Frank's Last Words
Wondering Why
The Past
“Thanks for meeting me,” said Lily as she walked alongside Frank. She had this sudden urge to link her arm through his but they weren’t that close yet. Would they ever be? She thought remembering Madame Zola’s words that Frank should accept her for what she was. She knew it was her problem the fact that she couldn’t take him home yet. She was sure it would scare him off and she remembered too clearly other kids’ taunts from when she was young about how much money she had, how spoilt she was because she got everything she wanted and because of this she always felt she hadn’t fitted in. He knew she lived in a big house but the house wasn’t all they had. They had so many cars in the garage, classic cars, sports cars, two swimming pools one in door and one outside.
They had so much, it was shameful.
“No problem at all.” Said Frank walking with his hands in his pockets. “Hey why don’t I come back to yours and wait for you while you get ready then you can come to the gig with us. I don’t mind.” He said sounding as though he really wanted to come back with her.
“No. No its OK Frank, its out of your way and…there’s a few things I need to do. I’ll meet you at the venue later shall I?” She said, hating herself and wanting him to come back. So why not let him then.
“If that’s what you want,” said Frank but he was a little quieter after that, a little standoffish may be but he still gave her a kiss outside the huge iron gates of her home and deep down she wished she could just invite him to come in but couldn’t bring herself to do it.
**
“But I thought we arranged to go to the movies,” said Carly in the usual whiny voice that suddenly appeared when she didn’t get her own way.
“We just said we’d go to the movies in a couple of days, I didn’t realise that we’d set a date,” said Lily cradling the phone on her shoulder listening to Carly drone on about not wanting to go with Zach.
“Well why not leave it until tomorrow then? I can come then too, its just I want to see Frank play again and afterwards we’re going back to his.”
“Zach wants to go tonight,” whined Carly. “You know what he’s like if he doesn’t get his way.”
Yes thought Lily, I know what he’s like; he’s like the male version of you. She smiled to herself.
“Are you and Frank an item?” Carly asked.
“Um…I’m not sure Carly, we’ve seen each other a couple of times and…yeah, I like him. He’s good company.”
“How’s Gerard?” She said changing the subject onto something that had to do with her.
“I don’t know, I’ve not spoken to him, you want me to give him your regards when I see him this evening?” Lily said opening drawers and trying to decide what t-shirt to wear.
“Nah, its his loss. There’s plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time won’t you?”
“I hope so, it’s a shame you can’t come to the gig instead of going to the movies.”
“Yeah but I’ve promised Zach now, plus I’ve got that interview tomorrow with that company that have got offices in New York, you know, the trainee journalist job so I don’t want to be out too late.”
“Oh god yes Carly I forgot, good luck for it. I’m pleased for you. I hope you get it and then you can go and write some tabloid tale about the rich and famous.”
“It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do.” She said and Lily was glad that her friend had this interview, she so hoped she’d get the job but it would mean leaving home and going to live in New York.
“I know. Go for it girl, let me know how it goes and enjoy the movies.” Said Lily as they hung up. Her mind immediately went from Carly and back to choosing a t-shirt for the evening.
She decided on her dark purple one.
**
Standing at the side of the stage Lily couldn’t take her eyes from him. She couldn’t believe how much energy he had. Where did it all come from? Was he always this energetic? Would he be like it in bed? Stop it, stop it she thought blushing to herself, her eyes momentarily leaving Frank and coming to rest on a group of three girls at the front of the stage who also only had eyes for Frank. They were staring at him in adoration and it wanted to make her smile even more. I bet he probably hadn’t even noticed them she thought watching him get so wrapped up in his music.
**
“Its 2.30am and I need to get going,” said Bob. “My mom’s flying in tomorrow for a visit and I said I’d get her from the airport. In fact, she’s landing in about 5 hours.” He said checking his watch.
“Stay here, man.” Said Frank.
“I’d love to but that still means I have to go home and get my car.” Bob said standing up and stretching. “I’ll catch you guys tomorrow.” He said then left.
Ray had left earlier with Mikey so it was just the three of them, Frank, Lily and Gerard. She knew it was late and would have to leave soon herself but then didn’t want to leave just yet as she’d had such a fantastic evening. They’d come back here and had played music, sat around eating Chinese from cartons and some of them drank beer. She and Gerard shared a huge bottle of diet Pepsi between them.
Then for some reason Ray wanted to see her dance and everyone was egging her on so in total silence she got up and did a little routine, and as she finished she saw the faces around her smiling and clapping.
