Frank's Last Words

Caroline had tried calling up Lily but then realised of course she couldn’t get hold of her, she was at work and wouldn’t be able to take any calls until her break or may be not until the end of the day, depending on how busy she was so she decided to leave a message.

“Its just me, I know you’re probably busy sweetheart but I wanted to see how you were after last night and there’s something I want to tell you. I’ll speak to you later, bye.”

Then she went to the drawer in her desk and took out the diary, the diary that she had kept at the time of meeting Frank, the one with his photograph in. It was only a little black diary but the year jumped out at her in silver writing. 1990.

She opened it and started to read a few of the pages then one particular day jumped out at her.

I met this American guy today, his name is Frank and he is so different from anyone around here. I heard his band play and they are amazing. I hope I see some more of him before he goes back.

Then she couldn’t resist reading just a little bit more, a different day, a few days later.

We made love last night and we had to be quiet because there were people sleeping in the room next door. It was so difficult but it was fantastic and he made my first time so special.

Then she felt sad as she read the next part.

Frank has gone. He’s gone back to America and I don’t know when I’ll get to see him again. I feel sick, I don’t want to eat and I don’t want to do anything without him. I love him.

The next day

I’m on my way to America to see him. I stole some money from mum and my step dad but I don’t care, he’s just a bully and she doesn’t stand up for herself so how would she ever stand up for me? I took my passport, packed up some stuff and told Frank what I’m doing. He’s meeting me at the airport and I just can’t wait to see him.

Two weeks later

I’m scared. I’m pregnant but I don’t want to have a baby yet, I’m just not ready. It will tie me down and I can’t afford it, we have no money. I’ve made a decision but know I’m going to hurt Frank. Everything has changed.

One week later

I got rid of our baby two days ago and Frank doesn’t understand why I’ve done it. He said we could be happy together; we could have been a family. I couldn’t bear looking at the hurt on his face knowing what I’d done. I love him but I can’t be with him right now, it wouldn’t be fair on him. I’ve hurt him so much.

Caroline closed the diary and turned over the little photograph of Frank, his face smiling back at her and knew what she was going to do, something she should have done years ago. She went to the little piece of paper, took her phone and called him up.

**

“Frank! Wait!” Said Gerard outside the hospital. He was out of breath as he came out of the double doors but he could see Frank ahead, leaning against a wall, smoking and looking stressed.

“I know, I know. I’m not going to go and beat the guy to a pulp you know, even if its what he deserves and I’d get great pleasure in doing it,” Frank said angrily.

“Calm down man.” Said Gerard putting a hand out onto his friends shoulder.

“What a fucking bastard.” Frank said.

“I can’t believe it, she’s scared and doesn’t want to go back to him, she can’t go back to him. What’ll we do?” Said Gerard.

“The only option is for her to go live back with her mother, she’ll be safe there.” Frank said throwing his cigarette down angrily onto the ground and crushing it with his foot. “Why didn’t she get out when all this started? I don’t get it.” He said shaking his head and wondering why Lily, the Lily who he’d shared so much with had got to this point in her life where she was trapped in a marriage with a wife beater. He wished she’d just have told him but he knew what she was thinking, that he’d dumped her, that he didn’t want her. He began to doubt all that Zach had told him in the past.

“I don’t understand it either. Did you hear our conversation?” Said Gerard, “everything that Lily said?”

“No, I could just about hear her voice. What else did she have to say?” Said Frank, not sure that he wanted to hear more of what that bastard had done to her.

“Nothing much just…just that she was scared,” said Gerard deciding that Lily wouldn’t want Frank to know that she still loved him. It was sad, the fact that they’d split up. Frank had never opened up about it and had never told anyone what had happened, Gerard just knew that they were in love and had talked about the future a little and then suddenly without warning it was over and he didn’t dare ask why.

“Poor Lily,” said Frank hating all this and feeling a little guilty too for believing Zach.

**

“May I call my mother to let her know what has happened? She’ll need to come and collect me,” Lily asked the nurse that was tending to her.

“Yes but you can’t use your cell here, I shall get you one of our phones,” said the nurse heading off through the curtains as Gerard came back in.

“Did you get to speak to Frank? Did you find him?” Said Lily, her eyes scared, obviously worried for Frank.

“Yeah, he wanted to go beat the shit out of Zach but stopped himself.” Said Gerard sitting alongside Lily on the bed. “How are you feeling now?”

“My ankle hurts so much, but they’ve given me painkillers. I’m allowed to go home soon but have to make sure I get physio and do some exercises at home. I’m going to contact my mom, see if she can come and get me.”

