Help Me.

“I swear if you do not kiss him by the end of this week I will kill you!”

So maybe I shouldn’t have told Valerie about what Seth and I talked about. If she didn’t learn that I spilled my guts out to Seth maybe she wouldn’t be so determined to get us together…or maybe she would be either way.

“But I-”

“No buts! You are a boy and last time I checked boys are horny bastards-”

“Hey!”

“Now get yourself some ass or at least a kiss! Come on, Seth is sexy…I mean he has that whole south thing to him.” She waves her hand through the air with a dreamy sigh. You know that one girls make when they want a boy but know they can’t get them, yeah that one.

I roll my eyes at her and groan, “Valerie that’s a lot easier said than done.”

“Max.” Her soft voice works it way through my mind. I know that if I look at her I might just give in so I stare off into the distance while she speaks to me. “I know you miss Deni and that you still love him, but if you stay like this you’ll never be happy. Please…just give Seth a chance.”

Deni…yes I still miss him so much. Sometimes I still cry. Sometimes I still have nightmares. I can still remember that day, the day I learned of his passing. It still stings. It still hurts. It still makes me cry and beg God at night to bring him back.

I miss him so, so much. I’ve been so unhappy lately because he’s gone. I felt like a walking zombie after I lost him, but Seth…ever since he’s shown up all of those feelings have went away.

I still do miss Deni, a lot, but I think of him less and less. He’s still in my mind, but he’s tucked away and sometimes it’s not even painful to think of him anymore. Seth he…he gives me those feelings that Deni use to give me. He makes me smile, laugh, and blush just like Deni did.

It’s like Deni’s way of apologizing for what he did. It’s like he sent Seth to me because he knew I’d need someone to keep me sane.

Seth…he doesn’t care about what I did. He accepts me for who I am. Although he knows I had a mental break down he stays by my side. Doesn’t that prove that he cares?

I flush and glare at my toes. “He makes me feel like such a girl though.”

Valerie seems happy that I didn’t continue on about Deni. After sighing, she laughs, “Everyone feels like a girl when they’ve got themselves a crush.” She pokes my nose and I wrinkle it up. “Now, you two better get together this week or I am going to force you.”

I scoff. “Whatever.”

~

“Maxie!” I don’t have time to dodge the boy who has thrown himself at me. Shouting, I somehow manage to catch Seth without us both tumbling to the ground.Not that I would have minded having him on top of me…

“Good morning,” he chirps happily, his arm wrapping itself around my shoulders. I can hear the guys cackling behind me and I shoot them a glare over my shoulder. “I brought brownies!”

Suddenly the guys laughing at me isn’t so important. I perk up and drool over the box Seth has before me. “Can I have one?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles with a far too superior smirk on his lips. I pout and kick him in the shin. “Ouch!”

“Give me one!” I demand, grabbing for the box, but Seth rips it away. He laughs wildly while I chase him down the hall and to our first period class where I jump over a desk to get to him.

We go plummeting to the ground where I successfully get the box of brownies. Laughing, I take one and I’m about to shove it in my mouth, but then I realize what position we’re in.

Our chests are touching and I can feel that jolt in my veins. Our hips are pressed together and just moving has that spark igniting in my stomach and I’m forced to bite my lip to keep myself from moaning. Seth moves to sit up and our hips rock against one another and chests touch.

I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. I moaned softly against his neck and I immediately regret it. We both grow stiff, but I’m the first one to quickly bolt to my desk when I hear the guys come in.

The three of them look at us suspiciously. Marcus is the first to ask, “What’s up with you two?”

Seth and I are looking in opposite directions, but we still manage to answer in unison. “Nothing.”

It’s obvious that they don’t buy it, but neither of them ask any questions. For the rest of the day Seth and I practically avoid each other. I don’t look at him and I bet he didn’t look at me. We don’t really speak to each other and any time we did run into each other we’d both blush and bolt in opposite directions.

People knew something was up, but no one asked and I’m glad for that because I have no idea how I’d answer them.

I don’t think it’d be very smart to say oh we were in a very intimate position and I moaned so now we’re avoiding each other! Yeah…I don’t even want to hear what Valerie would say about that.

Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair and head home. I really need some time to think…