“That was so good Lily,” said Gerard, “well done. Next time you’re in a show, I’d like to come.”
”See I told you she could dance,” said Frank and this made her heart lift imagining Frank telling his friends that she could dance.
“Hey Lily, can you do the waltz? My grandmother used to try and teach us when we were younger. Remember Mikey?” Gerard said turning to his brother.
“Yeah, but I sucked at it and you know you were good.” Mikey said sipping slowly from his beer.
“Yeah I do know how to waltz, its one of the first things I ever learnt when I was young.” Lily said. “Come on, show me your moves Gerard.”
“No, I couldn’t.” Said Gerard.
“Yes you can and you will, we all want to see this,” said Frank dragging Gerard up from the floor.
So Lily and Gerard danced together and Lily was quite impressed with him, the way he held himself, he’d been taught properly she thought.
“You only trod on my foot once,” said Lily and they all laughed together about Gerard knowing how to waltz.
After that she’d tried to teach Bob and Ray to waltz but they just didn’t have any idea so they all decided to call it quits and sat around as Ray started telling some jokes that he’d heard that day.
Looking around her and listening to the way they interacted with each other Lily realised how great these guys were and she was quickly becoming fond of them all.
**
They were in the kitchen just clearing some stuff up when she checked her watch and realised it was gone 3am.
“I’m going to have to go.” Said Lily as she put some glasses away into a cupboard.
“Why?” Said Frank peering at her. She turned away.
“Because…its late and I’m…tired.” She said unable to look at him as she moved things around on the kitchen counter, embarassed.
“You’re not working tomorrow and I’m not working until the evening. Stay Lily. Please.” He said as he came towards her, turned her face towards his and leant in for a kiss. His breath smelt beery but she liked it as he pressed himself against her, his soft lips meeting hers. He cupped her face tenderly as he kissed her, leaving her feeling weak and overcome with an exquisite feeling in the pit of her stomach.
As they ended their kiss Lily spoke.
“Gerard. He…he’s in there,” she said nodding towards the living room as she stared into his eyes, his pupils huge.
Frank took her hand and they entered the living room but Gerard was nowhere to be seen but he’d left a hastily scribbled note on the coffee table.
I’ll see you guys later. G. xoxo
“Looks like he’s already gone.” Said Frank who was still holding onto Lily’s hand. “So. You gonna stay or what?”
So how could she refuse? She didn’t want to refuse. She wanted him too so she nodded at Frank then he led them off up the stairs to his bedroom.
**
As Frank went over to draw the curtains Lily noticed that his room obviously hadn’t been decorated for years. The room was entirely blue like a young teenagers, there were posters of various bands on the walls. There was an old fashioned chest of drawers in the corner with drawers open and clothes spilling out of it. Alongside was a bookshelf with loads of books and other assortments of things, a CD rack, a wardrobe that didn’t match the chest of drawers and whose doors weren’t quite closed because it was obviously so crammed with items that theycouldn’t shut. And then she saw his pride and joy, his three guitars on their stands, music books and sheet music strewn around the floor. She realised then that those three guitars must have cost so much money when it was obvious that Frank and his family didn’t have a lot.
Life wasn’t fair she thought feeling guilty again for having so much.
“What are you thinking?” Frank’s voice broke into her thoughts.
”I’m thinking…your guitars are beautiful.” She said turning to him.
“So are you.” Said Frank coming towards her and taking her hand, he turned it over and kissed her palm gently, his breath warm and tickly and causing butterflies to erupt deep in her stomach. Then he kissed her wrist, lightly and tenderly as his other hand snaked round her waist pulling her closer to him. His lips met hers and she could feel his lip ring pressing against her lips as his tongue slipped inside.
He pulled away and spoke. “Are you OK? We…we don’t have to you know.” He said looking at her and she knew then that he cared about her.
“I’m more than OK.” Lily replied as she put her hand up behind his neck, her fingers mingling into his hair and pulled him towards her so she could taste more of those soft, sweet lips.
The Present
She was aware of him the whole time the movie played, she could hear them all whispering and talking on occasion and she could smell him. The scent of the familiar cologne he wore on special occasions brought back so many memories, especially of their first night together when she could practically taste it on his skin. How could she forget that smell? How could she forget him? Even though she was married he was constantly in her thoughts wondering why. Why it had all come to an end? What had she done wrong?
Tonight she was going to find out.
She had to ask him, she had to find just a few minutes to talk to him she thought as the credits rolled and the lights came up.
