Help Me.

“Where are you from?”

“Louisiana.”

“Why’d you move here?”

“My pa got a promotion, but there was a catch and we had to move up here. Not that I mind. The hurricanes down there were horrible!” Seth laughs and I don’t exactly know how. Just thinking about a hurricane scares the shit out of me. How he can laugh it off I’ll never know.

“Hurricanes scare the shit out of me,” I mumble more to myself than him, but he heard me anyways.

“I’m use to ‘em so it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“Obviously.”

“So…tell me about you Maxxie! Did you always live around here?” He asks and I don’t know how he can sound so interested in me. I’m not that interesting of a person.

“Yeah, my whole life. My mom passed away when I was younger…it’s just me, my dad, and-” I almost said it. Shit! I almost said Julie. What if he learned about her? What would he do if he knew I had a kid? He’d probably hate me. Shit.

“And who?”

I shake my head and grumble, “No one…it’s just me and my dad.”

“Sorry to hear that…if my mommy died I don’t know what I’d do!” His eyes suddenly got wide with horror and I laugh.He really is adorable. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Mmm…red.” Like Deni’s hair.

“Favorite food?”

“Ice cream.” Cuz I always got it with Deni.

“Favorite pass time?”Being with Deni. “I…I don’t know.”

Maybe it was my frown or maybe my tone of voice, I’m not sure, but one of them gave me away. One of them told Seth that there really is something wrong with me, that something is keeping me down, because he suddenly frowns and it’s the first time I see it.

I realize I don’t like it.

“Holding stuff in never solves the problem, Maxxie,” Seth speaks softly. His tone makes me shiver and I close my eyes because I know if I continue looking into those bright green eyes I’ll give in. I know I’ll spill my guts out to him and I don’t want to. I don’t want him to hate me…

My mind was set on never saying a word, but when his hand comes up to run across my cheek, when his thumb runs across my bottom lip, and his fingers gently comb my hair I feel myself losing it. My eyes open and there they are; those bright green orbs that makes me melt.

“I know it’s none of my business.” He continues caressing my cheek and damn it if he doesn’t stop I’m going to lose it. My decision was made, but he’s causing it to slowly crumble. “But it’s bothering ya and I don’t like seeing you unhappy.”

And there it went…

“You’ll hate me if you know the truth,” my voice sounds so weak and I mentally slap myself. I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t tell him anything but-

“Try me.” His voice just tells me that no matter what he’ll be right there…

By the time I finish my story it’s dark. The sun has already set in the distant and the moon is high in the sky. The stars are shining bright, they’re the only thing illuminating the ground and things around us. Somehow Seth and I ended up side by side with his arms wrapped around me while I cried like an idiot into his chest.

He runs his hands down my spine. It’s soothing and I welcome it although I know I shouldn’t. Deni, please forgive me…I know I shouldn’t like him, but I just do. Damn it…I just do…

“I was always a good kid, but…but someone up there must hate me! I did good in school and I was nice to everyone. I never did anything wrong, yet all this fucking shit happens to me! Why me? Why is it always me now? I don’t know what I did wrong!”

“Shh…Maxxie, shit happens and there’s normally never a reason why. You just have to accept it and move on.”

“That’s what everyone says but it’s so much easier said than done,” I cry, gripping his shirt a little tighter. I really shouldn’t be doing this. I probably look so weak, like such a girl, but that thought only makes me feel worse.

Seth sighs and he pushes me away so that we’re looking at each other. I know my eyes are probably red and puffy so I don’t see how he can stand looking at me. I shouldn’t complain though…I like his eyes. They’re just like Deni’s, but at the same time I hate them because they are just like Deni’s.

“That’s true, but just think about it…if you’re able to get through all this and move on it’ll only make ya stronger for whatever lies ahead. Life is like a roller coaster. It has it’s ups and downs, twists, and turns, but it’s up to you in the end if you get off that coaster laughing or crying.”

“A lot of bad stuff happened to you, but there was a lot of good too. You got a beautiful little girl, you fell in love and although it hurt in the end I’m sure it was amazing while it lasted and you got closer to your friends and your father so…it wasn’t all bad. Right?”

Sniffling, I wipe at my eyes and mumble, “I guess…”

Seth smiles and it makes those stupid butterflies inhabit my chest. They flutter through out my entire being and I make a mental note to kill them later when my brain isn’t being meshed from the close proximity I’m in with Seth.

“Things will get better, I promise. Ya got all your friends and your dad to support you and…maybe there will be a few bumps along the way, but in the end I’m sure you’ll be happy.”

Rolling my eyes I punch Seth in the chest. “You’re far too optimistic.”

“You know it!”