' So how long are you staying? ' asked Aaron, and checked his Blackberry. I sighed and frowned, ' Uhmm.. I don't know Aaron, I can't stay long... I'm with Hayden you know.. I would love to stay, but I also should go back home to my parents! ' i mumbled. Aaron frowned and bit his lip and said , ' So that's It? You're going home just today! But you came all this way!'. I sighed and shrugged. ' I know, I just can't, maybe you'll come to visit me sometime!' i said hopefully. He looked very disappointed. I knew he was right, all this way..

Then suddenly I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Who could It be? I reached for my phone, It was Hayden. I checked the time on my phone, not so late yet? 'One second..' i murmured to Aaron and answered the phone ;

- Yes? Hello?

- Miss. Alexa? Are you familiar with the name Hayden Rower ?

-Uh, yeah I am but who am I talking to exactly?

- We're calling from the Sacred Angels Hospital, can you please come here?

-Wha-whats going on?

- Please come to the hospital Miss.

The man hung up. I couldn't move for a minute, I wasn't avare of what I just heard. Hospital? It suddenly felt so hard to breathe. ' Aaron-canyou.. Can you take me-me- to the Sacred Angels Hospital.. uh. please?' , my voice was sounded so fragile.
Aaron didn't answer ; ' Aaron now!' i shouted at him , with a sudden anger. 'What's going on Alexa?' he asked confused.

' Aaron, I have to go to the hospital now! NOW!' i shouted again, my hands were trembling. I was afraid, bad thoughts passed my mind. Anything could've happened...

Aaron grabbed my arm and we stood up , 'Alexa, your face Is pale!' he said. I felt like I was going to vomit , I had to go back to Hayden. Something bad was happening, really bad.

I never should have left him.

'Aaron, hospital, now.' i gasped.

***

Before I knew It , we had arrived at the hospital. I was shivering, Aaron was holding my hand and asking me questions. I didn't knew the answer to any of them.
We entered the hospital's emergency room and I walked towards the reception. ' Hayden Rower? Where Is he? ‘ i asked in a whisper-like voice. My heart was pounding so fast, It creeped me out and my body was numb. The girl at the reception pointed a room close by and said ; ‘The doctors just took him there, Miss.’. I tried to swallow and with the help of Aaron I walked towards the room she pointed. I could see the operation room through a glass window.

There he was. Hayden. My Hayden. Lying there, attached to machines and cables. Doctors around him, trying to save him. What had happened to him? His face was almost grey and his eyes were closed. Like he was sleeping but.. no… not sleeping. I chased away the idea and tried to calm myself down. There was a nurse outside the room , I stumbled towards her and grabbed her shoulder, ‘Sorry, what happened to him? I’m his girlfriend, Alexa, can you tell me? Please..’ i asked. The nurse turned to look at me and answered in a soft voice ; ‘ He was sitting at a cafe and the waitress saw him coughing hysterically after smoking a few cigarettes. He got worse and collapsed, the waitress called the hospital. It looks like he has been smoking for quite a long time, because his lungs are horrible! It has been effecting his whole body and heart for a long time!’.

It sounded like the nurse was talking about a person I didn’t know. But she was talking about Hayden. My Hayden. Sick, fragile, almost… I should've seen this coming. I knew he was smoking but... how could it come to this?

‘No!’ i whispered and suddenly It was all dark.

‘Alexa, you have to wake up! Alexa! Wake up! Hayden Isn’t okay! ‘
‘I don’t think she is going to wake up yet. She looked horrible!’

I gasped and woke up, shivering, all wet with tears and sweat. Hayden! Where was he? Wasn’t he okay? Wha-
I was lying on a small couch, still in the hospital, I got up trying to be brave. It wasn’t really working.
His room was close, I leaned over to the glass and tried to understand what was going on inside there. Tears covered my view and I sobbed, I knew that things were worse than they seemed. A doctor came out of the operation room and put his hand on my shoulder. ‘He wants to see you, dear. Alexa…’ the doctor whispered. I turned to look at him and his face was hopeless, sad. I tried to take a deep breathe and walked in the room.

I stumbled and sat on the floor next to his bed. Hayden stared at me with his beautiful eyes, his eyes were still beautiful. His breathing was fast and wheezy. ‘Alexa…Hi..’ he whispered.
I tried to talk but I felt like drawning, my throat was all dry. ‘Hayden, why didn't you tell me you were sick? THIS SICK! You knew it, and you kept smoking..’ i said, my voice trembling. Hayden closed his eyes and swallowed hardly.
I regreted shouting at him and whispered this time slowly ; "Everything will be alright.. I promise."
Hayden smiled, or at least he tried to.

I bursted into tears and sobbed, ‘I can’t believe this is happening.. But it will be alright, I promise. Okay, we will leave this hospital as soon as you get better, we will travel around the world! Live the way we want to live! We'll have adventures!' Together and everything will be alright.’ .

Hayden’s hand moved and I held It. ‘Bye, beautiful’ he whispered.

I leaned forward and kissed him slowly, ‘No, Hayden, you’ll be fine!.’ I said, knowing It was a lie. His breathing slowed down and he coughed. ‘This Is it Alexa.You'll live those adventures, just not with me.. I wish we had more time.. I’m not strong enough this time, I’m sorry.’ He breathed.

Tears were all over my face and neck, I wasn’t going to let go. I just couldn’t.
‘Hayden, don’t say so, please, stop talking.’ I cried. Hayden tried to smile again and whispered, ‘I will be fine, Alexa. I love you."

And so he was gone. He didnt even close his eyes, but I knew It, the light was gone, the warmth was gone. His breath was gone. Still, his life, his touch, his kisses and words felt not far than a moment away..
‘Hayden, no, don’t go. I love you, don’t go. Please.’ I said, like It was going to change the fact that he was dead. Dead.

He was gone. It sounded so simple. So simple, quick. Why him? Why now?
It was like a nightmare, I wasn’t able to move or say anything. ‘I’m so sorry, Hayden… I love you so much, please..’ i breathed. Hayden was gone. Gone, and we didn't even have time to live all those adventures together, the ones he had promised me. The time we had spent was not enough. And now.. it was all like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

This was wrong, this was not how It was supposed to end. There were doctors inside the room I hadn’t recognized before, they were all crying. Was this too much drama? These doctors probably saw sad ending scenes like this for a million times. Hayden was just a young man, dead now. I was his girlfriend.

I needed him so much, I wanted him, he was the only man I have ever really felt for. He was special and he deserved better. I needed him, he was all I had. He had left me. Hayden was gone for ever, ever. ‘No..’ i whispered and kissed him softly, he was so … motionless.
‘Bye, angel.’ I whispered and blacked out again before I knew It. Bye.