“Thanks for meeting me,” said Lily as she walked alongside Frank. She had this sudden urge to link her arm through his but they weren’t that close yet. Would they ever be? She thought remembering Madame Zola’s words that Frank should accept her for what she was. She knew it was her problem the fact that she couldn’t take him home yet. She was sure it would scare him off and she remembered too clearly other kids’ taunts from when she was young about how much money she had, how spoilt she was because she got everything she wanted and because of this she always felt she hadn’t fitted in. He knew she lived in a big house but the house wasn’t all they had. They had so many cars in the garage, classic cars, sports cars, two swimming pools one in door and one outside.
They had so much, it was shameful.
“No problem at all.” Said Frank walking with his hands in his pockets. “Hey why don’t I come back to yours and wait for you while you get ready then you can come to the gig with us. I don’t mind.” He said sounding as though he really wanted to come back with her.
“No. No its OK Frank, its out of your way and…there’s a few things I need to do. I’ll meet you at the venue later shall I?” She said, hating herself and wanting him to come back. So why not let him then.
“If that’s what you want,” said Frank but he was a little quieter after that, a little standoffish may be but he still gave her a kiss outside the huge iron gates of her home and deep down she wished she could just invite him to come in but couldn’t bring herself to do it.
**
“But I thought we arranged to go to the movies,” said Carly in the usual whiny voice that suddenly appeared when she didn’t get her own way.
“We just said we’d go to the movies in a couple of days, I didn’t realise that we’d set a date,” said Lily cradling the phone on her shoulder listening to Carly drone on about not wanting to go with Zach.
“Well why not leave it until tomorrow then? I can come then too, its just I want to see Frank play again and afterwards we’re going back to his.”
“Zach wants to go tonight,” whined Carly. “You know what he’s like if he doesn’t get his way.”
Yes thought Lily, I know what he’s like; he’s like the male version of you. She smiled to herself.
“Are you and Frank an item?” Carly asked.
“Um…I’m not sure Carly, we’ve seen each other a couple of times and…yeah, I like him. He’s good company.”
“How’s Gerard?” She said changing the subject onto something that had to do with her.
“I don’t know, I’ve not spoken to him, you want me to give him your regards when I see him this evening?” Lily said opening drawers and trying to decide what t-shirt to wear.
“Nah, its his loss. There’s plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time won’t you?”
“I hope so, it’s a shame you can’t come to the gig instead of going to the movies.”
“Yeah but I’ve promised Zach now, plus I’ve got that interview tomorrow with that company that have got offices in New York, you know, the trainee journalist job so I don’t want to be out too late.”
“Oh god yes Carly I forgot, good luck for it. I’m pleased for you. I hope you get it and then you can go and write some tabloid tale about the rich and famous.”
“It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do.” She said and Lily was glad that her friend had this interview, she so hoped she’d get the job but it would mean leaving home and going to live in New York.
“I know. Go for it girl, let me know how it goes and enjoy the movies.” Said Lily as they hung up. Her mind immediately went from Carly and back to choosing a t-shirt for the evening.
She decided on her dark purple one.
**
Standing at the side of the stage Lily couldn’t take her eyes from him. She couldn’t believe how much energy he had. Where did it all come from? Was he always this energetic? Would he be like it in bed? Stop it, stop it she thought blushing to herself, her eyes momentarily leaving Frank and coming to rest on a group of three girls at the front of the stage who also only had eyes for Frank. They were staring at him in adoration and it wanted to make her smile even more. I bet he probably hadn’t even noticed them she thought watching him get so wrapped up in his music.
**
“Its 2.30am and I need to get going,” said Bob. “My mom’s flying in tomorrow for a visit and I said I’d get her from the airport. In fact, she’s landing in about 5 hours.” He said checking his watch.
“Stay here, man.” Said Frank.
“I’d love to but that still means I have to go home and get my car.” Bob said standing up and stretching. “I’ll catch you guys tomorrow.” He said then left.
Ray had left earlier with Mikey so it was just the three of them, Frank, Lily and Gerard. She knew it was late and would have to leave soon herself but then didn’t want to leave just yet as she’d had such a fantastic evening. They’d come back here and had played music, sat around eating Chinese from cartons and some of them drank beer. She and Gerard shared a huge bottle of diet Pepsi between them.
Then for some reason Ray wanted to see her dance and everyone was egging her on so in total silence she got up and did a little routine, and as she finished she saw the faces around her smiling and clapping.
