Silverbell
Remembering
Christmas, it would be dreadful, Remus knew it. Little Bell had been living with him for several months now, having been granted custody. Her family members on her father’s side being mad and her mother unobtainable and besides putting away a notorious killer had given him a good name. Sirius a killer, Remus vigorously shook any thought of him free from his mind. Pulling his memory back to the present he rearranged the presents under the tree and took a step back. No, it still wasn’t right. Maybe if he turned the little square one a little more to the left, then the long one, the toy broomstick to the right…
Dam it! How dare he let his obsessive compulsive disorder get the best of him! Stress made it worse, stress always made it worse. Back at Hogwarts when he was younger the thought of being discovered was always there his two largest secrets and every pair of eyes judging him, and then there was the constant thought of loosing control. What if he had killed someone? At Hogwarts everything was neat everything was tidy. Then one day when he went up to the dorm to study and his bed was a mess everything on his desk jumbled ink everywhere! In a fit he began to scrub.
“Hey!” Came a voice from above him as he knelt on the ground with a brush vigorously working. Nothing, he had to clean! A foot slammed down into the puddle of ink. “Stop!” The voice commanded. Looking up Remus saw a tall, slender dark haired boy standing over him, the one who had defied cleanliness. “No!” Remus said in a choked voice tears pricking his eyes.
Quickly moving to his bed Remus re-tucked re-smoothed and re-straitened his bottom sheet, then the top, next the blanket, was pulled out of his hands! Grabbing it away from the other boy the now crying Remus tried again, it had to be perfect, everything had to be perfect, he was so imperfect maybe if everything around him was perfect no one would notice! “Enough!” The other boy shouted ripping off both sheets and the blanket.
“No!” Remus screamed as they in avertedly landed in the puddle of ink. “I hate you!” He yelled grabbing hold of the dark haired boy by the front of his shirt. Slamming him into the desk Remus felt his blood burning as if her were about to change! The other smiled his body, notably his spine, contorted over the desk his feet barley on the ground his head and shoulders pressing hard against the wall. “You’re to uptight!” He grinned broadly. “You need to loosen up!” He said grabbing Remus’ tie and began removing it.
“Stop!” Remus shouted as his tie came off into this absolutely infuriating boy’s had. “Better?” He asked cheekily waving around the red and gold stripped silk trophy. Remus’ eyes went wide, “My desk, my bed, my ink,” He shouted. “You did that?” Dark hair nodded uncomfortably. “Why?” He shrugged, “You need to loosen up a bit, you’d be more fun for sure!” He flashed his pearly whites.
Releasing the other boy Remus stepped back and took a shaky breath. Slowly and somewhat painfully the tie thief melted off the desk and onto his feet. “Here,” He said offering Remus a handkerchief. Remus took it. “So,” Said the other boy clapping his hands together. “Need help cleaning up?”
Remus shook as he sobbed, smiling at the fond and now painful memory. Sirius had been such an ass! Sighing he stood willing himself to stop blubbering like a baby. Wiping his face he stood, he had never been so stressed in his entire life. Not only was he haunted by the memory of Sirius, he was the caregiver of a young child who had recently lost her father and now took it out on the poor house in the form a tornado like havoc, and now retaining control of his emotions and monthly problem were more important then ever. What if he killed little Bell?
A letter in a wrinkled cream colored envelope came through the slot in the door and fluttered to the ground. Picking it up Remus froze. “Jelly Belly” it said on the front, in a tormented Sirius’ penmen ship. There was a creak at the top of the stairs, quickly Remus pocketed the letter. “Bell, Happy Christmas!” Remus managed. “Happy Christmas.” She replied with a smile her voice sounded pained yet hopeful. “I was just going to get you, I went to get a glass of water and saw the gifts.” He explained.
