Silverbell
Sleepless
That night sleep cleverly eluded Remus as he lie in his neat little bed, surrounded by his standard neat little bureau, with it's neat littler mirror, and neat little trunk beside it. Staring at the ceiling he vied for his room to reflect the chaos he felt inside for the first time in his life. The ceiling was a blank panel of darkness that seemed somehow to be closing in around him. He listened to the beat of his own heart, it was not the calm steady beat it should have been, it was fast and angered. His life seemed a maddening whirl about him; slowly he began to pull thoughts out of the storm to digest them one at a time. He chose to deal with the easiest first, tomorrow he was going to wake up and begin teaching. He took in a deep breath and held for several moments, before letting it out slowly.
In his mind he was going to face each one of these problems and then they wouldn't bother him in the morning, he knew he was likely deluding himself, but the pretense of control was as much comfort as he could afford. "I'm going to go into class tomorrow, I'm going to teach my students, learn their names and they're going to like me and retain what I've taught them." He said in a calm even tone as he stared at the black. After a few more breaths he repeated it, and again, like a mantra until he felt the doubt all but washed away. He closed his eyes and plucked out another problem, "Snivellous will keep his mouth shut, and blow up in a Potions accident." He said to his fear of being exposed and contempt for the greasy haired man, this he said with much more venom and contempt.
He said, he hadn't realized how much he truly hated Snape and feared the fact that he was a werewolf becoming common knowledge until now. Remus draped a weary arm over his eyes as his thoughts drifted to Bell. Anger boiled up anew. Tomorrow he was going to pull her aside and have a serious conversation with her, now however, he thought that the boy could have been pulling a prank on her. Poor Bell was deathly afraid of spiders and if he'd had one under the table that would clearly explain everything, even Jess, she always was protective over Bell. The same day his niece had told him that Jess had a crush on him she also mentioned that Jess fancied her as well. Remus sighed into the darkness of the room, never had he been that bold, several girls knew about Jess. Remus rolled over onto his stomach, telling himself that, that was the reason.
Lastly all that seemed left to sort through was Sirius. Remus had get his hands on a copy of the Daily Profit as soon as possible, but from what he could gather, and everyone else seemed to know, was that Sirius Black had indeed been the first person in history to escape Azkaban prison. Remus felt sick and curled on his side, and covered his head with a pillow as the first of what would be many tears fell from his eyes.
In his mind he was going to face each one of these problems and then they wouldn't bother him in the morning, he knew he was likely deluding himself, but the pretense of control was as much comfort as he could afford. "I'm going to go into class tomorrow, I'm going to teach my students, learn their names and they're going to like me and retain what I've taught them." He said in a calm even tone as he stared at the black. After a few more breaths he repeated it, and again, like a mantra until he felt the doubt all but washed away. He closed his eyes and plucked out another problem, "Snivellous will keep his mouth shut, and blow up in a Potions accident." He said to his fear of being exposed and contempt for the greasy haired man, this he said with much more venom and contempt.
He said, he hadn't realized how much he truly hated Snape and feared the fact that he was a werewolf becoming common knowledge until now. Remus draped a weary arm over his eyes as his thoughts drifted to Bell. Anger boiled up anew. Tomorrow he was going to pull her aside and have a serious conversation with her, now however, he thought that the boy could have been pulling a prank on her. Poor Bell was deathly afraid of spiders and if he'd had one under the table that would clearly explain everything, even Jess, she always was protective over Bell. The same day his niece had told him that Jess had a crush on him she also mentioned that Jess fancied her as well. Remus sighed into the darkness of the room, never had he been that bold, several girls knew about Jess. Remus rolled over onto his stomach, telling himself that, that was the reason.
Lastly all that seemed left to sort through was Sirius. Remus had get his hands on a copy of the Daily Profit as soon as possible, but from what he could gather, and everyone else seemed to know, was that Sirius Black had indeed been the first person in history to escape Azkaban prison. Remus felt sick and curled on his side, and covered his head with a pillow as the first of what would be many tears fell from his eyes.