“You’ll be better off at your moms. Do you want me to contact Zach and tell him what’s happened?” Gerard asked the pale-faced girl, knowing the answer.

“No. I’ll call him when I’m at moms and tell him what I’ve decided.” She said. Gerard thought she looked slightly relieved at getting away from him at last.

”And what have you decided?” He said taking her hand.

“That I’m leaving him. He can’t treat me like that anymore, I don’t know why he’s like it.” She said sad because Zach had been good to her once, he’d been there after Frank had left, he’d held her when she’d cried, had told her that everything would be fine. Had taken her out, cheered her up and bought her little gifts. She thought she loved him, not as much as Frank but she knew she’d never have a love like that again so she’d made do. She’d made do with Zach, told him she loved him after he’d told her, she’d slept with him and married him, all the time knowing she really loved someone else. So she felt she was to blame for all this.

“I think he was jealous at what you and Frank had once. I have this feeling he’s always liked you more than just as Carly’s friend, I remember seeing the way he looked at you.”

“Maybe but I shouldn’t have married him, I led him on Gerard. Its my fault.” She said, her eyes filling with tears.

“Its not your fault that he beat you Lily, don’t you ever blame yourself you hear?” Gerard said kindly and reached into his pocket, pulled out a crumpled handkerchief and handed it to her. She sniffed loudly into it then didn’t know what to do with it.

Gerard smiled. “You keep it, I don’t want it back now,” he said.

They laughed quietly together.

“Thanks Gerard,” Lily said then looked up as the nurse came in with the phone for Lily.

“Its fine, you just get yourself better.” Gerard replied then he disappeared behind the curtain once again and heard him speaking to someone. She knew it was Frank and even though she looked a mess she would give anything for him to just open those curtains, to come right on in and hold her close right then.

**

“I can’t seem to get hold of my mother,” said Lily to the nurse. “I’ve left a message at home and on her cell.”

Lily had to leave the hospital soon, they needed to tend to other, more urgent patients and her bed was needed. She was still wearing her leotard and tights, one of the legs cut off to accommodate her cast and she had Gerard’s black hoody across her shoulders. She was sitting in the corridor of the hospital in a wheelchair, her leg sticking out in front of her covered in plaster and she was contemplating what to do next.

“You can switch on your cell and check for messages,” said the nurse, “just don’t make any calls.”

“Oh. Right.” Said Lily who was watching Gerard and Frank talking at the other end of the corridor. They were drinking a coffee that they’d got from a vending machine and Frank still hadn’t spoken to her. She wondered if he ever would.

Turning on her phone it bleeped a few times.

She lifted up the phone to her ear and listened to her mother’s first message, frowning at the fact she’d called up to see how she was. She knew her mother didn’t like Zach all that much and she’d said to her the day she got married, she remembered her asking if she was sure about what she was doing.

There were two more voicemail messages from her mother. The first:

“Oh Lily, you’re not going to believe this but I’ve called Frank. We had a great talk the other evening and he said to call him up whenever I wanted. So I did, I called him and he wants me to go out, as soon as possible. I think I need to get away; so much has happened lately, I need a break Lily. Call me later will you and I’ll tell you more.”

Lily was pleased for her mother and, yes, she did need a break.

Then the last message:

Lily, I’m going to California. I’m going tonight, I called up the airline and they said they could get me on a flight; I’m packing as I speak to you. I’m so excited. Listen sweetheart, look after the house for me, I know you have a key and any problems, John can help you out. I shall call you when I arrive and if you want me for anything else, just call. I don’t know how long I’ll be away, may be a couple of weeks. Love you Lily.

Then she was gone and Lily was left slightly panicked but at the same time so pleased for her mom. What was she going to do now? She was hoping her mother would come and get her so she could stay with her.

“What is it Lily?” Gerard asked once again coming over. “You OK?”

“Its mom…she…she’s gone to be with a friend, unexpectedly so…there’s no one at her house. I thought she’d come and get me and I could stay there until…well at least until I get my strength back, decide what I can do and until get used to this goddam cast.” She said getting frustrated.

“Is there no-one else you can stay with? Another family member?” Asked Gerard.

“No, there isn’t. I’ll be OK there by myself, I’m sure I can manage.” Said Lily.

“I’d stay with you tonight if I could but its Dad’s retirement party this evening and I have to be there, may be I could come along afterwards, check that you’re OK.” Gerard said, concerned now for Lily because she should be with someone.

“No, Gerard, you can’t possibly, its too much to ask, and anyway, you..”

But then she got interupted. “I’ll stay with you, you can’t be alone right now.” Said a voice.

It was Frank and he’d offered to be with her.