Get Out of This town

Have you ever liked someone you weren't supposed to like? Or been attracted to someone of the same sex? I try my hardest everyday not to. But I keep finding myself staring at guys that I don't even know! I don't wanna be gay, I mean I like girls.I think. I've had a ton of girlfriends in the past, but all my past relationships came to quick ends. Maybe I just haven't found the right girl yet. I hope that's it at least.

I've been having some serious doubts about my sexuality. I mean, what if I am gay? How will I tell my parents or my friends? What if they all start treating me differently? I know my parents will be full on against it. They're like dedicated Christians and do not believe in homosexuality. To them me coming out would be hell breaking loose. And I'm not so sure about my friends.

I don't really know anyone in my school who is gay. No one has ever claimed to be, and I've never seen any two guys close together. I don't wanna be the first then have everyone turn homophobic on me and shun me, or ignore me completely and make it as though I never existed.

It's hard trying to hide my true self from my friends and family. I really wanna just tackle this thing full on, and find out if I really am gay or straight. I wouldn't know, basically because I've never been with a guy before. But who am I supposed to experiment with? Like I said before, I don't know any one else who might be homosexual.

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I gathered my belongings from my locker and glanced up and down the hallway for one of my friends Pete. I didn't see him anywhere. I closed the door to my locker then headed for my homeroom class. I sat down in my regular seat and stared out the window next to me.

I get nervous sometimes. I'm always wondering if any of my friends suspect that I might be gay. I wonder if they'll accept me or not. They are my friends. It really shouldn't matter what I am should it? I sighed shaking my head. Thinking of all this makes me frustrated.

The teacher Mr. Robinson took attendance then let the class do as they pleased for the remainder of homeroom. The noise level increased in I sunk in my chair playing with my pencil. I glanced around the room landing on one group of people to the next.

My eyes stopped jumping and landed on a particular person. I stared at Tyler West for a long moment, my eyes scanning him from head to toe. He's got a slim figure, and he's taller than I am. He's paler too. He died his hair black and wears brown contacts. I don't know why though, his natural eye color is a really light blue. Almost like glistening crystals. Why hide them? They look stunning.

I shook my head dazed. I can not believe I was just checking him out. So far I've checked out almost every other guy in this school but him. God knows why, he's one gorgeous looking creature. I shook the thought from my head now disgusted with myself. I can't even convince myself that I'm not gay. How I am able to convince other people, I have not the slightest clue.

The first period bell rang and I quickly gathered my things and headed for the door. I stopped just entering the hallway. Crap. I forgot my science notebook. I spun around then clashed into Tyler. My books fell out of my hands along with his. I sighed feeling clumsy then bent down to get my books. Tyler bent down to get his too then handed me my physics text book.

"Here." He said holding it out for me. I half smiled reaching out for it.

"Thanks." When our eyes met I felt my heart skip a beat. He has such a beautiful face. I didn't realize that I was staring, but Tyler was staring too. He smiled at me rising to his feet, and I slowly did the same.

"I'll see you later." He said. I blushed nodding quickly.

"Umm OK." Tyler grinned then walked past me merging into the traffic of the hallway. Well, that was...awkward.