Get Out of This town
But this is who I am
Deciding to take the long way home was probably one of the best ideas I've had all night. It really gave me the chance to think. Although, there shouldn't be much to think about. I'm gay. There's not much to it.
We all wanna live up to our parents expectations. At least, where I come from, we do. We wanna please our parents, and do everything they expect of us. Whether it's to wash the dishes, or go to college, or take over the family business. All we wanna do is please our parents the best that we can.
But what if there is no way to please them? There's something wrong with you. Something that's keeping you from fulfilling their wishes. Then what? Do you go about your schedule and do as you please? What other choice is there? With my parents, it's their way or the high way. I come from a very strict family. Do as your parents say, or your out.
On the other hand, my parents are able to put up with more then the rest of my family. I get more freedom then my cousins do. I get to stay out for much longer, go to more places. Just more freedom in general. I've never taken advantage of my parents, and I never plan to. They do a lot for me.
So, how do I go home and tell them that I'm gay? And that there's not a damn thing they could do about it? I hate to disappoint them. My goal of life as is, is to be the best son I could be. But how can I do that if my parents won't except who I am?
I walked onto my porch and starred at my front door. What will I say? What will there reactions be? What if I can't do it? What if I break? Before my hand touched the door knob, it twisted.
"Austin!" My mother greeted me smiling. I nodded and she stepped aside letting me in. I walked past her and looked in to the living room and saw my dad putting on his jacket.
"Oh! Hey Austin. I was just on my way to pick you up." I nodded pulling off my hood and brushed the hair out of my face.
"Yeah yeah. Mom dad please sit down. I need to talk to you guys." They exchanged glances before sitting down on the long sofa facing the TV. I stepped in front of them and opened my mouth to speak then shook my head and began pacing. I'd better tell them what's up before they assume somethings wrong.
"OK. You guys listen. It's never in my intention to disappoint you guys. Or bring shame to the family. But I can't help who I am. This is who I am. Mom dad, I'm gay. And there isn't a damn thing you could do about it." My father furrowed his eye brows and was about to stand but I held out my hand pleading.
"No Dad please. I've tried not to be gay. And nothing works. Today at the party I took your guys thoughts under consideration. That maybe I haven't found the right girl? But the truth is. There is no right girl out there for me. I've known I was gay from the instant I kissed Mandy. You remember her? My first girlfriend. Well, when I kissed her, something inside me didn't feel right. And then and there I knew I was different. Not that something was wrong with me, but that I was different." My parents both starred at me with blank expressions. And I continued on.
"I know that you guys don't approve of my sexuality. But again, this is who I am and-"
"Since this is 'Who you are,'" My dad said raising his hands and putting air quotes around who I am. "You can be who you are some place else." I shook my head. How can he be this way? For all the years that I've been alive, since the instant I took my first steps I've done as my parents pleased. Went to school, did my chores, ate my broccoli. And they're telling me that they can't except my sexuality? Who I am? Fine. Let things be this way.
"I will." I said standing my ground. My moms mouth dropped and she starred at me wide eyed. I shook my head at her feeling no support and walked past them upstairs to my room.
"You come back down here! We are not done discussing this!" I shook my head chuckling to myself and turned at the top of the stairs. I've reached the boiling point. If they can't accept me, then I"m out of here.
"I'm done!" I shouted from the top of the stairs. Then went to my room and collected my things.
We all wanna live up to our parents expectations. At least, where I come from, we do. We wanna please our parents, and do everything they expect of us. Whether it's to wash the dishes, or go to college, or take over the family business. All we wanna do is please our parents the best that we can.
But what if there is no way to please them? There's something wrong with you. Something that's keeping you from fulfilling their wishes. Then what? Do you go about your schedule and do as you please? What other choice is there? With my parents, it's their way or the high way. I come from a very strict family. Do as your parents say, or your out.
On the other hand, my parents are able to put up with more then the rest of my family. I get more freedom then my cousins do. I get to stay out for much longer, go to more places. Just more freedom in general. I've never taken advantage of my parents, and I never plan to. They do a lot for me.
So, how do I go home and tell them that I'm gay? And that there's not a damn thing they could do about it? I hate to disappoint them. My goal of life as is, is to be the best son I could be. But how can I do that if my parents won't except who I am?
I walked onto my porch and starred at my front door. What will I say? What will there reactions be? What if I can't do it? What if I break? Before my hand touched the door knob, it twisted.
"Austin!" My mother greeted me smiling. I nodded and she stepped aside letting me in. I walked past her and looked in to the living room and saw my dad putting on his jacket.
"Oh! Hey Austin. I was just on my way to pick you up." I nodded pulling off my hood and brushed the hair out of my face.
"Yeah yeah. Mom dad please sit down. I need to talk to you guys." They exchanged glances before sitting down on the long sofa facing the TV. I stepped in front of them and opened my mouth to speak then shook my head and began pacing. I'd better tell them what's up before they assume somethings wrong.
"OK. You guys listen. It's never in my intention to disappoint you guys. Or bring shame to the family. But I can't help who I am. This is who I am. Mom dad, I'm gay. And there isn't a damn thing you could do about it." My father furrowed his eye brows and was about to stand but I held out my hand pleading.
"No Dad please. I've tried not to be gay. And nothing works. Today at the party I took your guys thoughts under consideration. That maybe I haven't found the right girl? But the truth is. There is no right girl out there for me. I've known I was gay from the instant I kissed Mandy. You remember her? My first girlfriend. Well, when I kissed her, something inside me didn't feel right. And then and there I knew I was different. Not that something was wrong with me, but that I was different." My parents both starred at me with blank expressions. And I continued on.
"I know that you guys don't approve of my sexuality. But again, this is who I am and-"
"Since this is 'Who you are,'" My dad said raising his hands and putting air quotes around who I am. "You can be who you are some place else." I shook my head. How can he be this way? For all the years that I've been alive, since the instant I took my first steps I've done as my parents pleased. Went to school, did my chores, ate my broccoli. And they're telling me that they can't except my sexuality? Who I am? Fine. Let things be this way.
"I will." I said standing my ground. My moms mouth dropped and she starred at me wide eyed. I shook my head at her feeling no support and walked past them upstairs to my room.
"You come back down here! We are not done discussing this!" I shook my head chuckling to myself and turned at the top of the stairs. I've reached the boiling point. If they can't accept me, then I"m out of here.
"I'm done!" I shouted from the top of the stairs. Then went to my room and collected my things.
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