Get Out of This town
There's nothing wrong with being Gay
I sauntered through the hallway with my head down staring at the passing floor. I couldn't go back to sleep this morning. Every time I closed my eyes I saw my dad's angry face and my mother's tears of disappointment. I feel like I've let them down in a way.
My insides churned as I entered the cafeteria. I wasn't so sure if my friends would be on my side, of excepting the fact that I'm a homosexual or just be like my parents and never want to see my face again.
I walked up to the table where all my friends were and sat down quietly. I glanced over to where Tyler was sitting. He was laughing and joking with his far larger group of friends than mine. I looked around my table.
"Did you watch Silent library yesterday?" Pete asked? I shook my head changing the subject.
"What do you guys think of homosexuals?" Everyone looked up at me. I felt this awkward silence brewing and I cleared my throat. "You know...people that are gay." Justin shrugged his shoulders looking at Cathy and Pete.
"Well umm I think they're stupid." Cathy slapped his shoulder glaring at him. "I don't mean like that kind of stupid. I mean they're stupid for liking someone of the same gender." I stared at him not saying anything. How am I stupid for being attracted to Tyler?
"IN a way." Cathy interrupted. "I kind of agree with him. Why like someone of the same sex? What's wrong with the opposite. Do they not appeal to your liking?" I shrugged not realizing she directed the question to me, and not to gays in general.
"Oh!" I blurred. "I'm not gay. I just know someone who might be. And I'm looking for some advice to give him." I lied. I'm a horrible liar. Everyone stared at me again in silence. I felt their eyes all burning holes in me. I hate being the center of attention.
"Well." Pete said putting down his fork. "Maybe you should tell your friend that girls have more to offer. He can start a family with them and love them all the same if they were a guy." I shook my head.
"no, no. You don't get it. He feels no chemistry with girls. They're just not working for him. He said that when he kisses guys it feels...it feels marvelous. Like a rush of adrenaline is running in him. It's not like that when he kisses girls." I glanced around the table. All eyes on me. Uh oh. "So he told me." I stated. They all nodded grinning.
"Look." Cathy said reaching out to my hand. "There's nothing wrong with being gay. We just don't think there's a valid reason to be. Maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet." I nodded then immediately snatched my hands from hers.
"I'm not gay." I bellowed. A few heads turned in my direction. I felt my face get warm and I sunk into my chair.
"Yeah. Sure you're not." Justin said taking a bite of his pizza. I sighed heavily looking over at Tyler again. Oh well I guess. At least they aren't disappointed or mad at me like my parents will be.
My insides churned as I entered the cafeteria. I wasn't so sure if my friends would be on my side, of excepting the fact that I'm a homosexual or just be like my parents and never want to see my face again.
I walked up to the table where all my friends were and sat down quietly. I glanced over to where Tyler was sitting. He was laughing and joking with his far larger group of friends than mine. I looked around my table.
"Did you watch Silent library yesterday?" Pete asked? I shook my head changing the subject.
"What do you guys think of homosexuals?" Everyone looked up at me. I felt this awkward silence brewing and I cleared my throat. "You know...people that are gay." Justin shrugged his shoulders looking at Cathy and Pete.
"Well umm I think they're stupid." Cathy slapped his shoulder glaring at him. "I don't mean like that kind of stupid. I mean they're stupid for liking someone of the same gender." I stared at him not saying anything. How am I stupid for being attracted to Tyler?
"IN a way." Cathy interrupted. "I kind of agree with him. Why like someone of the same sex? What's wrong with the opposite. Do they not appeal to your liking?" I shrugged not realizing she directed the question to me, and not to gays in general.
"Oh!" I blurred. "I'm not gay. I just know someone who might be. And I'm looking for some advice to give him." I lied. I'm a horrible liar. Everyone stared at me again in silence. I felt their eyes all burning holes in me. I hate being the center of attention.
"Well." Pete said putting down his fork. "Maybe you should tell your friend that girls have more to offer. He can start a family with them and love them all the same if they were a guy." I shook my head.
"no, no. You don't get it. He feels no chemistry with girls. They're just not working for him. He said that when he kisses guys it feels...it feels marvelous. Like a rush of adrenaline is running in him. It's not like that when he kisses girls." I glanced around the table. All eyes on me. Uh oh. "So he told me." I stated. They all nodded grinning.
"Look." Cathy said reaching out to my hand. "There's nothing wrong with being gay. We just don't think there's a valid reason to be. Maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet." I nodded then immediately snatched my hands from hers.
"I'm not gay." I bellowed. A few heads turned in my direction. I felt my face get warm and I sunk into my chair.
"Yeah. Sure you're not." Justin said taking a bite of his pizza. I sighed heavily looking over at Tyler again. Oh well I guess. At least they aren't disappointed or mad at me like my parents will be.
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