“That was so good Lily,” said Gerard, “well done. Next time you’re in a show, I’d like to come.”
”See I told you she could dance,” said Frank and this made her heart lift imagining Frank telling his friends that she could dance.
“Hey Lily, can you do the waltz? My grandmother used to try and teach us when we were younger. Remember Mikey?” Gerard said turning to his brother.
“Yeah, but I sucked at it and you know you were good.” Mikey said sipping slowly from his beer.
“Yeah I do know how to waltz, its one of the first things I ever learnt when I was young.” Lily said. “Come on, show me your moves Gerard.”
“No, I couldn’t.” Said Gerard.
“Yes you can and you will, we all want to see this,” said Frank dragging Gerard up from the floor.
So Lily and Gerard danced together and Lily was quite impressed with him, the way he held himself, he’d been taught properly she thought.
“You only trod on my foot once,” said Lily and they all laughed together about Gerard knowing how to waltz.
After that she’d tried to teach Bob and Ray to waltz but they just didn’t have any idea so they all decided to call it quits and sat around as Ray started telling some jokes that he’d heard that day.
Looking around her and listening to the way they interacted with each other Lily realised how great these guys were and she was quickly becoming fond of them all.
**
They were in the kitchen just clearing some stuff up when she checked her watch and realised it was gone 3am.
“I’m going to have to go.” Said Lily as she put some glasses away into a cupboard.
“Why?” Said Frank peering at her. She turned away.
“Because…its late and I’m…tired.” She said unable to look at him as she moved things around on the kitchen counter, embarassed.
“You’re not working tomorrow and I’m not working until the evening. Stay Lily. Please.” He said as he came towards her, turned her face towards his and leant in for a kiss. His breath smelt beery but she liked it as he pressed himself against her, his soft lips meeting hers. He cupped her face tenderly as he kissed her, leaving her feeling weak and overcome with an exquisite feeling in the pit of her stomach.
As they ended their kiss Lily spoke.
“Gerard. He…he’s in there,” she said nodding towards the living room as she stared into his eyes, his pupils huge.
Frank took her hand and they entered the living room but Gerard was nowhere to be seen but he’d left a hastily scribbled note on the coffee table.
I’ll see you guys later. G. xoxo
“Looks like he’s already gone.” Said Frank who was still holding onto Lily’s hand. “So. You gonna stay or what?”
So how could she refuse? She didn’t want to refuse. She wanted him too so she nodded at Frank then he led them off up the stairs to his bedroom.
**
As Frank went over to draw the curtains Lily noticed that his room obviously hadn’t been decorated for years. The room was entirely blue like a young teenagers, there were posters of various bands on the walls. There was an old fashioned chest of drawers in the corner with drawers open and clothes spilling out of it. Alongside was a bookshelf with loads of books and other assortments of things, a CD rack, a wardrobe that didn’t match the chest of drawers and whose doors weren’t quite closed because it was obviously so crammed with items that theycouldn’t shut. And then she saw his pride and joy, his three guitars on their stands, music books and sheet music strewn around the floor. She realised then that those three guitars must have cost so much money when it was obvious that Frank and his family didn’t have a lot.
Life wasn’t fair she thought feeling guilty again for having so much.
“What are you thinking?” Frank’s voice broke into her thoughts.
”I’m thinking…your guitars are beautiful.” She said turning to him.
“So are you.” Said Frank coming towards her and taking her hand, he turned it over and kissed her palm gently, his breath warm and tickly and causing butterflies to erupt deep in her stomach. Then he kissed her wrist, lightly and tenderly as his other hand snaked round her waist pulling her closer to him. His lips met hers and she could feel his lip ring pressing against her lips as his tongue slipped inside.
He pulled away and spoke. “Are you OK? We…we don’t have to you know.” He said looking at her and she knew then that he cared about her.
“I’m more than OK.” Lily replied as she put her hand up behind his neck, her fingers mingling into his hair and pulled him towards her so she could taste more of those soft, sweet lips.
The Present
She was aware of him the whole time the movie played, she could hear them all whispering and talking on occasion and she could smell him. The scent of the familiar cologne he wore on special occasions brought back so many memories, especially of their first night together when she could practically taste it on his skin. How could she forget that smell? How could she forget him? Even though she was married he was constantly in her thoughts wondering why. Why it had all come to an end? What had she done wrong?
Tonight she was going to find out.
She had to ask him, she had to find just a few minutes to talk to him she thought as the credits rolled and the lights came up.