Help Me.

Saturday is here and I am scared shitless. I’m so worried and anxious all at the same time. I debate on changing, on making myself look nice.

I don’t do anything but throw on some jeans and a t-shirt. I’m not dressing up today, because I have no reason to dress up. Deni cannot see me. Deni isn’t here so why would I dress up?For Seth.

My dad already knows where I’m going so all I do is eat some breakfast and leave. I’m at Marcus’s in no time and so is Turner and Jeremy. The four of us greet each other like we always do; tackling. I scream when Turner tackles me over the couch and we land roughly on the ground…it just so happened that Turner’s dick landed on my knee.

Turner groans and clutches between his legs. The guys and I laugh. “You deserved that!”

“Bull shit,” Turner moans in pain and rolls onto his side.

I roll my eyes and jump on the couch. Marcus flicks on a video game just when there’s a knock on the door. Immediately, my body stiffens because I am pretty sure I know who it is. A lump forms in my throat and I glance towards the guys to see them all smiling.

“What?” I ask and there’s another knock. I know who it is, because no one ever knocks at this house.

“Are you gonna get that?” Marcus sings and I snarl. I’m not that obvious am I?

I groan and get onto my feet. I open the door to see Seth with his fist raised, about ready to knock again. He laughs and scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. “H-Hey Max…I’m so glad ya answered I was scared I got the wrong address and you guys were just fuckin’ with me!”

“We wouldn’t do that,” I laugh and move to let Seth walk in. He smiles kindly at me and my heart flutters insanely in my chest. I mentally slap myself because I do not, I repeat do not have a crush on Seth.

Just remember…Deni, Deni, Deni, Deni. I sigh just thinking about him. He still makes my heart beat unusually fast, but at the same time…the feelings aren’t as strong. They’re slowly dying and this causes me to frown, because Deni…he loved me and I loved him. What would he think, what would he say if he knew that I was developing a crush?

No wait…I’m not getting a crush! No, no, no!

We walk into the living room to find the guys grinning up at us. I seemed to be the only one who noticed that mischievous glint in their eyes. Seth is completely oblivious to it so he smiles and greets them all with a very kind ‘hello’.

“Hey Seth, sit down! We’re just playing some games, but Marcus just ordered some pizza,” Turner shouts happily, patting the seat next to him with a grin that can only be described as evil.

Of course he makes me sit by Seth. After I take my seat the guys are talking and Seth seems to be enjoying himself. I squirm beside him, causing our arms to brush, and he looks at me with that contagious smile of his. I bite my lip and smile back, but I knew I looked like an idiot while doing it.

Seth laughs and turns his attention to me. From behind him I see Turner wiggle his eyebrows, which only makes me want to kill him more. These guys…they’re setting me up! Don’t they remember Deni though? Don’t they remember that sweet boy who didn’t only love me, but who I loved back? Did they not remember what we had? Or do they actually remember and just don’t care?

“Did ya watch Deadliest Warrior last night?” Seth’s eyes grew wide with excitement.

I laugh and shout, “Hell yeah I did! That Zande warrior was kick ass.”

“And a little weird…that dude just drank the blood!” Jeremy screams from his spot on the ground. We all watch him look up towards the ceiling in curiosity and laugh when he asks, “I wonder if it tasted good?”

“Probably tastes just like kool-aid Jeremy,” Seth chuckles sarcastically, kicking his side in the side childishly. Jeremy punches his leg and Seth kicks him in the back. Within moments they’re on the ground wrestling, the guys and I laughing and betting on who will win the little match.

The bell rings and Marcus leaves probably going to get the pizza. Seth has Jeremy in a head lock when Marcus returns. Once seen Jeremy is gone, attacking Marcus for the answer to life; pizza.

“What da hell man? You pussy,” Seth teases, getting off the ground to get himself a piece of pizza.

The five of us get ourselves a plate full of food and something to drink before going back to the living room where Jeremy and Turner went to playing video games. Marcus, Seth, and I were watching, throwing in a few insults or taunts in here or there like the boys that we are.

A simple movement from me has my hand brushing against Seth’s. I can feel his eyes on me when I pull the appendage away and cross my arms over my chest. He tilts his head to the side and I can tell he’s curious as to why I’m acting so strange, but I don’t dare say a thing.

Let him be confused and clueless. It’s much better that way.

The day went by quickly with a hell of a lot of fun. The guys and I messed around, pigged out on junk food, played video games, and got ourselves dirty outside in the mud after it had rained. It was probably one of the most fun days I’ve had since…

Since Deni passed.

Jeremy and Turner ended up leaving some time around six because their parents were being a pain in the ass. When eight o’clock rolled around Seth lifted up his phone and learned that he had to go home. This, of course, made Marcus grin and insist on me walking him to the door.

“Thanks for letting me hang out!” Seth said to Marcus with a huge grin. “It was a hell of a lot of fun!”

Marcus says his good-bye and soon Seth and I are standing outside on the porch. I shift from one foot to the other and Seth notices my behavior. It causes him to laugh. “You’re so weird Maxie.”

I roll my eyes. “Says you.”

“I’ll see you at school Monday?”

“Yeah.”

Seth wraps his arms around me and yes, I blush. Yes, my heart hammers inside my chest and yes, I liked it. When he pulls away I force the blush down and try to pretend like it’s cool, like I’m not developing a crush because I really don’t want to like him.

Deni. What about Deni?

“Bye!” Seth calls and runs down the side walk to get into his car. When he’s gone I stomp into the house and scream at Marcus for setting me up.

He is such a douche.