Her eyes alight Bell ran down the stairs. Looking quickly from gift to gift Bell didn’t make a move for any of them. Suddenly dashing around the tree she began to fret. “Bell, Silver Bell, what’s the matter?” Remus asked as he walked to the girl who had crumpled into heap in front of the tree. “I hate Father Christmas, I hate him!” She wailed. “Bell, why?” “I asked him to bring me Daddy!”
Dam it! How dare he let his obsessive compulsive disorder get the best of him! Stress made it worse, stress always made it worse. Back at Hogwarts when he was younger the thought of being discovered was always there his two largest secrets and every pair of eyes judging him, and then there was the constant thought of loosing control. What if he had killed someone? At Hogwarts everything was neat everything was tidy. Then one day when he went up to the dorm to study and his bed was a mess everything on his desk jumbled ink everywhere! In a fit he began to scrub.
“Hey!” Came a voice from above him as he knelt on the ground with a brush vigorously working. Nothing, he had to clean! A foot slammed down into the puddle of ink. “Stop!” The voice commanded. Looking up Remus saw a tall, slender dark haired boy standing over him, the one who had defied cleanliness. “No!” Remus said in a choked voice tears pricking his eyes.
Quickly moving to his bed Remus re-tucked re-smoothed and re-straitened his bottom sheet, then the top, next the blanket, was pulled out of his hands! Grabbing it away from the other boy the now crying Remus tried again, it had to be perfect, everything had to be perfect, he was so imperfect maybe if everything around him was perfect no one would notice! “Enough!” The other boy shouted ripping off both sheets and the blanket.
“No!” Remus screamed as they in avertedly landed in the puddle of ink. “I hate you!” He yelled grabbing hold of the dark haired boy by the front of his shirt. Slamming him into the desk Remus felt his blood burning as if her were about to change! The other smiled his body, notably his spine, contorted over the desk his feet barley on the ground his head and shoulders pressing hard against the wall. “You’re to uptight!” He grinned broadly. “You need to loosen up!” He said grabbing Remus’ tie and began removing it.
“Stop!” Remus shouted as his tie came off into this absolutely infuriating boy’s had. “Better?” He asked cheekily waving around the red and gold stripped silk trophy. Remus’ eyes went wide, “My desk, my bed, my ink,” He shouted. “You did that?” Dark hair nodded uncomfortably. “Why?” He shrugged, “You need to loosen up a bit, you’d be more fun for sure!” He flashed his pearly whites.
Releasing the other boy Remus stepped back and took a shaky breath. Slowly and somewhat painfully the tie thief melted off the desk and onto his feet. “Here,” He said offering Remus a handkerchief. Remus took it. “So,” Said the other boy clapping his hands together. “Need help cleaning up?”
Remus shook as he sobbed, smiling at the fond and now painful memory. Sirius had been such an ass! Sighing he stood willing himself to stop blubbering like a baby. Wiping his face he stood, he had never been so stressed in his entire life. Not only was he haunted by the memory of Sirius, he was the caregiver of a young child who had recently lost her father and now took it out on the poor house in the form a tornado like havoc, and now retaining control of his emotions and monthly problem were more important then ever. What if he killed little Bell?
A letter in a wrinkled cream colored envelope came through the slot in the door and fluttered to the ground. Picking it up Remus froze. “Jelly Belly” it said on the front, in a tormented Sirius’ penmen ship. There was a creak at the top of the stairs, quickly Remus pocketed the letter. “Bell, Happy Christmas!” Remus managed. “Happy Christmas.” She replied with a smile her voice sounded pained yet hopeful. “I was just going to get you, I went to get a glass of water and saw the gifts.” He explained.
Her eyes alight Bell ran down the stairs. Looking quickly from gift to gift Bell didn’t make a move for any of them. Suddenly dashing around the tree she began to fret. “Bell, Silver Bell, what’s the matter?” Remus asked as he walked to the girl who had crumpled into heap in front of the tree. “I hate Father Christmas, I hate him!” She wailed. “Bell, why?” “I asked him to bring me Daddy!”