I Was Never Touched, Until I Met You...

As I opened my eyes, I saw Katherine looking down at me from her curtain of long black hair. I felt softness and firmness underneath my head and guessed I was using her legs as a pillow. She smiled at me, but it was a nervous worried smile.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” she had her hand open and all her finger were up, and wiggling.

“Four fingers’ and one thumb.” I got a more normal smile out of her but there was still a bit of doubt that I was ok. I must have hit my head hard for her to worry like that.

“Ok, now tell me who you are and where you are.”

“I'm Julian Cowart, and I'm lying down on my best friend in my new room.” I explained as I began to lift myself from her legs. As I propped myself up on my new bed I spotted him sitting in a chair looking at Kat and I. his face was emotionless, blank and cold looking. All he did was look. I studied him for a moment. As I guessed, he was studying me.

His hair was dirty blond and a curly styled mess that fell just about two inches from his scalp. He had broad wide shoulders the stretched the body armor that he was wearing. The thin material stretched over his entire torso and out lined the muscles that protruded just enough to be seen. He wasn’t overly muscled just enough that you know that he has. His hands, large and wide, clasped in front of his sensual mouth that always secretly whispered naughty things to anyone who set their eyes on them, even though they would rarely move. He was a quiet man and if fit him in a way. His legs where long, slender, and graceful. He was like a cheetah, beautiful, graceful, lovely to watch, mysterious, and just as dangerous as he is beautiful.

We looked at, and studied each other for what seemed like house but was probably only a couple of seconds.

“Ok so I guess you remember Mathew, Julian. He remembers you, and so he asked that since we had an extra bedroom if it was all right for you to occupy it for 1/3 the rent and utilities we got everything covered for you so you don’t have to worry.”

I stared into his silver eyes and saw many emotions reflecting in the depts. of them. It looked like he wanted me to see them all. His eyes begged, no pleaded for me to understand him. In his eyes were guilt, regret, self loathing, sorrow, empathy and sympathy, and mixed in among all those emotions was a passion, a love and I could feel his eyes trying to push all those emotions into me.

“Hey, Kat, can I and Mathew have a moment alone please? I haven’t seen him for so long and I want to catch-up and reconnect with him.” I smiled at Katherine and waved Mathew over to sit next to me. She looked from him to me, back to me again, and smiled.

“Ok I’ll let you two kids talk in private. I’ll be back in about two hours someone has requested that I speak with another patient with multiple personality disorder and is blaming the ‘disease’ for the murder of his wife.” Her smile had dropped and she walked out of the room. Mathew immediately ran his hands through is styled curly hair and sighed.

“Julian, about what I did to you that night, I'm so sorry. I don’t know what happened to me. I mean I loved you and I was attracted to you but I was going to wait until you were old enough, to understand what was happening so that you could voice your actual opinion instead of just trying to make me happy. Julian, I'm so sorry for hurting you and I won’t blame you if you hated me for the rest of your life but please…” his voice was cut off by a sob. I didn’t realize he was crying until I say his body trembling. This man had raped me when I was young but I felt… sorry for him.

“I… I forgive you…” my voice was so quite that I was almost positive that he didn’t hear me. He looked at me with those sad silver eyes tears were dripping down his chiseled jaw and high cheek bones. I wanted to for some reason, make him feel better. Sure, what he had done things that will never be able to be erased from my mind but it’s not as if he just threw me down and forced himself into me. I look at it this way he’s sick for fucking an eleven year old when he was 27 but I don’t know, I think he did beat himself up for it enough for it the past couple of years. I don’t know what was wrong with me but I felt sorry that he was suffering for all that time.

Maybe I am crazy.

I slowly turned to him, wrapped my arms around his head, and brought it to my chest. He seemed surprised and his body stiffened. I only hugger him tighter to my body. He soon relaxed and began to wrap his hands around my waist. The sobs that he continued to weep soaked through my shirt. As soon as I felt a small tear of sympathy fall down my face, I began to remember that night.

The night that he, I don’t know what to call it. A fuck, sex, used my body to comfort his, or made love. I don’t know which one would fit exactly what we did.

~flash back~

As I lay in my single bed in my personal room, I heard what sounded like footsteps. The only one that comes to check on us this late at night is Mr. Mathew. Soon the footsteps stopped and I heard what sounded like whispers in the hall.

I stood out of my bed and opened the door just sticking my head out enough so I can see the hall. All the way at the end sitting against a wall, I saw Mathew. He had his head in his hands and saw his body shacking just a bit. Deciding that I needed to go find out what was happening, I walked down the hall towards him. As I got closer, I could hear his nearly silent sobs. I sat in front of him on the floor and placed my hand on his thigh. He looked down at me. His eyes were red and puffy. His normally brilliant silver looked more like a lackluster grey. Even in the dim lit hallway, I could see the tears pooling in his eyes. I stood and held out my little weak hand to his big strong ones. He grabbed my hand as I led him into my room. I pulled him to my bed and instructed him to lie down in my lap. He did as I had told him and began to let his tears flow once more. I began to whisper in his ear and stroke his hair the way I remember my mother doing to me whenever I would cry.

“Everything will work out I promise.”, “Calm down.”, “It’s ok let it all out.”, “Come on show me the smile you keep hidden beneath your tears.”, “Even the strongest man must cry sometimes.”, “I love you and don’t forget it.”, “God works in mysterious ways.”, “Bad things happen to good people so they can become great people.” I whispered these things many times, and held him as hard as I could. Soon his sobs turned into silent tears. He looked at me and I felt the need to kiss him. I leaned my head down touched my lips to his for just a brief moment. I lifted my head just above him and touched my fingers to my lips.

Something about his lips felt different too me, so I did what any child my age would have done when face with something odd. I put my lips to his again this time I left them on a little longer this time. Mr. Mathew stopped his tears, was now holding the back of my head to keep me from moving away, and deepened the kiss. Something inside of me felt weird, my body was hot all over. I didn’t know what this was but my pants were feeling a bit uncomfortable. I turned my body so that I was straddling him, and he moved one of his hands to my bottom and grabbed it firmly. He then began to move his body in an up and down motion. The friction that I was feeling made me feel even hotter; soon I began to move on my own.

His hand traveled down into my underwear. He broke the kiss for a moment and looked into my eyes. I felt his finger probing my bottom hole. Slowly his finger began to slide inside of me. He had only his finger tip in. he slowly began to pump more and more of his finger into me. It hurt a little and soon the hurt turned into something that felt really good. After a long time he was pumping me with three fingers all the way to the knuckle and kissing me I felt something building at the pit of my stomach. Mr. Mathew stopped moving his fingers and pulled them out of me. Without his fingers in me, I felt almost empty. I whimpered into our kiss. He broke the kiss and put me to sit on him while I was straddling him. He unzipped his pants and pulled his penis out. It was a lot bigger than mine was but I wasn’t afraid of it for some reason.

“Make it nice and slippery with your mouth for me please.” I leaned down and did what he said I put, as much of him would fit into my mouth. When he was satisfied, he pulled my head up and kissed me again.

He slipped my pants off as his tongue began to massage my own. He slid his hand between us and guided his penis toward my bottom hole. He slowly pushed to tip inside of me.

After hours of experimenting and teaching learning and what I now knew was called sex, we separated, him looking guilty and me feeling used sore and like total and utter crap.

~end flashback~

When I came back to my senses, I felt a weight on my chest. I looked down to find Mathew sleeping on my chest as we lay down covered in my bed.

I was right I am a sick demented lunatic, because the memory just gave me a wet dream.